Welcome to SLAM-A-THON!
The first shot we see is outside of the Gund Arena in Cleveland Ohio, and the fans are piling in the doors. Long lines stretch onto the street in front of the complex.
The video feed quickly cuts to the inside of the building where the majority of the seats are full and there’s a buzz in the air. The fans are very excited to get the show underway, as they sit and squirm, and talk about what’s coming up.
The lights die down and the fans come unglued as a highlight video fires up on the scoreboard screen. We see clips from the first five episodes of Classic Wrestling on RBTV. Including the REAL WORLDS CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT highlights. Finally the camera comes back to the ring. We see the layout for SLAM-A-THON. No big stage, just a wrestling ring in the middle of a large stadium. The entrance way is a long path through the fans, separated only by a guardrail. Inside the ring is ring announcer, Harrold Robbins. Before we get to him, we cut backstage where Otto Price stands smiling behind his podium. He’s dressed to the 9’s tonight and ready to get going as well.
“Welcome Classic Wrestling Fans, to the biggest show in Classic history! This is SLAM-A-THON!”
Inside the arena the fans yell excitedly.
Otto Price: “As you know by now, my name is Otto Price, the HOST of Classic Wrestling, and we’re here LIVE at the Gund Arena in Cleveland, Ohio for this unprecedented event! We’ve got some huge matches lined up for you! THREE championships will be on the line when we find out who the first REAL WORLD’S CHAMPION, PREMIER AMERICAN CHAMPION, AND THE CLASSIC WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS will be!”
He shifts gears from there.
Price: Not only do we have those HUGE matchups, but we’ve got a couple grudge matches as well! Before I tell you about those, let me introduce my CO-HOST for the first time ever tonight! We’re going to be joined by a Classic Wrestling superstar and his… manager?
He seems confused but that makes sense fairly quickly as his CO-HOST and friend make their way to the podium. We can hear a mechanical whirring noise as “The Future Fighter” Dash Dackson and his robot “Hello World” join Otto.
Price: Dash Dackson! Glad to have you here with me for SLAM-A-THON! Hello World! I’m excited you could join us too!
Otto reaches over and tries to shake the hand of Hello World, but the robot just rolls right past him.
Dash Dackson: Hi-lo Otto!
Dash looks over to Hello World who plays a laugh track. Otto Price is once again confused but hides it with a smile.
Dackson: You see that would have been a great joke where I’m from.
Dash looks and smiles into the camera.
Dackson: The future, I’m from the future. Not sure if I mentioned that yet.
Price: You may have mentioned it in the past.
Hello World plays the laugh track again, to which Dash looks at H-Dub and shakes his head.
Dash: No H-dub, only when I mention the past.
The awkward silence between the hosts is interrupted by the sound of Hello World printing a piece of paper. Dash grabs it from his friend and begins reading it.
Dash: And speaking of the future Otto, how about this line up tonight?
Price: That’s right Dash! It’s going to be a big night here. Let’s talk about what we’re going to see happen between Lord Colossus and King Kong Frank!? We saw my new boss, and yours Gruff Myers last week on the show make the match. With Gordy Lovett as special Ring Enforcer! How do you think that one is going to go down Dash?
Dackson: Well I could tell you exactly how it would go down Otto but then I would have to hyper-blast you into oblivion.
The laugh track is once again heard coming from the resident robot.
Dackson: Just thrashing you Otto. That canvas and wood you pastians call a ring is going to be working overtime to support those two big men. Am I right!?
Price: I’m with you on that one for sure! We’ve also got another big man in Classic Wrestling, Doctor Devastation going up against our resident superhero… Harry Chest! Do you think the Good Doctor takes this one, or is Harry going to SOAR to victory?
Dackson: Do you really want to know? Because I really could tell you. We could run the risk of time imploding onto itself but it might be worth it.
Price: Um, no offense Dash, but I want to get Hello World’s opinion on some of these matches too! Of Course we have the big 6 man battle royal for the Premier American Championship! Freddy Kilgore, Randall Schwartz, Vito Valentino, Shujin Yama, Carlos Ruiz, and Jack Fargo all get the opportunity to bring the championship home! H-Dub, your thoughts?
Hello World: I fail to understand how this battle is in fact royal. To my knowledge not one of the six individuals involved are monarchs. Does the implication of this battle mean one of them will be crowned a king or an emperor?
Dackson: What about the one who has to get a job at that place with King in the name? You know after his dreams all get crushed. The place that has those Wipers.
Hello World: Whoppers sir, but Burger King is not a form of royalty. It is an establishment that delivers swift nourishment in the form of hamburgers.
Otto Price is expressionless but quickly pushes on with a smile.
Price: Finally we’ve got our main event of the evening when we see “All Business” Alex Bruder take on Rush Starling in the finals of our REAL WORLDS TITLE TOURNAMENT! Both men have fought and won against THREE other Classic Wrestling superstars to reach this match. Now who will survive and be crowned the first champion of Classic Wrestling? We’ve got a big night ahead of folks so let’s get right into it! Down to my colleagues at ringside. Patrick Moss, and Joel “Thunderbird” Howley!
Foreign Legion vs Scott Hunter & Rikki Roxx
Moss: We’ve officially made it to SLAM-A-THON on Pay-Per-View, Thunderbird! Can you feel the energy from the Cleveland crowd here in the Gund Arena?
Howley: Sure can, Moss. Kicking off our fun filled event tonight will be a tag team competition between the Foreign Legion, who barely missed out on qualifying for the tag team title match, versus the team of Rikki Roxx and Scott Hunter!
Moss: That’s right! Mushigawa and Leon Van Zandt will be looking to prove they belong in the hunt for the titles, but Rikki and Scott might have something to say about that!
Howley: I can’t wait! Let’s go over to Harold Robbins for the intros.
I WANNA ROCK! ROCK!
Rikki Roxx struts into the arena like only he can as Twisted Sister belts out the classic tune. Bandana wrapped around his head and long flowing blond hair behind him. He’s got the stiff upper lip going below his mirrored aviator sunglasses as he swaggers his way to the ring. All the ladies in the crowd scream and rush the barricades, showering him with used panties and pleas for love as he makes his way up the stairs.
Roxx provocatively enters through the ropes, looking above his aviators pushed down to the end of his nose and shooting the ladies a wink before going into the ring with metal horns high into the air. He parades around and poses for the crowd, soaking in the energy as he awaits.
Robbins: Ladies and Gentlemen… this tag team rules match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first… weighing in at 235 lbs. He hails from Detroit Rock City! The THRASHMANNNNN… RIKKI ROXX!
“Burning Heart” reverberates through the Gund Arena. The crowd stands to their feet to catch a glimpse of the fan favorite as he walks out from behind the curtain.
Robbins: And his partner… weighing 245 lbs, hailing from Miami, Florida… SCOTT HUNTER!
“New World Symphony, 4th Movement” by Antonin Dvorak begins to play. Through the curtain comes the imposing duo of Mushigahara and Leon Van Zandt.
Robbins: And their opponents, accompanied by Eddie Dante… weighing in at a combined 532 lbs… they are Mushigawa and Leon Van Zandt… THE FOREIGN LEGION!
Mushigawa and Leon sprint down toward the ring, leaving their manager behind them. Roxx and Hunter look ready for some pre-bell action.
Moss: Foreign Legion is wasting no time here tonight!
Howley: Our favorite official, Felipe Chicoda is quick to cut them off as soon as they slide into the ring. Looks like he learned from their last match as he forces LVZ to the apron.
Rikki and Scott lower their guard and exchange a couple words before Hunter nods and steps through the ropes onto the apron in their corner. Chicoda calls for the bell.
DING! DING!! DING!!!
Moss: And here we go as LVZ and Rikki Roxx kick off the action! They lock up in the center of the squared circle!
LVZ snaps his arm up and over Rikki’s neck and starts to squeeze.
Howley: Leon using his slight height advantage to transition into a standing headlock.
Roxx quickly grabs onto each side of LVZ’s midsection and throws him to the ropes. LVZ bounces off the ropes and charges back toward Rikki with an outstretched arm.
Moss: Leon looking for the clothesline on the return-
Howley: Rikki ducks! LVZ bounces off the other ropes… Roxx sends him to the mat with a fireman’s carry.
LVZ slaps the mat and pushes himself up to his feet almost as fast as his opponent. The two meet back in the middle of the ring and grapple again. Rikki quickly pulls Leon’s shoulders downward while sending a knee up to his midsection.
Moss: Rikki whips Leon into his team’s corner after a smart knee to the gut right there. He charges after his opponent…
Howley: Big corner splash by Roxx! He tags in Scott Hunter!
Rikki grabs LVZ and turns him around, holding his arms up so Hunter can land a couple shots to the abdomen.
Moss: Teamwork against a duo like the Foreign Legion is going to be absolutely critical for Rikki and Hunter and it seems like they are well aware of that fact, T-bird.
