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Mikey Unlikey's Fed of All Feds

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HUNGRY

March 13, 2022 by mikey

“Feral” Freddy Kilgore fills the frame. Behind him, the faintest hint of the Classic Wrestling logo – but it’s hard to see behind his muscular outline. Kilgore is looking down to start, and then raises his head up to become eye level with the camera. 

Freddy Kilgore: My little Wildhearts, we are weeks away from Papa Wild Thang’s final showdown with Alex Bruder. A titanic clash that pits the heart of a hero against the cowardice of a villain. 

Kilgore’s face intensifies.

Freddy Kilgore: At Capital Clash, baby, Alex Bruder is going to find out what happens when there’s nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. That’s when all the safety of civilization that you’ve always enjoyed is stripped away, when your true essence is laid bare like a naked and exposed nerve, daddy! Do you know what it’s like to be alone in the wild, Bruder? To experience that creeping feeling that you’re being watched, as it dawns on you that a hungry apex predator has you in his sights? To realize that you’re vulnerable, alone, and completely at the mercy of nature’s wrath?

Kilgore suddenly FLEXES as he raises his voice.

Freddy Kilgore: WELL, YOU WILL, BABY!! AT CAPITAL CLASH, YOU’RE IN FREDDY KILGORE’S SIGHTS AND HE’S CLOSING IN! NO MORE TRICKS, NO MORE DOUBLE TALK, JUST YOUR LAST HELPLESS MOMENTS AS YOU ARE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE THRILL OF THE HUNT!! I SUGGEST YOU MAKE PEACE AND GIVE YOUR SOUL TO THE ALMIGHTY… CAUSE YOUR ASS BELONGS TO PAPA WILD THANG!

Kilgore is absolutely manic now.

Freddy Kilgore: Enjoy these last few weeks, Bruder. CAUSE AT CAPITOL CLASH… YOU’RE BEING FED TO THE LIONS!! AND THIS KING OF THE JUNGLE IS HUUUUUNGRY, BABY!!

Kilgore leans back and lets loose a mighty HOOOOOOOWWWWLLLL as we cut elsewhere. 

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