The house lights flicker as “Let It Rock” by Bon Jovi plays throughout the venue. The slow build of the guitar riff primes the crowd for the appearance of their hero in tights.
At the songs apex, Harry Chest walks out on stage sporting his flashy smile and signature heroically caped attire.
He marches to the ring and misses most hand slaps with the fans. His hair is gelled back and his chest is pushed out with pride.
A tuft of iconic chest hair protrudes from the top of his combat suit collar. The word ‘CHEST’ runs across his pectorals in fuzzy felt lettering. Harry Chest ascends into the ring where his demeanor changes to a serious one as he waits for his partner.
Flash Gordon starts on the PA as smoke bellows on the stage. A spotlight zeroes in on the center of the stage where Dash is knelt down. In time with the music he stands up and puts his hands in the air. His trusty robot companion, Hello World, wheels behind him as Dash slaps hands with some fans as he makes his way to the ring. He rolls into the ring and does a very exaggerated point and shouts “THE FUTURE!”. Both men shake hands.
Moss: These two men haven’t shared a ring as partners, let’s see how they do going against a team as well oiled as the Bros.
The familiar guitar licks and drum beats to “Nothin’ But a Good Time” by Poison hit your eardrums and from the back bounds Bowie Abrams and Bradlee Nelson in matching long tights and miles-wide smiles. They play to the studio audience, getting them into the show as they make their way to the ring. Once they’re between the ropes, they’ll flex and pose a bit for the laaaaadies before the bell rings.
Howley: I can’t stand these two, but I also can’t stand the other two either. I’m so conflicted.
Moss: You could just do your job?
All four men are in the ring, the Surf Bros are represented by Bradlee, and Dash stays in the ring as the others take their spot on the apron. The bell rings as the two men lock up in the center, Bradlee gets the upper hand and drives Dash into the corner. Holding him there for a moment before the ref breaks them up, a clean break with no shenanigans. Bradlee calls for a test of strength. Dash hesitates before latching onto Bradlees hand, and the two men struggle back and forth. Bradlee once again gets the upper hand but slowly Dash gets his footing and makes a comeback to where they are even. Dash falls to his back and plants both feet in the gut of Bradlee and tries to flip him over, but Bradlee manages to get his feet under him and pulls Dash up into the air. In quick succession Dash grabs the arm of Bradlee and drags him down to the mat. Bradlee quickly hops to his feet and goes for a lariat, but Dash ducks under the attack. Bradlee turns around into dropkick. Bradlee once again gets to his feet quickly.
Moss: Quick action in this match. Both teams seem to be evenly matched.
Howley: It appears that way, I’ll just be glad when this is all over, that robot needs to be disassembled.
Moss: Leave Hello World out of this, he’s done nothing to you.
Howley: That’s how Terminator started too.
Bowie reaches for a tag and so does Harry. Clean tag with no interruptions. Bowie locks up with Harry and quickly slams him to the mat. Harry leaps up and gives Bowie a slam of his own. Harry runs against the ropes and basement kicks Harry to the mat, and quickly transitions into a side headlock. Harry struggles for a minute before the split crowd begins to fire him up. Harry manages to get to a solid base and elbows Bowie in the stomach. Then another one, followed by a third. Bowie releases the hold as Harry bolts towards the ropes. Bowie looks up and is taken down by a forearm to the chest.
Moss: Both men are down.
Howley: You’ve gotta keep your head on a swivel or else BLAMMO, lights out.
Moss: I can’t argue with that.
The crowd’s split makes it difficult to garner who they are supporting, as Dash stomps on the ring steps, and Bradlee slams his hand on the top turnbuckle. Bowie slowly drags himself to his corner, as Harry does the same. In tandem both teams make the tag.
Moss: Both teams have the fresh man in.
Howley: Define Fresh you idjit.
Dash and Bradlee square off once more in the middle of the ring. Both men grasped the back of the other’s head and threw fists with reckless abandon. The crowd pops huge, Harry and Bowie get to their feet and rush at one another in the ring. All four men are brawling inside the ring, and the ref is trying his hardest to regain control. Harry and Bowie stumble and fall out of the ring, while still battling. Dash takes the upper hand, and pushes Bradlee to the corner and climbs to the middle rope and continues the assault. With each blow the crowd counts along with him.
Howley: Dash taking the fight to the Bro’s and it looks like it’s paying off.
Moss: Hold on a second, Bradlee looks to have a plan.
Bradlee manages to block a blow and holds Dash up in the air as he walks him to the middle of the squared circle. And slams him down in the middle of the ring. Bowie stands up but doesn’t notice Harry slide into the ring. Bowie turns around into a CHIN DIMPLER.
Howley: This match would be over right now if he was the legal man, too bad he’s not!
Moss: I don’t think this one is over quite yet.
Harry drags Dash on top of Bradlee but before the ref could count, Bowie had climbed the top rope and leapt off hitting everyone in sight with a CONTACT HIGH.
Moss: Bowie might’ve just saved this match for the Surf…
Howley: He might’ve done more than that…
Moss: Absolute carnage in the ring.
Landing on top of Dash, Harry and Bradlee, Bowie rolls over to his side screaming in pain. As the ref begins to survey the carnage. The two legal men are out cold and not moving. The other two men are also not standing in their respective corners. The ref looks around and gives them a moment but after no progress was made he had no choice but call over the ring announcer. He whispers into his ear and calls for the bell.
Howley: WHAT THE HELL! Why is the bell ringing?!?
Moss: I don’t know. There wasn’t a pinfall or submission. Let’s hear what ring announcer Harold Robbins has to say.
Harold Robbins: As a result of no competitor being able to continue, this bout has been declared a DRAW.
Moss: A DRAW! Wow what a call by our referee!
Howley: Yea a controversial call! I get no one was moving but man… You hate to see no one come out on top of this matchup!
The fans boo the decision. Surf Express Bro come to slowly and find one another as Bowie checks on Bradlee. On the other side of things it’s not so warm as Dash Dackson stares daggers at Harry Chest. As Harry moves in with his arms out wide to check on Dash, Dackson leaves the ring instead and heads for the back shaking his head in frustration.
Moss: Dackson not too happy about this one, you can see it on his face, with the cold reaction to Harry Chest!