Chicoda warns Roxx, who eventually steps through the ropes onto the apron. Hunter sends a quick boot to the gut of LVZ and grabs his head.
Howley: A nice snap suplex by Scott Hunter! He rolls over looking for a quick pin!
Chicoda drops for the count…
Moss: Hunter grabs LVZ and pulls him up.
While being stood up, LVZ shoots both hands up and grabs Hunter’s head, then drops to his knees pulling Scott’s head down onto the top of his own.
Howley: Smart counter there by LVZ!
Mushigawa’s leans over the ropes back in their corner begging for a tag. On the same page, LVZ takes advantage of the stumbled Scott Hunter and leaps back toward his teammate, slapping his hand before landing on the mat and rolling out onto the apron.
Moss: Mushigawa gets the tag and he’s ready for action, charging into the ring and flattening out Scott Hunter with a clothesline!
Hunter rolls on the mat in pain while Mushigawa taunts the crowd, receiving a slew of boos for his efforts.
Howley: The folks here in Cleveland are letting The Foreign Legion know just how they feel about them tonight!
Mushigawa moves toward Hunter’s head and lifts a leg.
Moss: Mushigawa with a big leg drop here. NO! HUNTER MOVES JUST IN TIME!
Mushigawa holds his lower back, as his face turns red. Hunter takes the chance to scurry back toward his corner.
Howley: Scott Hunter trying to make a tag here – wait, what’s going on here?
Moss: Seems like Eddie Dante is having some words with the official. Philipe is having no part of it, though. Looks like he’s giving the manager some words of his own…
Howley: Hunter makes the tag! Here comes Rikki Roxx back in action, who sends a sharp low dropkick to the head of Mushigawa as the big man was trying to get back to his feet!
Philipe Chicoda turns back to the action and starts shouting at Rikki Roxx.
Moss: I don’t think the official saw the tag!
Howley: I think you’re right, Moss. Seems like Chicoda’s forcing Rikki back out of the ring!
Showing frustration with the official, Scott Hunter steps back through the ropes and into the ring. He grabs Mushigawa and lifts him up to his feet, then whips him toward his team’s corner.
Moss: Mushigawa plants a foot and stops the whip, then reverses direction sending Scott Hunter into The Foreign Legion’s corner. What a show of strength right there, Thunderbird.
Mushigawa approaches Hunter in his corner.
Howley: Mushigawa with a big right – HUNTER BLOCKS! Hunter throws one back of his own-
Moss: LVZ grabs Hunter’s arm before he can land the punch! Mushigawa sends a left into Hunter’s exposed ribs. Then a right! Then another left!
Howley: Philipe is not happy with Foreign Legion’s shenanigans here, giving the team a warning of their own now.
Mushigawa brushes the official away, then tags LVZ in. He grabs Hunter’s head and locks his head under his left arm. LVZ runs to the side of his teammate, grabbing Hunter’s head under his right.
Moss: DOUBLE SUPLEX BY THE FOREIGN LEGION! OH MY, WHAT AN IMPACT!
Howley: Mushigawa holding his hands up innocently as Chicoda demands he leave the ring.
Moss: LVZ drops down on the mat at the side of the downed Scott Hunter and pushes him on his side – he’s locking in the Sugar Hold! This could be it, folks!
Just as Mushigawa begins to step through the ropes, he sees Rikki Roxx charging in to break up the hold.
Howley: The big man turns on a dime, as Chicoda checks on Hunter, and moves toward Roxx!
Just as Rikki gets close enough to dive, Mushigawa lifts his big right boot.
Moss: Boot to the face! Rikki Roxx is out cold! LVZ applies more pressure on the Sugar Hold…
Howley: Hunter taps! Hunter taps!
Chicoda calls for the bell and quickly tries to force LVZ to release the hold.
DING! DING!! DING!!!
Robbins: And your winners… THE FOREIGN LEGION!
Moss: Controversial outcome of this first match of SLAM-A-THON, as the Foreign Legion manage to pull this one off.
Howley: You hate to see it, Moss, but you know what you’re getting when you face The Foreign Legion.
Hairy Chest vs Dr Devastation
“Let it Rock” by Bon Jovi blares through the Gund Arena to a display of flickering lights, as the guitar’s climax leads the way for Classic Wrestling’s resident superhero, Harry Chest, to a hero’s welcome!
Tagging hands with the crowd, he riles them up into a burst of cheers on the way to the ring, which give way to jeers as “The Becoming” kicks in, and the lights dim.
Dr. Devastation emerges from the foggy entrance, emotionlessly surveying the crowd as he stalks his way towards the ring. The camera closes in on him and picks up a lowing, grumbling roar from the monster, as he grabs onto the ropes and storms into the ring, standing tall and undaunted by the booing Cleveland crowd. Referee Spencer Fuller makes sure both men are ready, before calling for the opening bell!
Moss: And so this… mismatch begins! Harry Chest surely wants to come out of Slam-a-Thon with a big victory, but he has a literal tall task ahead of him in the form of Dr. Devastation!
Dr. D beckons the heroic Chest to come at him, and after playing to the crowd a bit, Chest bounces off the ropes and tackles Dr. D with a hard right shoulder, but Dr. D barely flinches! The behemoth laughs and dares Chest to try again! Chest signals to the crowd, who cheers even harder, spurring him to bounce off the ropes again, and land the shoulder tackle to Dr. D… who bounces back from the impact…
Howley: HA! Harry Chest got laid out!
…only for Dr. Devastation to hit the ropes, and BLAST Chest onto the mat with his own, harder shoulder tackle! The crowd jeers as Dr. D roars in laughter!
Moss: We knew this wouldn’t be an easy match for Harry, but he REALLY may be in over his head now!
Dr. D taunts his much smaller rival, delivering a hard stomp to his back, and reaching down and grabbing him by his… well, “Harry Chest.” With Harry back to his feet, Dr. D gives him a HARD whip into the far turnbuckle, leaving the hero reeling from the impact long enough for the Bad Doctor to walk right over and push his foot right up against his throat! Spencer Fuller tries to break the choke, resorting to the five-count, which Dr. D lets go of the choke at four! Harry Chest sinks to the mat like a stone!
Dr. D laughs off the booing Gund Arena crowd, before dropping a meaty elbow onto Chest’s Chest, laying into it while Spencer Fuller goes for the count!
But Harry Chest manages to kick out at two! Dr. D is a bit flustered, but continues on his warpath, stomping Harry Chest right in the head, before yanking him back up and scoop-slamming him to the mat, followed by another elbowdrop, leaned in for the pin!
Moss: Once again, Harry Chest manages to kick out!
Feeling a surge from the crowd, Harry Chest slowly, but steadily, begins to rise under his own power! But Dr. D isn’t having it, and shoves him into the corner, before leaning in with a hard fist to the face! Visibly rocked, Harry can’t do much as he gets thrown into the opposite corner! Harry is groaning in pain from the impact, and Dr. D knows this, as he rushes in to hit him with a clothesline…
…but Harry Chest JUST manages to get out of the way, and Dr. D is reeling as he pulls away from the corner clutching his arm! Harry sees this and climbs up the ropes while putting his trusty cape on, coming down on the Bad Doctor with a high crossbody that he holds onto for the pin!
Harry Chest jumps up to his feet, battered, but victorious, and Spencer Fuller raises his arm in victory and Dr. Devastation can only process what just happened!
Howley: HOW DID HE!?
Robbins: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN YOUR WINNER BY PINFALL! HARRY CHEST!
Moss: Big surprises sometimes come in much smaller packages Thunderbird! Harry Chest with a big upset here against Dr Devestation! SLAM A THON CONTINUES!
Billy Fields: “Hello, everybody, I’m Billy Fields and I’m ecstatic to be backstage here at the Gund Arena. Joining me at this time is the representative of Shujin Yama, Sensei Abe Lincoln.
The sensei, clad in his typical tuxedo and black bowler hat, steps into the frame next to Big Joe.
Sensei Abe Lincoln: Ah! You again Billy-San!
Lincoln rubs his seedy little hands together and spits on the ground.
Lincoln: No respect!
Fields clearly spikes the camera, and searches for reassurance from someone on the other side before continuing.
Fields: Sensei Lincoln, tonight your associate Shujin Yama will compete against five other men in a bid to crown the first Premier American Champion here in Classic Wrestling. You’ve got to be feeling pretty confident going into a battle royal that would seemingly play directly into your associate’s strengths?
Lincoln: Confidence is guaranteed, mmhmm. But as you know, Billy-San, this match about more than just pretty American championship. This match about respect. This match about Shujin Yama making example of each of so-called ‘men’ in that ring.
Fields: Yes, you’ve mentioned that a couple of times over the past few weeks. Talk us through that. What is the disrespect that you and your associate claim you’ve suffered.
Lincoln: Think back, Billy-San, to very first episode of Classic Wrestling. Shujin Yama attacked in effort to give Rich K. Hunt advantage. But Shujin Yama prevailed, mmhmm. Shuin Yama won first ever main event in Classic Wrestling history. So what happened next? Do you know?
