Robbins: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is a Fatal Fourway match for the number one contendership to the Real World’s Championship! Introducing first…
Flash Gordon starts on the PA as smoke bellows on the stage. Boos begin raining down on the arena as a spotlight zeroes in on the center of the stage where Dash USED to be kneeling down. However, Dash’s newfound attitude has him just waltzing out, carelessly. His trusty robot companion, Hello World, wheels behind him as Dash acts disgusted at the idea of slapping hands with anyone.
Robbins: From the Future… Weighing 210lbs… DAAAAASH DDDDDDAAAAAAACKSON!
The fans come alive as ‘Nothing But A Good Time’ by Poison plays in the studio. Through the curtain come the two smiling young wrestlers: Bowie Abrams, and the competitor in this match, Bradlee Nelson.
Robbins: Next, from Pocatello, Idaho… weighing in at 217lbs… BRADLEEEEEEEEEEE NEEEEEEEEELLLLLLSOOOON!
Each member of The Surf Express Bros slap hands with the fans as they make their way down to the ringside area. While Bowie stays on the outside, Bradlee enters the ring and sizes up Dash Dackson across the way.
“Hello It’s Me” by Todd Rundgren begins to play over the arena’s sound system. The crowd begins to boo as Undercover Lover makes his way out from the back in a pink robe, dancing seductively down the aisle as usual. He stops at one particular lady and gyrates his hips a bit. When she looks disgusted he waves her off and moves towards the ring.
Robbins: On his way to the ring next, from “The City of Love” New Orleans, Louisiana… weighing in at 225lbs… UNDERCOVERRRRRRRRR… LOOOOOOOOOVERRRRRR!
Just as Undercover Lover gets into the ring and chooses a corner to stand in, “Train of Consequences” by Megadeth begins playing and the audience boos even LOUDER. The former Real World’s Champion walks through the curtains, looking sour at the fact that he even has to compete in a match to get a rematch against Vito.
Robbins: And finally, their opponent, weighing in at 238lbs, from Hillsboro, NC… All Business….ALEEEEEEEEX BRUUUUUUUUDERRRRRR!
Alex makes his way to the ring, slowly, patiently. But just before he can get to the ring… the famous guitar solo opening of the Eagles’ classic “Life in the Fast Lane” hits the speakers and the crowd goes absolutely WILD!
Moss: Hold on a second, folks!! Looks like we have a fifth person coming out, and he’s our Real World’s Champion!
Howley: Aw what the hell is this bald-headed, New York idiot doing out here?!
Bruder’s eyes close, clearly agitated that he has to hear the music of Vito Valentino for a match he isn’t even involved in. Turning around to eye his nemesis, Vito waves and holds up the Real World’s Championship. The audience roars as Metro begins making his way over to the announce booth!
Howley: WHAT?! No. Stop. This can’t be happening.
Moss: Will you stop it?! It looks like Vito Valentino is joining us for commentary here for this match, folks! A match he clearly has a vested interest in!
Vito “Metro” Valentino picks up a headset next to Howley, slapping him stiffly across the shoulders. A scowl on Howley’s face tells the story of a man who is far from amused.
Vito: As my good friend Carlos Ruiz would say, HOLA! Let’s get this match underway, whadda ya say? We got a new number one contender to crown!
Just as Vito says this, referee Kevin Clady calls for the bell.
Ding!!! Ding!!! Ding!!!
Alex Bruder begins this contest by rolling outside of the ring. Bradlee Nelson is none too happy about the former Real World’s Champion bouncing from the contest and gives chase. Back in the ring, Dash Dackson attempts to sneak attack Undercover Lover, but Lover’s sixth sense tingles him and he turns around to greet him with a right hand. Whipping Dash into the ropes, Lover nails a dropkick on the rebound.
Back outside, Bruder is running around the ring with Bradlee hot on his tails, but all of a sudden Alex suckers him in, turns around, and blasts the Surf Express Bro tag team member with a hard lariat! The fans in attendance boo Alex unmercifully as he smirks all-knowingly at surprising his chaser.
Vito: Ah marone! Typical Alex, really. Mind games. Bradlee, unfortunately, was not prepared enough for that.
Moss: Bruder certainly has an edge on the rest of the competitors in this match in that regard, Vito.
Howley: Holy smokes. Are all three of us actually in agreement about something? I didn’t anticipate this happening tonight!
Vito, Moss, and Howley all share a laugh as the action continues.
Back in the ring, Lover is waiting for Dash to get up as he measures him up for another dropkick, but Dash sidesteps it and immediately crashes down across his back with an elbow drop. Seeing nobody around, Dash makes a, wait for it, dash to turn his opponent over and make the cover! Kevin Clady is right there for the count!
One!
Lover kicks out with ease just as Bruder slides back into the ring under the ropes like a snake on the hunt.
Moss: Just a reminder, folks. This match does not have elimination rules. It’s one fall to the finish!
Vito: Thank God I’m not defendin’ my title in there tonight ‘cause I wouldn’t even have to be beat to lose it!!
