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CHECKING IN WITH A WILD THANG

November 29, 2021 by mikey

Freddy Kilgore exits the ring through the middle rope, putting an arm around Wild Kat and raising a hand in victory to the cheering fans at ringside. As he begins to walk toward the back, he is stopped by an eager Otto Price – with microphone in hand.

Otto Price: “Feral” Freddy Kilgore! A dominating performance tonight for sure. Did you need that to get back on track after the loss to Shujin Yama? More importantly to me and all the fans at home: how are you feeling?

Freddy Kilgore’s eyes appear to nearly bug out of his skull. He removes his arm from around Wild Kat and leans into Otto Price’s mic with a face full of intensity. 

Freddy Kilgore: OTTO MAAAAAAANNNN!!! You’re lucky I love you, brother.

Otto nods and smiles slightly, but continues to hold the mic for the bombastic Classic wrestler. 

Freddy Kilgore: You see, Otto-Bot – there’s more than one way to win. Now I’m not going to whine, I’m not going to make excuses – and I’m damn sure not going to ignore reality. And the reality is: did Freddy Kilgore leave the Pay Per View as the Premier American Champion? No, baby… he did not.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kilgore doesn’t let the fan’s boos get to him. He holds up a hand as if to say, “wait a sec.”

Freddy Kilgore: Hold on! Hold on, my little Wild Hearts! You see, baby, lemme paint the picture for you: it’s Papa Wild Thang vs. Shujin Yama, mano-e-mano, battling it out for the Premier American Championship and SURROUNDED by legions of screaming Wild Hearts! And Freddy Kilgore does what he does best, baby – HE FEEDS OFF THE WILD HEARTS!

Kilgore motions all around to the fans in attendance, and they reward him with a round of cheers.

Freddy Kilgore: I COULD FEEL IT, OTTO-TUNE. THE POWER OF THE WILD HEARTS WAS FLOWING THROUGH MY VEINS!! INTO MY PUMPING HEART!! I COULD HEAR IT WITH EACH BEAT!!

Kilgore pumps his fist and mimics the sound of a heart beat.

Freddy Kilgore: BUMP BUMP! TAKE HIM DOWN! BUMP BUMP! TAKE HIM DOWN! 

Freddy Kilgore: AND I REACHED DOWN DEEP, BABY, DEEPER THAN FREDDY KILGORE HAS EVER GONE!! AND I WRAPPED MY HANDS AROUND THAT MONSTER OF A MAN!! AND I FELT THE POWER!! AND I LIFTED SHUJIN YAMA UP…

Kilgore pantomimes a big slam.

Freddy Kilgore: AND I SLAMMED HIM INTO THE MAT, BABY!! AND THEN…

Kilgore suddenly stops being so animated. He pauses. He makes a “come here” motion beckoning Price to move the mic in closer. When he speaks, it’s as if he’s revealing a big secret.

Freddy Kilgore: I saw the fear in his eyes, Otto. Shujin Yama… the big bad dude… Frankenstein’s monster… the immovable object… he was scared, baby.

Kilgore breaks out into a grin before bringing the tempo back up.

Freddy Kilgore: AND I LOVED IT!! THE BULLY WAS GETTING A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE!! AND WHAT DID HE DO?? HE KNEW HE COULDN’T STOP FREDDY KILGORE WHEN ALL THE WILD HEARTS WERE BEHIND HIM!! HE KNEW HE COULDN’T HANG ON THE WILD SIDE!! AND HE TOOK THE COWARDS WAY OUT!! HE HAD TO CHEAT, BABY!!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Freddy Kilgore: AND EVEN THOUGH I DIDN’T WALK OUT OF THAT MATCH AS PREMIER AMERICAN CHAMPION, I STOOD IN THE FACE OF A MAN WHO MANY THOUGHT WAS UNSTOPPABLE AND I FORCED HIM TO CHEAT!!! I FORCED HIM TO ADMIT THAT HE COULDN’T TAKE PAPA WILD THANG STRAIGHT UP!!! AND THAT, OTTO-BAWN… IS ALMOST SWEETER THAN WALKING OUT WITH THE BELT!!!

YYYYAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!

Kilgore turns to look into the camera – and he POINTS!

Freddy Kilgore: And someday, Shujin Yama, your path is going to cross with Papa Wild Thang again. And we both know the outcome is going to be different. And Freddy Kilgore will bring home the Premier American Championship to all his Wild Hearts!

Otto Price: Very good! So I have to ask, with all that in mind: what’s next for “Feral” Freddy Kilgore?

Freddy Kilgore: I’ll tell you what Otto… I don’t know what the future holds. But I do have one thing to say to the rest of the Classic Roster.

Suddenly, Kilgore leans back and releases a primal…

HOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!

Freddy Kilgore: BRING IT ON, BABY!!!

Kilgore nods to Otto Price, wraps his hands around Wild Kat, and turns to head to the back.

Otto Price: Well there you have it! Back to you guys.

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