Fields: You mean in the Real World’s Championship tournament?
Lincoln: Mmhmm, Shujin Yama not in main event. And then, Shujin Yama cheated by Johnny-San. I filed complaint against Johnny-San with Classic Wrestling, but no action taken, Billy-San! This disrespect to Shujin Yama allowed to continue.
FIelds: JSN is out of the tournament too now…
Lincoln: Doesn’t matter! Disrespect allowed! Disrespect continues! Shujin Yama’s prayer altar tucked away inside janitor’s closet. How is he supposed to fit in there, mmhmm?! Disrespectful! And then, to ask Shujin Yama to team with Randall-San… Shujin Yama did not need to be defeated in order to lose. Shujin Yama was not defeated!
Fields: You’re referring of course to Randall Schwartz tagging himself in during their match against Carlos Ruiz and Vito Valentino on the last episode of Classic Wrestling television.
Lincoln: Randall-San did not listen to Shujin Yama! Randall-San disrespected Shujin Yama! And now Shujin Yama has loss on record that should not be there. But tonight… tonight Shujin Yama has chance to hold not just Randall-San to account, but all of Classic Wrestling. Five men at once? Shujin Yama works better alone.
Fields: What of this promise that he has made should he not be successful? I was there when he said it. He promised a vow of silence.
The sensei chuckles, though it sounds more like a cackle.
Lincoln: As you said, Shujin Yama very confident. But Shujin Yama very proud, and very angry. Let me tell you this, Billy-San… a quiet Shujin Yama is even more dangerous. You know how dangerous Shujin Yama is, now imagine not knowing what he is thinking. Unpredictable. Impenetrable. Shujin Yama will take vow of silence if he is wronged again. And that vow will lead to waging war on all of Classic Wrestling. If needed. But tonight… tonight it won’t be needed. Tonight is chance for new commissioner of Classic Wrestling, Griffin-San, to ensure Shujin Yama walks out as Premier American Champion. To restore order of things. The order of Yama.
And with that, Sensei Abe Lincoln walks off screen, leaving Fields alone in front of the camera.
Fields: You heard that right, folks! If Shujin Yama believes he has been cheated again here tonight, he is promising to take a vow of silence! And his associate tells us that would be a very bad thing for all of us. Let’s hope it won’t come to that! Back to you at ringside!
Tag Team Championships: The Amazing Amarettos vs BDSM
The lights die down and a bit of smoke comes from behind the entrance curtain. “Abracadabra” by Steve Miller Band hits as the Amazing Amaretto’s come from behind the curtain with their lovely assistant!
The fans in the Gund Arena boo loudly at the pair of magic men.
Robbins: Ladies and Gentlemen, the next matchup is a Tag Team Match and is for… THE CLASSIC WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS!
The fans cheer loudly for the stakes. The camera cuts to the crowd where Surf Express Bro sit in the front row.
Moss: We’ve seen both these teams in tag team action, in fact both had to fight for the right to be here.
Howley: I’m sure they got no sleep till Cleveland too!
Moss: …And now one team is going to walk out of here with Tag Team Gold!
The Amarettos walk down the aisle, arm in arm, with their free arms outstretched. As the fans try to high five them, they move their hands to miss all the slaps. Finally as they approach the ring, their assistant goes to climb the steps, they softly push her out of the way so they can enter first.
The sounds of “You’re the Best” by Joe Esposito hit the arena, and the fans mood changes instantly. So does the mood of the Amarettos.
Back at the entrance way we see BDSM come through the curtain with smiles on their faces, waving to the crowd. Larry has a bit more confidence than last week.
Moss: A brand new tag team here in Classic Wrestling! These guys were given a chance last time out on Classic Wrestling on RBTV, and they proved themselves, earning a shot at this match tonight.
The pair make their way to the ring, actually high fiving the fans. As they enter the ring, Harrold Robbins begins introductions.
Robbins: Introducing first, coming to the ring currently, at a total combined weight of 722 Lbs. The team of Lunchbox Larry, and Bobby Dean this is BDSM!
The fans cheer loudly as Bobby Dean finally makes his way through the ropes and wipes his brow.
Robbins: Their opponents… weighing in at a combined 480 lbs. The Team of Carlo and Gomez Amaretto! THE AMAZING AMARETTOS!
As Robbins exits the ring we hear referee Felipe Chicoda call for the bell.
Moss: Looks like we’re going to see Lunchbox Larry vs Carlo to start the match!
Howley: Why doesn’t the big guy ever start the match?
Moss: I guess because he’s trying to help Larry get some experience. You can’t gain experience sitting on the ring apron Thunderbird!
Howley: I don’t know how you earn a check that way either!
Nonetheless our two competitors meet in the center of the ring. They lockup, as Larry clearly has the strength advantage, he pushes Carlo into the ropes where the referee calls for a clean break. Larry puts his hands up in the air, breaking the hold and backing off slowly. Carlo puts his arms up in the air too, only to stomp down on the foot of Lunchbox Larry. As Larry lifts his foot in pain, Carlo kicks the other one out from under him.
Howley: Now that’s a veteran move Moss, Lunchbox wasn’t quite ready for that one!
Carlo grabs the stomped foot now that Larry’s on the ground and immediately puts some stomps into the leg for good measure.
Moss: The Amarettos know they don’t have the size advantage so they are clearly targeting the thick limbs of Larry!
He drops an elbow down on him before standing up to pose and bow for the fans. The fans boo in response. Outside their lovely assistant claps for them for a second or two. Carlo is quick to tag in Gomez who goes to the second rope right away. As Larry starts to stand up Gomez comes off with a double ax handle smash on the back of the neck of Larry that sends him sprawling once again.
With a quick bow he motions to the crowd. They do not receive him warmly. On the opposite side of the ring Bobby Dean tries to will his tag team partner on.
Gomez Amaretto yells something out to his lovely assistant and then backs Larry against the ropes. He throws a knife edge chop that echos of the chest of the large wrestler. Gomez looks back at his assistant and winks. She rolls her eyes and looks away in disgust. Gomez shoots Larry off the ropes but he’s able to reverse the irish whip. Not fully paying attention, their lovely assistant reaches in and trips the legs of her own man accidentally.
Moss: Woah! Gomez goes face first there!
Howley: I bet he wants to make her disappear right now!
Gomez stumbles back to his feet holding his nose. Larry is able to finally take advantage with a couple of short arm shoulder blocks, he then picks up Gomez and body slams him tothe mat. The fans get excited as Larry comes roaring back!
Lunchbox grabs Gomez by the hair and pulls him to his own corner. He makes the tag to Bobby Dean.
Moss: “Beautiful” Bobby Dean now getting his first Classic Wrestling action, as he steps in.
Howley: A veteran of the game Moss, Bobby Dean has been around for a number of years. There’s a lot Larry could learn from this guy!
Bobby Dean enters. He puts his hands up, ready to strike. With a big ear clap he sends Gomez stumbling again. He walks over as Gomez turns back around to face him, and Bobby Dean plans a firm elbow right between the eyes, and Gomez goes down!
On the outside Lunchbox is catching his breath, and holding the rope for balance. He’s surprised by the slap on his hand.
Moss: And Bobby Dean tags right back out!
Dean wipes his brow and steps through the ropes to the apron. Larry just stares incredulously. Bobby slaps him on the butt and tells him to “Go ahead Champ!”
Larry gets back in but he’s quickly attacked by Carlo who has since tagged in on the other side of the ring. Carlo is able to get the advantage and lock in a side headlock. He tries to squat low on it so Larry can’t get the advantage but Larry’s strength wins out as he powers up Carlo and drops him with a big back suplex.
Both men race to their feet Carlo a little slower. Larry goes for a big boot but misses slightly. Carlo cracks Larry in the face with a punch that staggers him. Larry ducks the second punch and reels back for a huge clothesline!
Carlo Amaretto: WAIT!
With both hands out, the Magician yells. Larry actually stops to see what’s coming.
Moss: What’s this?
Amaretto reaches into his suit and pulls out a handful of cards. He fans them out away from Lunchbox.
Carlo: Pick a card! Any card!
The fans cheer, excited for the trick. Larry sheepishly looks back at Bobby Dean whos so excited for the trick, he’s bouncing back and forth.
Bobby Dean: PICK THE MIDDLE CARD! I hope it’s the Queen!
Larry shrugs, looks back at Amaretto. Suddenly with blazing speed Larry reels back and delivers the clothesline instead. The cards go flying and Carlo folds over inside the ring. The fans laugh loudly
Howley: SMART MOVE!
Larry runs and elbows Gomez off the apron and goes for the pin.
The fans erupt as Bobby Dean falls through the ropes and into the ring. He’s quickly back to his feet adjusting his waistband. He bumbles over and hugs Larry, trapping his arms and lifting him up!
