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Mikey Unlikey's Fed of All Feds

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All Business is All Champion!

August 22, 2021 by mikey

Otto Price is standing in front of his podium, a smile on his face.

Price: We’ve had a lot of great action tonight, and there’s still more to come.  Right now I’d like to welcome the man who won the main event of SLAM-A-THON, Classic Wrestling’s Real World’s Champion, “All Business” Alex Bruder!

The studio lights dim, and a spotlight follows Alex Bruder as he passes through the curtains and ambles toward Otto Price to a chorus of boos.  Dressed in his ring gear, the gorgeous golden Real World’s Championship is strapped around his waist.  As he reaches the podium, the lights rise again, and the crowd starts to settle.  Otto raises his microphone again…

Price:  Alex Bruder…

..and is cut off as “All Business” removes the championship belt, hefting it high into the air with his right hand, letting the strap hang down along his arm.  Enjoying himself, Bruder smiles crookedly as the audience in the stands starts booing again.  He stands statuesque for a few moments, and then rests the Real World’s Championship on his right shoulder, before turning to face Otto.

Price:  Alex Bruder, at SLAM-A-THON, you defeated Rush Starling to win the tournament and became Classic Wrestling’s first Real World’s Champion.  It was an incredible accomplishment, but from the sounds of our fans, it seems like they were hoping for a different outcome.  What are your thoughts?

Otto leans his long thin microphone towards Alex, who pauses thoughtfully before speaking in his normal deliberate fashion.

Bruder:  Let me tell you something, Otto.  People hate an honest man.  And that’s what I am.  From day one, I said I’d do whatever needed to be done to win the tournament and this Real World’s Championship.  I’m sure every other man in the tournament told themselves the same thing, but only one of us was telling the truth.  I fought one of the best mat wrestlers in the world, and I pinned him.  But Metro, The Saint and Starling?  I slapped each of them into the Cobra Clutch and turned their whole world dark.

True to Bruder’s statement, his honest, if incomplete, summation of recent events is met with more boos.

Price:  Winning the Real World’s Championship is one thing, but you’ve got a target on your back now.  Have you heard who your first challenger might be?

Alex shakes his head.

Bruder:  I haven’t heard anything.  I look back in that locker room, and I know that whoever my first defense is against, it won’t be easy.  Back there, there are lumbering monsters, lightning quick grapplers, and everything in between.  I know that.  But when those same brutes, rock stars, time travellers, cowboys, superheroes and busses look out here, they see a man that in their secret hearts, they’re not quite sure they can beat.  What I also know, Otto, is this:  whoever my first challenger is…

Bruder narrows his eyes, leans toward the camera, and shifts his measured tone to a growl.

Bruder:…they won’t be my last challenger.

He stands straight again, and lets the crowd boo again, not reacting at all this time.

Price:  Fighting words from our Real World’s Champion.  Moss and Hawley, back to you!

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