“Beat it” By Michael Jackson plays over the loudspeakers as we gear up for our first tag team match of the evening.
Moss: Well here come two fan favorites!
Indeed the fans cheer loudly when the mismatched tag team comes through the curtain. Bobby Dean smiles and waves at the fans, when Larry tries to do the same, Bobby punches his elbow and tells him to focus up.
Robbins: The following match is a tag team match! Coming to the ring first, at a total combined weight of 646 Lbs…. “Beautiful” Bobby Dean, Lunchbox Larry…. BOBBY DEAN AND SOME MAN!
The pair get to the ring, Larry assures Bobby this is their first step in getting the Tag Team Titles back. This just enraged BBD further. The theme song fading out and a new one fading in snaps him out of it.
“Surprise! You’re Dead” by Faith No More begins to play and the fans are unsure on how to react at first. The music gets louder and through the curtain in a red robe comes one of the two men. He’s looking down at the ground, his hood hangs over his face, and finally he peels it back to reveal himself. His brother comes through the curtain without the choreography, holding a wrench, he spits on the ground before moving past his brother and marching towards the ring.
Robbins: and their opponents… Hailing from Tasmania, Australia, at a total combined weight of 395 Lbs… This is HAUL, This is GNASH… THIS IS REPOSSESSED!
The pair get into the ring, Haul takes off his robe and stainds stoic in the ring. His brother meanwhile paces back and forth itching to fight.
Howley: A New Tag Team here in Classic Wrestling?
Moss: That’s right Thunderbird, Haul and Gnash a pair of brothers from Australia, here ready to make a name for themselves in the good ol’ USA!
The bell rings and we’re underway here at Classic Studios.
Gnash and Lunchbox Larry start the match off.
Moss: It appears Lunchbox wants to start off with the old test of strength!
Howley: Who’s ever won a match that way?
Indeed Larry lifts one arm up to the sky, testing the Australian native. Gnash eyes up the hand in the air and slowly, careful goes to clasp it and engage. He steps in closer and locks hands with Larry. As Larry goes to move his second hand up in the air, Gnash instead chooses a more direct approach.
Moss: WOAH!
Howley: THAT’S HOW YOU WIN!
Gnash punches Lunchbox straight between the eyes with his free hand. Dropping the mid day meal fan. Without letting go of the clasped hand Gnash uses it to pull Larry into position before dropping a leg across his neck. He still holds the hand and slowly pulls Larry to his feet. Then sends him off the ropes. When Larry comes back he flips up and over Gnash who delivers a big back body drop!
Howley: Larry a little overwhelmed this early on here!
Larry gets right back up to his feet and circles back towards his opponent. When Larry comes with arms raised, Gnash is able to kick Lunchbox in the gut and deliver a quick and ugly suplex.
Gnash goes for a cover, but quickly Bobby Dean comes in to make a save.
Howley: I haven’t seen BBD move that fast, since they announced the new buffet opening at Jacks!
Moss: The man seems like he’ll do just about anything to get those Tag Team Titles back!
Gnash pulls Larry over to his corner and tags in his brother Haul. Gnash grabs Larry in a full nelson and Haul reers back and slaps him across the chest. The sound echos across the studio. Larry tries to cover up but cannot. The official begins to bark at Gnash to get out of the ring, after another slap he does just that.
Moss: Taking their time to get out of the ring!
Thunderbird: They get 5 seconds, why not take all of them? Maybe the rules are different in Australia, have you ever thought of that Moss? This is their first match, give them a break!
Haul now takes over for a few minutes. He is able to put Larry in an empty corner and lifts him to a seated position on the top turnbuckle. He climbs up as well and hooks Larry for the Superplex.
Moss: Oh no watch out! High risk maneuver coming up!
With the support of the fans, Lunchbox is able to block the attempt and hold on. A frustrated Haul tries again but still can’t lift Larry off of the pad. Upon further review, Larry has grapevined his leg around the rope. Larry puts both hands on the chest of Haul and pushes him off the turnbuckle. Haul lands on his back, Larry looks at the crowd who egg him on. He looks back down at Haul. Finally he leaps from the second rope with a big splash!
Moss: What a move!
Howley: No one’s going to accuse him of hang time that’s for sure!
Both men are down in the middle of the ring. Gnash is reaching for the tag and so is Bobby Dean!
Moss: Bobby actually wants in this thing!
Howley: Of course he does, the other guy is down!
The crowd all clap in rhythmic fashion as Larry drags his body to the corner. On the other side of the ring Haul tags out and Gnash comes in, he makes a mad scramble towards Larry but at the last second he makes the tag to Bobby Dean!
Moss: Here we go!
Bobby Dean steps through the ropes but Gnash is the faster striker. He’s able to hit multiple forearms but Bobby Dean doesn’t go down. Finally after a jumping forearm to the back of the head, Bobby is dropped to a knee. Gnash turns to his brother and motions that he’s got this handled. Meanwhile Bobby Dean…
Howley: Is that a weiner!?
Moss: No of course no….wait a minute…
Bobby Dean reaches into his tights and pulls out a hot dog in a bun. He takes a couple of quick bites and then tosses it to Larry. Lunchbox avoids catching it on purpose.
As Gnash turns back around he hits another forearm, but something weird begins to happen. Bobby Dean swallows the hot dog bites and begins to power through the onslaught.
Moss: Larry leading the crowd in a BOBBY chant now! Dean looks like he’s getting stronger!
Howley: Must have been the blood sugar! Been there!
Bobby stands up through the attack and Headbutts Gnash, sending him flying. Haul comes through the ropes illegally and runs towards Bobby. Dean leaps himself and Haul runs face first off the stomach and chest of “Beautiful” Bobby Dean and falls through the ropes. Bobby Dean lines up Gnash, he runs off the ropes and splashes onto Gnash.
Moss: “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
Howley: Is that what he calls it? Wait here comes Haul!
Moss: Here comes Lunchbox!
ONE!
TWO!
Howley: LARRY CAUGHT HIM WITH THAT RUNNING PUNCH!
Moss: KNUCKLE SANDWICHHHHHHHHH!
THREE!
The bell rings as Larry falls onto Bobby crushing Gnash just a little bit more. The fans come alive as “Beat It” hits again.
Robbins: Here are your winners… BOBBY DEAN AND SOME MAN!
Moss: BDSM Takes home the win but HAUL AND GNASH have a good first showing, just came up a little short against the former champions!
Bobby Dean and Larry celebrate a bit in the ring before Bobby goes looking for the rest of his hotdog.