Filipe Chcoda grabs the brand new Classic Wrestling Tag Team Championship belts and goes to hand them to BDSM. Bobby Dean cuts in at the last second and accepts both championships. He tosses one over each shoulder. Larry is smiling but you can tell he’s a little jealous he doesn’t get to hold one.
Robbins: Ladies and Gentlemen, Your winner, and NEWWWWW CLASSIC WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! BOBBY DEAN AND SOME MAN!
They celebrate while their music plays.
Moss: What a turn of events, a tag team that just debuted on the last episode of Classic on RBTV, has upset the field, and won the Tag Team Championships!
Howley: It’s not about where you’re ranked Moss, it’s about taking care of business when given an opportunity and that’s what these two have done!
Backstage At SLAM-A-THON!
Backstage we once again see the Host of Classic Wrestling, Otto Price, he’s currently playing tic tac toe with Hello World, the friendly robot of Dash Dackson. Dash stands by looking on for tips on how to beat H Dub. Otto finally realizes that the camera is on, and breaks away from the game.
Price: Hello ladies and gents, welcome back here at the podium backstage. Once again I’m joined by my one night only cohost Dash Dackson! Dash we have a brand new set of Tag Team Champions in BDSM! What do you think of that?
Dash stares at Otto for a second, careful to answer the questions appropriately.
Dackson: Are you asking me what I think of BDSM?
Otto nods eagerly.
Price: Absolutely it looks like they’re here to dominate the tag team scene now that they’ve been crowned the best around!
Dash looks at H Dub but he’s no help in this case.
Dackson: Well I ugh…. I think that’s a private matter. One I don’t know if we should be discussing here on Television!
Otto looks confused, Hello World offers up an encouraging word.
Hello World: It’s Ok Dash, this is not television, this is pay per view. Anything goes!
He glances up at the camera nervously.
Dackson: I didn’t know there was a safe word, it was my first time!
He covers his face in embarrassment.
Price: What are you..
Dackson: No you said… What do you mean?
They both stare at each other. H Dub rolls up inbetween them.
Hello World: Bobby Dean and Some Man are the new Tag Team Champions of Classic Wrestling!
Dash realizes his mistake.
Dackson: …And fine competitors they are! I’m excited to someday lock horns with the new tag team champions! Back to you guys at ringside!
Johnny Saint Nelson vs Double Decker
“Waiting on the Bus” by ZZ Top hits the PA system and the fans in the stands start motioning that their honking their horns!
Moss: Big matchup and a big wrestler here Thunderbird as we see everybody’s favorite bus!
Howley: He’s big alright! I think if he’s take this a bit more serious he could be a big contender!
Moss: The Bus has left the station Thunderbird!
an audible sigh from Howley as he indeed comes through the curtain.
Robbins: This next match is scheduled for one fall and has a 20 minute time limit! Coming to the ring first. From “The Downtown Route” This is DOUBLE DECKER!
The fans are all on their feet now, excited as he dances along, honking his own horn on the way to the ring. He makes his way to his own corner as the music changes.
“Personal Jesus” by Depeche Mode comes on and out strolls the self proclaimed Saint of Classic Wrestling.
Robbins: And his opponent, hailing from right here in Cleveland, Ohio… Johnny Saint Nelson!
He saunters out to the ring counting the sinners along the way. There are many of them than you or I would think. JSN tells a couple to give Hail JSN’s tonight.
There is a buzz of anticipation circling through the capacity crowd as the referee moves in to check both men. Double Decker is too busy looking into the crowd, locking eyes with the fans and getting them to HOOOOOOOONK back at him. The ref moves to check Nelson, but Johnny has a complicated relationship with Classic referees, so the holy man shows the striped shirt away. Shrugging, the ref signals for the bell.
DING DING DING!!!
Moss: The holy man vs. a Classic competitor that has gained somewhat of an underground cult following. Both men meet in the center of the ring… wait is Nelson doing?
Howley: It would appear he’s giving The Bus his last rites, Moss. Or would it be last “rides”?
Decker watches quizzically as Nelson moves his hands to save Decker’s mortal soul… and the second “The Saint” finishes, Decker nails a big right hand to the mush!
Moss: And Nelson is down… and rolling out of the ring already.
Howley: The man was cheap shotted, Moss. That’s cause to put the brakes on and reset.
Nelson makes his way around the ringside area, holding his jaw. Double Decker takes the chance to pump his fist up and down and start a “HOOOOONK” chant among the fans. The ref begins a ten count, and just at the count of nine, Johnny Saint Nelson jumps up to the apron. Nelson demands the ref get Double Decker back before he dares step into the ring to resume the contest. Taking advantage of the ref and Decker’s conversation, Nelson suddenly rushes the big man… but he gets caught and LIFTED in a choke lift! Nelson’s legs kick frantically as the ref now admonishes Decker, giving him a five count to release the hold. Instead of dropping Nelson, Decker instead launches him clear across the ring! JSN hits the mat, rolls… and again ducks out under the bottom rope to the ringside floor!
Moss: And this time… JSN seems ready to call it quits!
Nelson makes a “forget this” motion as he turns to head to the back, ignoring the beginning of the ref’s ten count. In the ring, Double Decker looks to the fans and makes a big show of doing the classic “chicken” pantomime. The fans quickly catch on and before you know it, Classic Arena is full of chicken noises! Nelson turns, looks around to see what’s happening, turns red in absolute anger… and runs back into the ring just before the ten count is up!
Moss: JSN back into the ring – unloading on Decker with right hands…
Howley: They’re having zero effect!The Bus watches Nelson’s poor attempts at punches quizzically. JSN rebounds off the ropes, looking for a clothesline… no effect at all. Another… same result. When JSN bounces off the ropes a third time, he runs into a big boot! Decker HOOOOOOONKS before dropping a leg and making the cover!!
Howley: JSN’s foot is on the ropes, Moss! That’s called using your brain!
JSN begs off, throwing his hands up and backing into the corner while Decker advances on him. Just as Decker goes to grab him, the man of God rakes the eyes! The ref scolds him but JSN pays him no mind, instead shooting off the ropes and targeting Decker’s knee with a chop block. Another! Another! A fourth FINALLY brings Decker down to a single knee.
Moss: Decker is down on one knee… and JSN is behind him, looking to lock in The Prayer!
Howley: This is it! Nobody gets out of that Full-Nelson.
The fans begin to boo as JSN hooks his arms under Decker’s shoulders… but those boos turn to cheers as Decker clenches his face, shakes his head “NO!”, and locks his arms, preventing Nelson from locking his fingers! The crowd motivates Decker with a “HONK” chant as he is able to get back to both feet, still blocking the determined JSN from locking in his finish. Grunting, Decker is able to throw himself backwards (with Nelson still on his back) into the corner!
Moss: Nelson is crumpled in the corner… and Double Decker is feeling ready for the big splash!
Decker takes position in the opposite corner, pumping his arm and HONKing his heart out. He measures JSN… and he runs…
Howley: NO! Nelson moves at the last second and Decker eats turnbuckle!
Decker stumbles out of the corner and the crafty JSN takes position underneath him, grabbing his knees and trying to pull him down in a sunset flip… but Decker doesn’t go down! Nelson pulls, Decker waves his arms to try to right himself… this goes on for thirty seconds until finally Decker gets solid footing. Decker looks down… and then drops down butt-first to squash The Saint once and for all…
Moss: Nelson got out of the way at the last second!
Decker is sitting, holding his butt in pain after the missed drop. Nelson desperately rebounds off the ropes and flies at Decker, catching him SQUARE in the head with a knee that finally drops The Big Bus to the mat. Nelson covers..
The bell rings and JSN rolls out of the ring with his arms in the air. He can’t even believe he pulled this one off based on his expression.
Robbins: Ladies and Gentlemen your winner by pinfall! “The Saint” Johnny Saint Nelson!
Inside the ring the bus is making his way to his feet.
Moss: The Bus had the his brakeline cut there, as he couldn’t stop in time! Slamming into the turnbuckle, before eating the big knee!
Patrick Moss calls it as the replay shows it on the screen. The fans are not happy.
Howley: The Saint has been my spiritual advisor as of late, so I’m glad to see him pick up the win!
Moss: You’re taking advice from this guy?
Howley: Yea who else? Freddie Kilgore? Get outta here!
The Gund Metropolis
We cut to the backstage area where Serena Reyes is standing by with none other than “Metro” Vito Valentino. To say he is conspicuous by his new attire would be a gross understatement; white boots, hot pink wrestling tights with a black, checkered stripe going down the sides, a large dark blue jacket with the word “METRO” going down the back in a white cursive font.
He’s dressed to impress.
He’s in the moment.
He’s jumping in place, loosening up for the biggest match of his Classic Wrestling career thus far.
It’s SLAM-A-THON, baby.
Serena Reyes: Ladies and gentlemen, we are here with Vito Valentino, who is mere moments away from one of the biggest matches in Classic Wrestling’s brief but storied history: the Six-Man Over The Top Rope Battle Royal!
Pausing, she switches her attention from the camera and faces Vito.