Howley: Well, Vito, that’s why they call them “Fatal Fourway” matches. One wrong move or one out of place moment, and your chances at winning become fatal.
Bruder grabs Dash by the back of his neck… AND TRIES TO GO FOR THE COBRA CLUTCH! The fans all freak out, giving an idea of who they especially don’t want to win tonight. Lover is back up though, and he charges forward at Dash, connecting flush against Dash’s exposed abdomen with a football tackle that drives both he and Bruder harshly against the turnbuckle, breaking the latter’s attempt at locking in his feared submission hold. Bradlee Nelson is back in the ring though and just as Undercover Lover is getting to his feet with Dash and Bruder in front of him, Bradlee sprints towards them, leaps and connects with a jumping corner splash! Undercover Lover, Dash Dackson, and Alex Bruder all fall to the canvas as Bradlee Nelson stands tall amongst them!
Vito: I’mma just say it, okay? I’m impressed with this guy. I don’t care if people think he’s a tag specialist or whatever. This. BRO. Can. GO.
Moss: He’s looking really good so far!
Howley: He can go. For now. But when the chips are down? This guy doesn’t have the singles experience by himself to win.
Bradlee brings Alex Bruder to his feet, but as soon as he does, Bruder rakes his eyes! Bruder lifts him up… and nails a power slam!
Vito: Uh oh.
Bruder hooks a leg and Clady is in position…
One!
Moss: He might have him!
Two!!
Howley: This is it!!
Thr- Undercover Lover smashes down across Bruder’s back with an axe handle smash, thereby breaking up the pin attempt. Lover gets the former Real World’s Champion to his fet, scoops him up, and slams him down shoulder first across his knee.
Vito: Whoa! That looked rough… this Undercover Lover is damn impressive!
Moss: I believe he calls that one Separation Anxiety
Before he can go for a pin attempt, HELLO WORLD sweeps his leg with one swipe of his metal arm and Lover goes down in a heap, clutching his leg.
Howley: Haha! Yes! Hello World paying dividends for Dash Dackson right now!
Seeing his trusty robot companion take out Undercover Lover, Dash raises his arms in victory.
Vito: That robot needs a beat down. He tries that with me and—
Bradley Nelson runs at Dash with a running jumping back elbow but Dash instinctively ducks and BLASTS Hello World on the outside as he lands! Hello World tips over and Dash is nearly apoplectic.
Moss: Take that, Dr. Robotnik!
Dash goes to climb through the ropes, but Bradley Nelson rolls him up with a school boy!
One!
Bruder is back up and sees the pin attempt.
Two!!
Bruder dives to break up the pin…
Three!!!
…but he’s too late!
Howley: NO!!!!!!
Ding! Ding!! Ding!!!
Robbins: The winner of this match via pinfall and the new number one contender to the Real World’s Championship… BRADLEEEEERER NELSOOOOOOON!!
Vito: Wow. I… didn’t expect that!
Vito removes his headset and grabs the Real World’s Championship from the announce table he rested it on.
Moss: I’m STUNNED. I don’t think anyone gave Bradlee Nelson a chance in hell of winning this match! And now? He gets a shot at becoming the third ever Real World’s Champion in Classic Wrestling!
Howley: What a travesty of JUSTICE!! Bruder was right there!!
Vito: But guess what, Thunderturd? He wasn’t. Bradlee won this one fair and square. So you know what? I’ll be HAPPY to defend my Real World’s Championship against him and give him the shot that he deserves. I said if I won this championship at In Your Haunted House, I would be a fighting champion and defend against ALL comers. I’m a man of my word, guys… so that’s exactly what I’m gonna do!
Bruder sits on the mat, knees bent, shaking his head out of sheer disgust for what just happened. Dash Dackson is arguing with Kevin Clady that he got a shoulder up, and Undercover Lover is being checked on by the ringside medical team for a possible leg injury after Hello World’s blatant interference.
Speaking of Hello World, the robot is spinning in its tracks as helpless as a stranded turtle on the outside mat.
Moss: This kid has the biggest match of his life ahead of him! What a win!
Howley: He better not waste it against that jerk, Vito. Thunderturd?! I better not hear people chanting that!
Bowie Abrams slides into the ring to congratulate his tag team partner, fist bumping and BRO-hugging each other to much fanfare!
Suddenly, as Vito Valentino has made his way down to the ring, he climbs into the ring. The Surf Express Bros look at Vito with caution as the fans all begin to wonder about the Real World Champion’s true intentions.
But everyone’s questions are answered immediately as Vito Valentino extends his hand out of respect. Bowie and Bradlee look at each other, shrug, and they each extend their own hands with fists, asking Vito to bump them.
Nodding at them both, Vito clenches his fist and bumps both of their hands out of respect!
‘Nothin’ But a Good Time’ by Poison hits the arena speakers and the crowd launches into cheers, excited to see Bradlee Vs Vito in the coming weeks.
Clapping for Bradlee’s well-earned victory, Vito exits the ring with the Real World’s Championship, slapping hands and delivering high fives along his way to the back..