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Mikey Unlikey's Fed of All Feds

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Haunted BDSM

October 31, 2021 by Randall Schwartz

We cut backstage to sight of “Beautiful” Bobby Dean, front and center, with his partner Lunchbox Larry lurking in the background, as usual. Before Bob lifts the mic to his mouth, you can just barely hear him voice the words, “Watch ‘n’ learn.”

The snide smirk gives way to that cherubic expression we all have grown to know and love… or hate. Then he steps forward, looking straight into the camera.

Dean: HELLOOOOOOO, CLEEEEEEEVELAAAAAAAAAND!

As he waits for the cheap pop to come and go, over Bobby’s shoulder, you see Larry’s eyes pop out as his jaw hits the floor.

Dean: I don’t know about any of you BEAUTIFUL fans out there tonight, but I couldn’t be more excited about the CLASSIC Tag Team Championship match TONIGHT!

He pauses once more, sure the fans are going wild again and once more giving them time to settle.

Dean: The ONE thing I’m not so excited for, though?

Fake frown follows.

Dean: There’s rumors running around that after this SPECTACULAR show, we might be going on the road.

Still puffing out his bottom lip, the Beautiful Man from Honalee slowly nods his head, giving the crowd time to boo the thought of Classic going elsewhere.

Dean: If I were running this place? We’d stay in this SENSATIONAL city… FOREVER!

The cheap pop returns, stronger than the first.

Dean: … But I’m not.

Fake frown returns, stronger than the first.

Larry, still in awe… or something like that, starts slowly shaking his head as Bobby quickly raises his right hand, pointer finger aimed at the ceiling.

Dean: BUT! I can promise you all BEE-DEE-ESS-EM addicts ONE thing! If tonight is the last night we see you in some time… BOBBY DEAN, and Some Man, WILL make sure YOU! NEVER! FORGET IT!

Bobby takes the moment, while the crowd settles back down from yet another pop, to look over his shoulder at Lunchbox and smile that cherubic smile. He quickly nods his head at Larry before returning focus to the fans.

Dean: After TONIGHT, you BEST believe that those Foreign Legion LOSERS are gonna want to go back to wherever the heck they came from! And THAT, my FANTASTIC FANS, is a Bobby Dean GUARANTEE!

One more pause for the dust in the stands to settle.

Dean: OH, and one last thing…

Bobby raises a closed fist emphatically.

Dean: CLEVELAND ROCKS!

He drops the mic, as the fans go wild, and leaves the picture with both hands raised in triumph. Lunchbox stumbles to bend over and pic the mic back up. He gets a firm grip on it, then stands up a little sheepishly, and raises his own clenched fist.

Larry: OHIO!

There was a pop, but not quite as strong as Bob’s last one. As Lunchbox scurries off screen after his partner, you can hear Bobby mutter, “You ruined it.”

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