Serena Reyes: Vito, the match you’re in has garnered a LOT of hype and publicity over the last several weeks. Action figures are flying off the shelves, the Dow has seen a bullish upwards tick, and for whatever reason Moms everywhere have stocked up on toilet paper. With the level of excitement in the air, what are your final thoughts before competing for the brand new Premier American Chanpionship?
Vito stops jumping in place and turns around to face the camera. Wearing a new, customized pair of Aviators with blue and pink sparkling rims with the letters “C” and “W” on each lens, he leans in and speaks.
METRO: Tonight is the night of all nights! The Classic Arena is the site of all sites! And SLAM-A-THON? Well it’s the show of all shows, sister! WE… are on the cusp of greatness.
Metro pauses and respectfully takes the microphone from Reyes.
METRO: Please. Allow me, Serena.
His eyes narrow, nostrils flare, and the veins in his neck pulsate with pure adrenaline.
METRO: SHUJIN. You want respect, you mouth-breathing malcontent? Then you gon’ EARN it, knucklehead. ‘Cause so far? All anyone’s heard you do through all your fancy words and mouth turds is complain, complain, COMPLAIN. Waaaaaaaah there ain’t a soul in the C-Dubya who respects this mountain of a man that just towers over us, casting his shadow on everything under the lights of SLAM-A-THON! Waaaaaaaaaah! MARONE!
Vito chuckles before continuing. Somewhere in the Antarctic, the echoes of Shujin’s cries can still be heard.
METRO: If you can lift your head outta your bowl of gravy-covered cliches for a sec, I’m here to tell you… sweat and piss aren’t the only things every man in that ring are gonna beat outta you once you step inside it!. And when we’re all satisfied doin’ THAT, baby? We’re gonna dump you outta that ring onto your sorry keister and watch Less-Than-Honest-Abe over continue to huff the noxious gas and hot air that emits from that stupid, vapid mouth of ole Mt. Yama!
Vito slaps his hands together.
METRO: And when we’re all done working together to remove who is no doubt the biggest threat in this match? We’re gonna have the time of our lives wrestlin’ each other over those top ropes. FOR THE PREMIER… AMERICAN… CHAMPIONSHIP. Let me say that again. For the PREMIER… AMERICAN… CHAMPIONSHIP. Y’know, in case some of you might’ve lost focus on that.
Vito gets up close and personal with the camera, momentarily pointing to the goosebumps on his arm.
METRO: Rest of us? Anybody’s game, honestly.. Carlos and I might team up on Randall just to get that dork outta there. Or heck, we just might throw our friendship aside and try to eliminate one another. Freddy and Jackie? I like the idea of facin’ off with each of them, too. They seem like bad motha-
Vito stops himself from committing a huge no-no live on Pay-Per-View. Thinking of all those precious kids who sent their artwork over to MECCA for him to see, he continues.
METRO: …. uh, bad mamma-jammas.. Yeah. Let’s go with that! Point is? When the dust settles and SLAM-A-THON is in the rearview? There ain’t a mountain nor man that can stop me from becoming the… PREMIER… AMERICAN… CHAMPION. If you got the chips? I suggest you BET on that, baby.
He holds out his arm.
His fingers begin to slip from around the black microphone handle.
METRO: … to the METROpolis.
The microphone finally slips out of his hand, falling to the cement floor. Just as he drops the mic, we move forward with the Pay-Per-View by cutting back to the commentary team.
6 Man Over The Top Rope Battle Royal for the Premier American Title
All six contenders mill around inside the ring, keeping just enough distance between each other so that a fight doesn’t break out before this Battle Royal. The referees assigned to this affair are stationed outside of the ring, their only job here is to call eliminations. Harold Robbins steps to the center of the ring, microphone in hand.
Robbins: The following contest is a BATTLE ROYAL! Elimination will occur when a wrestler is ejected from the ring over the top ropes and both of their feet touch the ground below! The match will continue until there is one man left standing, and that man will be named the inaugural Classic Wrestling Premier American Champion!
Robbins: Introducing the competitors… Carlos Ruiz! Freddy Kilgore! Jack Fargo! Randall Schwartz! Shujin Yama! And Vito Valentino!
Howley: Have I said how silly Valentino looks in the getup and that facepaint?
Moss: The fans here in Cleveland sure seem to approve!
Robbins: Gentlemen… Let’s get ready to BAAAAAAAATTLE!!!
The Ring Announcer scurries from the ring at the last possible moment before one of the referees calls for the bell!
DING! DING!! DING!!!
Moss: Here we go!
Howley: My money’s on Shujin Yama, Moss, who ya got?
Moss: You know, I think Jack Fargo-
The overzealous young bronze medalist charges in at Yama. Moving quicker than any sumo has a right to move, Shujin easily intercepts Fargo and launches him up and over the top ropes where he then goes tumbling hard to the floor.
Moss: -is not gonna be my pick.
Howley: Ha! I see what you did there, Moss! So long, Fargo, thanks for coming!
Robbins: Jack Fargo has been eliminated!
Moss: Maybe I’ll take Vito Valentino! He looks like he’s ready to go to war!
Howley: Looks to me like he got into Kilgore’s fingerpaints!
At ringside Sensei Abe Lincoln cackles with glee as Fargo gets to his feet and starts his walk of shame. Inside the ring, the four men left not named Shujin Yama share a knowing glance, coming to a silent consensus to band together to take out the biggest threat first.
Moss: Looks like your pick might be out next, Thunderbird!
Howley: Show’s what you know.
Kilgore, Metro, Ruiz, and Schwartz begin to circle the sumo. Yama laughs heartily and beckons them on, eager to meet the challenge. On some silent cue, all four men spring into motion! Kilgore goes high, unleashing a mighty clubbing forearm on Yama. At the same time, Ruiz goes low with a basement dropkick that staggers Yama. Metro steps in and starts unloading body shots to the ample midsection of the sumo, who takes it all with savage determination! Randall Schwartz feigns an assisting attack only to hold his ground and grin like an idiot, tapping the side of his head as if he’s the smartest man in the universe.
Moss: Yama’s taking a lot of shots, Joel!
Howley: All part of the plan, Moss, you just wait.
As the trio of wrestlers press the attack on the sumo, Randall Schwartz leans back in the far corner, making a big show of how he’s got time to kick back and put his feet up while his lessers take care of the light work at hand. The only problem with his plan is that said light work is a massive grappler with incredible strength, and just as his attackers begin to smother him he pushes back with all of his might and sends all three men sprawling backward.
Howley: HAHA! Told ya!
The Entertainer gets a chuckle at the expense of Metro, Ruiz, and Kilgore. That is until the three of them regain their feet and take notice of Schwartz’s mockery and machinations. Kilgore reaches out and grabs Schwartz from his perch on the turnbuckle and hurls him into a stunning Superkick from Carlos Ruiz that crosses Schwartz’s eyes and sends him stumbling into the waiting grasp of Vito Valentino who drops him hard with the Brooklyn Backbreaker!
Moss: Looks like Randall Schwartz is catching a stiff case of KARMA!
Howley: Looks like to me he’s catching a world-class butt-whuppin’!
Yama watches on from across the ring as Kilgore loudly directs Metro and Ruiz to pick Schwartz up. They do, and Kilgore takes off like a shot, obliterating Schwartz with a running big boot that sends Schwartz up and over the top rope! He bounces on the apron hard and falls to the floor, rolling back first into the ringside guardrails.
Moss: The Call of the Wild! He got all of that one!
Robbins: Randall Schwartz has been eliminated!
Howley: Look at that, Moss! We’re barely two minutes in and two guys are already gone!
Moss: That just goes to show you the unpredictability of this kind of match!
Yama charges, catching everyone by surprise with a big splash in the corner that squashes Ruiz and Metro! Kilgore only managed to escape the sumo’s wrath by sheer force of momentum after kicking Randall Schwartz into orbit. Metro staggers out of the corner into the waiting hands of Yama who grabs him, pops his hips, and crushes Vito with a beautifully applied side belly-to-belly suplex!
Howley: See Moss, pure Yama domination! Or as I like to call it: YAMANATION!
Kilgore, feeling the spirit of the wild, makes his move before Yama has time to turn on him first. He throws a double-axehandle across Yama’s back that stuns the giant sumo and then peppers in a couple of boots before grabbing him by the topknot and dragging him up to his feet. Kilgore, almost hyperventilating, takes off in a maniacal circle, lifting both arms to signify that he’s either about to raise the roof or bodyslam the big man!
Moss: He’s gonna bodyslam Yama!
Howley: HA! He does and I’ll eat a shoe.
Papa Wild Thing grabs Yama and lifts…
Moss: He’s giving it all he’s got!
…but the Sumo Mountain doesn’t so much as budge.
Howley: TOLD YA SO!
Kilgore redoubles his efforts and tries again but Yama shrugs him off. Kilgore grabs at his aching lower back before walking right into Yama’s mighty grasp! He’s lifted up and over with a beautiful Samoan Drop that flattens the Wild Stallion! In the meantime, it looks like Carlos Ruiz has gotten himself up and back into the action, as he perched high on the top turnbuckle!
Moss: Hey wait a minute, what’s Ruiz doing?
Howley: Taking stupid risks is what it looks like!
Ruiz flies with grace and slams both feet square into the chest of Yama! The big man is once again staggered, but doesn’t yet drop to the mat! Ruiz is up again on the opposite turnbuckle! He’s called the attention of Freddy Kilgore over to him and Kilgore immediately knows what the plan is!
Moss: They’re planning something big, T-bird!
Howley: It’s a conspiracy against Yama!
Moss: Oh, get off the cross! We need the wood.
Yama shakes it off and turns around to continue the fight, only for a flying Carlos Ruiz to come rocketing into him!
Moss: FREDDY KILGORE JUST THREW CARLOS RUIZ AT YAMA!
Strong as he is, there’s no catching a 200lb man after he’s been launched off the top rope by a guy with the strength of a Freddy Kilgore! However, Yama knows momentum when he’s presented with it and he manages to get Ruiz over the top rope before slumping back into the corner himself!
Howley: Ruiz is out!
Moss: No he’s not! He’s still on the apron!
Vito Valentino has watched all of this happen. He makes a move and charges into the corner and crushes Yama with a nasty clothesline! From the apron, Ruiz hops up and pops Yama on the back of the head with an enzugiri! Yama is staggered again! Ruiz climbs the turnbuckle one more time and Vito makes a command decision…
Howley: HA! VALENTINO PUSHED HIM OFF!
He did. Ruiz barely made it to the top before Metro shoved him off and down to the floor!
Robbins: Carloz Ruiz has been eliminated!
Moss: And then there were three!
The three men left in the ring all take a moment to catch their breath and take in the situation. Kilgore and Valentino end up on one side, with Yama grinning on shouting at them from the other. Valentino and Kilgore have a quick pow-wow, something about being “brothers in paint” and wild spirits combining with metropolitan heart. It’s all very hilarious to Yama. That is until he gets real serious, real fast.
Howley: Look at my guy Yama! He’s about to crush these two painted-up freaks like bugs!
Moss: He certainly seems intent on doing exactly that!
Shujin Yama crouches and grins a mile-wide grin, and slaps his belt hard before yelling out in Japanese at Kilgore and Valentino. Neither of them seems to have a clue what’s going on. Yama claps his hands then raises his right leg as high as possible and stomps the mat, shaking the ring, then repeats the process with his left. Yama’s girth and power rattle the entire ringside area before he crouches down into the deepest flat-backed stance that either of his opponents had ever seen.
Howley: It’s on now, Moss!
Yama charges in and starts battering both men! He pushes them back against the ropes with a series of palm strikes and sheer size and power and quickly has both men in a compromising position! It doesn’t last though as Kilgore and Valentino are both big hosses themselves and they both can take some punishment! Before long the two of them fight back and push Yama back into the ropes! Metro grabs a massive leg and lifts it up in an attempt to get some leverage on the sumo while Kilgore lands blow after teeth-chattering blow to Yama’s head!
Moss: Uh-oh! They’ve got Shujin reeling!
Howley: This is a hate crime, Moss! It’s not fair to Yama!
Yama manages to grab Kilgore by the hair and give him a massive headbutt! It drives the wild man back a step and Yama goes to work on Metro with a giant clubbing blow over the shoulders that drops him to his knees. Yama gets both feet back on the ground, sucks in some air, and is just about to try and lift Valentino up when he eats a savage running boot from the recovered Freddy Kilgore!
Moss: CAAAAALL OF THE WIIIIIILD!
Vito Valentino redoubles his efforts with Yama’s leg, this time getting it up and over the top rope! Kilgore sees the opening and charges in, adding his power to Metro’s leverage and Yama is quickly unbalanced and teetering! He struggles to wrap his arms and legs up in the ropes, anything to keep himself from elimination!
Howley: Where’s Abe Lincoln? DOOOO SOMETHING!
But there’s nothing to be done.
Freddy Kilgore roars, he drops his shoulders and gets under Yama’s girth to add to Valentino’s leverage, and he lifts with everything that he’s got! Yama goes over the top rope but he hangs onto Vito Valentino for everything he’s worth!
Moss: Yama’s going over!
Howley: So is Valentino!
Kilgore digs in and gives one final shove.
The sumo loses his grip on the ropes and falls. He lands hard on the floor.
Robbins: Shujin Yama has been eliminated!
Vito Valentino lands right on top of Yama, knocking the air out of the big man for the second time in as many seconds! Metro tries valiantly to hold his balance but one mighty shift of Yama’s girth puts Vito on the floor right beside the big sumo.
Moss: FREDDY KILGORE HAS DONE IT!
Robbins: Vito Valentino has been eliminated!
Howley: NO! ANYBODY BUT KILGORE!
Robbins: Your winner… and NEEEEEEEEEEEW PREMIER AMERICAN CHAMPION…
Robbins: FERAL! FREDDY! KIIIIIIIIIILGOOOOOOOOOORE!!!
At ringside Sensei Abe Lincoln is beside himself. Vito Valentino rolls away from Yama and sits, dejected, with his back against the guardrail. Shujin Yama is absolutely apoplectic.
Moss: Papa Wild Thing has done it! He’s beaten the odds and become the champion!
Howley: Blah, blah, blah, Shujin Yama should have won and you know it!
Out from the back is Rush Starling! He makes his way down the aisle, giving the enraged Shujin Yama a wide berth as he trots down to ringside. He kneels beside Valentino and gives him a quick word of encouragement before sliding into the ring. Referee Kevin Klady has retrieved the Premier American title belt from the timekeeper’s table and is just about to enter the ring with it when Rush Starling plucks it out of his hands.
Moss: Look at this!
Howley: He’s gonna blast him with the belt!
Moss: Oh be quiet! He is not!
Starling turns around and presents the belt to its rightful owner. Kilgore takes it and raises it high in the air for all the Little Wild Things big and small to share in the victory with him! Starling shakes his hand and Kilgore pulls him in for a very manly bro-hug before Rush raises Kilgore’s other hand and points at his friend.
And the crowd goes bananas.
Howley: What a disgusting display!
Moss: Get in the bin, Howley, you’re witnessing an outstanding display of sportsmanship, with one world-class wrestler congratulating another on his hard-earned success!
Howley: Bah humbug!
Backstage At SLAM A THON Pt 2
We cut backstage where Otto Price, Dash Dackson, & Hello World are standing by. All three men… Well two men, and one robot… are behind the podium staring at the camera.
Price: WOW! What a match and What a finish! Freddy Kilgore just pulled off the big one, becoming the inaugural Classic Wrestling Premier American Champion! What do you say Dash?
Dackson: Big time action, and a big winner in Freddy Kilgore! He’s been tearing it up in Classic Wrestling since day one and I’m excited to see where he takes the title from here!
Price: Well I hope he doesn’t take it to the jungle and lose it, but that’s a story for another time! We’re two champions down, and one to go. We’ve still got out big REAL WORLDS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH coming tonight!
Dackson: That’s right Otto, Rush Starling vs All Business Alex Bruder! I got a good feeling that this one is going to defy expectations!
Price: It’s a huge matchup and the end to a very large tournament! One of those two men are going to forge a new path for Classic Wrestling, will it be All Business, or will it be Rush Starling? We’re going to find out! That’s not all folks, we’ve still got another big matchup coming up next! Lord Colossus and King Kong Frank are ready to lock horns!
Dackson: Since day one those two haven’t liked each other and it all comes to a head tonight when they meet but that’s not all Otto, Gordy Lovett is going to be the special ring enforcer for that one. I have no idea how even that Wild Texan, Gordy Lovett, can keep those two men contained!
Voice: Woah woah woah, what is this? What is this lowlife doing out here on my Television show?
Walking in from off stage is “Flawless” Freddy Chedda. He walks up to the podium, looks at Dash and then at H Dub before chuckling. He talks to Otto.
Chedda: You have a bonafide star sitting in your dressing room in the form of Freddy Chedda! Do I have a match at SLAM A THON? No! Do I have an interview at SLAM A THON? No! Do I have a job cohosting the show with you, you little twerp? NO!
he pokes Otto in the chest. Price grimaces at the contact.
Chedda: You know what Otto, I’m tired of sitting in the back, shutting up, and waiting my turn. No, not anymore. My turn is now, because I’m TAKING IT!
He pulls the mic from Otto Price. Dash steps forward.
Chedda: What are you and Johnny Five going to do about it?
Dash bows out his chest, looks at H Dub who appears saddened by the insult.
Dackson: Oh yeah? You want a match so bad? Why don’t you fight ME at the next Classic Wrestling TV on RBTV?
Chedda: You want to fight ME? FLAWLESS FREDDY CHEDDA!? Are you insane? You know what…. You got it! I’ll need a warm up before I go after one of these new champions…
Chedda tosses the mic back at Otto and stands with his arms out, challenging Dackson to make his move. Dash checks on Otto, and Freddy Chedda walks off laughing.
Hello World: That’s a bad man!
Price: Back…Back to you guys!
King Kong Frank vs Lord Colossus Special Ring Enforcer: Gordy Lovett
Howley: It’s about to get big and beefy in here, Moss!
Moss: Classic Wrestling: Where Big Beef Slappers Slap Big Beef!
Howley: Are you shootin’ a commercial on me, Moss?
Moss: I just call what I see, Thunderbird, you ought to know that by now…
The lights in the Gund Arena drop suddenly and the air goes out of the room. A hushed murmur grows rapidly into an anticipatory rumble from the Classic Connoisseurs in attendance this evening until the prefabricated sound of thunder claps through the P.A. system, accompanied by a simple but effective strobe effect in the lighting.
Howley: Hey! Who turned out the lights?
#Ace of Spades#
As the music begins to crescendo a single spotlight settles at the head of the loosely defined entranceway where Walt Whezl stands at the center of a swirling cloud of smoke, a visage of evil with his face painted into a ghostly black and white skull flecked at the temples with unsettling upside-down crosses. He carries his trademark black umbrella with its ornately carved Huginn/Muninn handle on full display and has a ¾ length black and red cape flowing maliciously over his bony shoulders and down his crooked back.
Moss: Could this guy get any creepier?
Howley: That’s a hard no, Moss.
Full of gusto and as much theatrical flair as he can muster, Walt throws the cape up over his right shoulder to produce an evil microphone complete with spikes and miniature skulls adorned to it for full effect. Walt bares his teeth and hisses into the microphone.
Whezl: Ladies and gentlemen… and I use those terms loosely… you are on the precipice of exposure to the mighty presence of the most fearsome force of nature yet to step foot into a Classic Wrestling ring! Know your places, fall to your knees, and bow your unworthy little heads as I present to you…
The billowing smoke parts like the Red Sea as the Monolith of Malevolence emerges through a black curtain in full battle regalia. With cold, dead eyes barely hidden by his black mask, the Walking Calamity stalks down the aisle and stops in front of Walt Whezl. Whezl averts his eyes immediately and bows as low as his spindly frame can support.
Whezl: The Master of Atrocity…
The music fades as the spotlight does its best to illuminate the looming monster.
Whezl: The Primarch of Depravity…
Thunder is once again accompanied by lightning.
Whezl: LOOOOOOORD COLOSSUUUUUUUUUUUUU-EEEEEEEK!!!
Walt shrieks like a scared little girl and dives out of the way, lucky to not be crushed by the stumbling Lord Colossus who now wears what’s left of a steel chair haphazardly around his neck! Standing just behind Colossus, who has gone down to one knee momentarily, is the wide-eyed Smoky Mountain Mastodon, King Kong Frank!
Frank: HOOOOOOOOOOOO-AHH! HUSS! HUSS!
Frank, armed with the element of surprise and a length of steel chain, plods over to where Walt Whezl is cowering in fear. Behind Frank, the momentarily felled Colossus unwraps the chair from around his head and pries his gauntlets off one by one before pulling off the spiked leather straps that cross his chest.
Howley: King Kong Frank is a maniac, Moss!
Moss: I think we can agree on that!
Howley: And now he’s stalking Walt Whezl like a cartoon bear after a picnic basket!
Frank wraps his chain around the throat of Walt Whezl and lifts him with one mighty hand! He bellows unintelligibly in Walt’s face before launching the diminutive manager into the crowd and out of his sight! The fans scatter, wholly unwilling to help Whezl even accidentally!
Moss: We need some security out here before somebody gets hurt!
Howley: He can’t put his hands on Walt Whezl like that!
Moss: Our independent panel of experts has concluded that Frank not only can but already has put his hands on Walt! Maybe that weasel shouldn’t insert himself into situations like this where he can’t possibly defend himself…
Howley: Where’s Gordy Lovett? Somebody get Doris on the phone!
As if on cue Lovett comes rambling out from the entrance curtain with Doris Hilton hot on his heels, chastising him for his tardiness to the event at hand. Gordy’s wearing a cut-off striped referee shirt under a leather vest and his usual black trunks and cowboy boots and he’s the most ridiculous-looking referee that you ever have seen!
Moss: Speak of the devil and he will appear?
Howley: Really, Moss? Lord Colossus is out here and you’re calling Gordy the devil?
Moss: It’s a figure of speech, Joel.
Before Gordy can get into the fray Lord Colossus, now fully recovered, is up and roaring at Frank as he grabs him bodily and sends him flying in the opposite direction that Frank tossed Walt. Colossus follows Frank into the crowd and a swirling ring of humanity opens up around the two mega-sized combatants as they jockey to gain control amidst the chaos.
Howley: I hope our insurance is paid up…
As the mass of humanity surges around the two behemoths Frank launches himself at Colossus, leading with a dirty bare foot! He connects flush on what would be a colossal chin if it weren’t for that black studded mask! The Lord doesn’t go down, though, only back into the writhing wall of flesh behind him.
Moss: I don’t know if kicking Lord Colossus in the face is the best way to go about this…
Howley: What would you know about the best way to do anything inside that ring, Moss? You lace ‘em up one day when was too busy clangin’ and bangin’ at the gym to pay attention?
Moss: You know very well that I didn’t.
Howley: Yeah, I just wanted to hear you say it!
Gordy Lovett barges into the space between Frank and Colossus and takes a quick survey of the situation. Somewhere behind him, lost in the crowd, Doris Hilton shrieks directions at her rambling Texan charge.
Gordy: GIT BACK!
The Cowpuncher spits chaw in every direction as he barks orders at the fans.
Gordy: I SAID GYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!
A wider ring opens up around them and Colossus catches his feet and retaliates with an authoritarian double overhand chop that would crush the collarbones and ribcage of any normal man if he were to hit them with the fury and velocity that he just hit King Kong Frank! The Hillbilly Hero flails backward and into a trio of college-aged men all draped in Classic swag. They go down like bowling pins and Frank hits the deck, rolling through the next several rows of fans. Colossus presses the assault as Gordy Lovett makes a valiant attempt at crowd control and the actual match referee makes his first appearance and begins pleading with anybody to get the action out into the ring!
Moss: Gordy Lovett and Chip Newman are doing their best to get this match under control, Thunderbird, but it’s not looking like either man wants to take this fight into the ring!
Howley: And why should they? Once that bell rings they gotta abide by the rules! It’s more fun to beat a guy up without some pencil-necked geek yelling and ringin’ bells in your ear telling ya that ya gotta stop or that you lost, even if you’re kicking the guy’s butt!
Moss: This is supposed to be a sport!
Howley: Ha! We’re gonna see a bonafide grappling clinic later in the Main Event, Moss, that much you can better believe! But these two guys? They ain’t gonna stop until one of ‘em can’t get back up and throw another bomb!
Lord Colossus catches up to Frank and grabs him by the back of the head. Fans bail as Colossus heads toward the ring with Frank, stopping only once they’d made it through a sea of abandoned chairs and scattered concessions to the guardrail. Frank goes flying over the rail like some kind of a light-heavyweight by the hand of the raging Lord Colossus.
Moss: Maybe now we can get this thing in the ring!
Frank roars back to his feet as Colossus follows him over the rail one giant leg at a time. Before the larger man can continue the attack Frank throws a hard right hand that rocks the Colossal Conquerer in his tracks. He rares back and throws another wild haymaker, and another and another!
Gordy Lovett hurls himself over the guardrail behind them just in time for Frank to grab Colossus and whip him face-first into the apron before muscling the big man up and into the ring. Frank turns around and finds himself nose to nose with the Texas Stampede! Gordy smiles, points at the classic logo stitched into his referee’s tanktop, and smiles a tobacco-stained Cheshire grin!
Gordy: GO ON BOAH! HIT ME! AFTER I DISQUALIFY YA I’LL GET TO WHUPPIN’ ON YER BIG HILLBILLY ASS!
Frank vibrates with rage but manages to keep his wits about and turn around and roll into the ring. The problem with that is that Frank has taken his eye off the ball and given Lord Colossus the time and space necessary to shake loose any cobwebs and regroup for another attack! And attack he does, stomping heavy boots into the back and ribs of King Kong Frank as he tried to roll into the ring and get to his feet.
Chip Newman follows them into the ring and immediately calls for the bell!
DING! DING! DING!
Howley: Here we go, Moss! Colossus has Frank inside the ring, just like you wanted it!
Moss: Yeah, fair and square, right?
Doris Hilton joins Gordy at ringside as The Stampede stomps around and makes a general ruckus, but never takes his eyes off the action inside the ring! On the other side of the ring, Walt Whezl manages to find himself slinking over the rail himself and landing hard on the floor with a stainless steel thunk.
Inside the ring, Lord Colossus continues to drop hammers on the prone King Kong Frank. There’s nothing pretty about any of his offense, but it’s all one-hundred percent effective as he’s got one of the most widely known brawlers in the business down on all fours in front of him as he exerts his will over the entire situation.
Howley: This is gonna go one way, Moss, and it ain’t good for King Kong Frank!
The referee is on the mat, doing his best to check on the grizzled hillbilly, but Colossus is having none of it! He reaches down and Grabs frank by the head, lifting him and depositing him in the corner like a sack of potatoes. The Zebra tries to come between the two for at least long enough that Frank can stand up and defend himself but the Lord keeps moving forward.
Moss: Chip Newman had better be careful in there!
Colossus throws a huge overhand over Chip’s shoulder that shakes something loose and wakes Frank up! The Mastodon responds in kind with a big haymaker of his own! The two come together like an unstoppable force trying desperately to seduce an immovable object. Newman, having nowhere to go between them, finds himself caught in the melee. Neither man registers the existence of the referee and Chip eventually sort of crumples out of the fray and manages to roll under the ropes and out to the floor!
Howley: So much for that! And the rulebook!
Moss: Isn’t a situation like this exactly why Gordy Lovett is out there at ringside?
Howley: Come on, Moss! Gordy ain’t no trained referee! How’s he supposed to keep all the rules straight when two guys are tryin’ to tear each other’s arms off in right in front of him?
Moss: You’ve got an excuse for everything, don’t you?
Howley: It’s in the job description.
With every bit of effort that he can muster, Walt Whezl manages to make his way up the farside ring-steps with KKF’s discarded length of chain. Newman is oblivious and Gordy Lovett isn’t paying a lick of attention that far away from the action, but nothing gets past Doris Hilton. Just as soon as she sees that glint of steel from across the ring she’s in the ear of the Cowpuncher.
Doris: Get your butt in there!
Gordy puts it together and slides into the ring, but not before Walt Whezl can hand off the chain to the waiting hands of Lord Colossus, who deftly wraps it around his Volkswagen-sized fist and slams the steel hard into Frank’s forehead! A trickle of blood peeks out from Frank’s brow and Gordy is in the perfect position to call the infraction!
Moss: HE BLASTED FRANK WITH THAT CHAIN!
Moss: Ring the bell! That’s a disqualification!
Lovett does no such thing. Instead, he grabs at his eye and feigns blindness!
Gordy: I CAIN’T SEE! WHAT HAD HAPPENED?!
Howley: HAHA! I love it!
Moss: WHAT?! THIS IS TOO MUCH! THEY’VE GONE TOO FAR!
It’s not enough, though, because King Kong Frank has the hardest head in the business, and it’s gonna take more than one shot to the head to keep him down! The big beefy boy from the Great Smokies makes it back to his feet and he lunges at Gordy. Gordy sidesteps, though as Frank is still on Dream Street and not fully in control of his limbs or his actions. Gordy guffaws as Frank tries once more to pick himself up and turn to face his attackers. Colossus cocks his head inquisitively at the outstretched hand of Gordy but eventually hands over the length of steel that has opened up the Appalachian Nightmare.
Howley: Look at his head! Frank is busted open, Moss!
Moss: Ya think? They’re bordering on criminal assault out there!
Gordy takes his time wrapping his fist tightly as Frank stumbles to his feet. A single stream of blood flows down his forehead and into one eye, dripping off the tip of his nose as he tries to catch his breath, get himself together, and get his eyes to uncross. The time opportunity doesn’t exist though, as Gordy Lovett unloads a chained right hand of his own right between Frank’s eyes, immediately widening the gash inflicted by Lord Colossus! The blood begins to flow freely as Frank lands hard down on his back! Immediately his head is a red mess that may or not make it past the editor’s cutting floor for the eventual Classic Home Video release!
Howley: HERE WE GO NOW!
Moss: THEY’VE BUSTED KING KING FRANK OPEN!
Howley: This is RASSLIN’ the way we used to do it back in MY DAY, Moss!
But it isn’t.
And it’s for that reason that the bell rings aggressively at the behest of referee Chip Newman, who’s managed to pull himself up to his feet just in time to have the best view in the house of Gordy Lovett cracking King Kong Frank in the face with his chain-wrapped fist!
DING! DING! DING!
Howley: What’s going on, Moss?
Moss: Looks like Newman’s called it, Thunderbird!
Howley: Called what? For who? WHY???
Newman hobbles over to the timekeeper’s desk where he has a quick pow-wow with Harold Robbins and Gruff Myers who has been watching like a hawk from the moment that Frank wrapped a chair around Colossus’s head! Myers asks Newman a couple of hushed questions before giving the official decision to Robbins to make the announcement.
Robbins: Your winner, as a result of a DISQUALIFICATION…
Robbins: KING! KONG!! FRAAAAAAAAAANK!!!
There’s no rest for Frank, though, as the disqualification has incensed Lord Colossus and the massive Apocalypse Engine shoulders past the still laughing Gordy Lovett and grabs Frank by his bloodied mess of a head and pulls him up quickly into a standing leg-scissors. Colossus doesn’t waste a millisecond before he’s lifted Frank up over his shoulders and slammed him back down to the mat with a vicious snap Volt Thrower!
Howley: He put some stank on that one!
Doris and Walt have both entered the ring, shared a quick glance of collusion, and both began trying to get their charges to do as much damage as possible as quickly as possible!
Moss: This is a mugging Thunderbird!
Howley: What’d they expect, putting Gordy in charge of this?
At ringside Gruff Myers has called out the cavalry! Every referee and security goon in the building floods the ringside area, but the scene inside the ring stops any of them from putting themselves in that kind of harm’s way!
Moss: Somebody get in there and help Frank!
Howley: I don’t think Gruff pays enough for these guys to get splattered by Gordy and Colossus!
Moss: This is a travesty!
Howley: I don’t see you in there helping, Moss!
Having seen enough Gruff Myers narrows his eyelids and carefully takes off his wristwatch and hands it off to the timekeeper. He then unbuttons his sleeves and methodically starts rolling them up as he makes his way around ringside and starts climbing the steps. Before he can step foot into the ring, however, a metropolitan blur hits the ring, sliding under the bottom rope and getting to his feet before anybody can do anything about it!
Moss: That’s VITO VALENTINO!
Howley: WHAT’S METRO DOING BACK OUT HERE?!
Doris Hilton and Walt Whezl bail post-haste.
Moss: Is that a STICKBALL BAT that Valentino’s got?
Howley: It sure is Moss!
It certainly is, and Vito Valentino certainly knows how to use it! He winds back and takes a swing at Gordy Lovett, almost taking the Cowpuncher’s head off in the process! The big Texan bails between the ropes to regroup with Doris on the outside. Meanwhile Metro points his weapon of choice right in the direction of Lord Colossus, whose only reaction is the slight tilting of his head. It’s as if he’s considering crushing the life out of Valentino, or possibly having tea and scones, who knows am I right? Finally, at the behest of Walt Whezl, Colossus relents and takes a powder, allowing for Valentino to check on the still downed King Kong Frank and allowing Gruff Myers to get into the ring and regain a modicum of control.
Moss: That was a wild one, Thunderbird!
Howley: You can say that again! I can tell you this much, too, Vito Valentino just bit off a whole lot more than he can chew sticking his nose into Doris Hilton and Walt Whezl’s affairs!
Moss: You mean Gordy and Colossus?
Howley: You know what I meant, Moss!
Back in their locker room. Bobby Dean is looking in the mirror. He’s still in his ring gear, sweating profusely, and looking down at it.
No, not at that!
He’s looking down at the new Classic Wrestling TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS! He’s got them both, buckled together at the ends, around his waist.
Bobby Dean: I told you if I used both, they would fit around my waist! That was easy!
On the floor behind Bobby is Lunchbox Larry.
Larry: Speak for youself! I had to squeeze you as tight as I could!
BD looks back at him with a smile and wink.
Bobby Dean: And what a big strong squeeze it was! This is perfect! We’ve won the Tag Team Gold on our second night here! Stick with me kid and you’ll be REAL WORLDS CHAMPION in no time flat!
Larry sits up.
Larry: Do you think maybe I could wear one of the titles? Maybe just for a minute… I think one of them is technically mine?
The beautiful one shakes his head and chuckles.
Bobby Dean: Woah woah, don’t get ahead of yourself big boy! You’ve gotta earn your half of these tag team belts. Now so far, I’ve done all the work. Did you see that big elbow I dropped on em?
He throws an elbow at a invisible opponent. He slips and nearly falls when he does.
Suddenly the Locker Room door bursts open. A voice shouts out.
Eddie Dante: THERE THEY ARE!
The small manager gets out of the way and in comes Mushigahara and Leon Van Zandt, the Foreign Legion! The pair rush in and attack Bobby Dean and Larry who were less than prepared. With big slugging blows, and then running both men into a set of lockers, they finish off the duo with hard kicks. Leaving Larry and Bobby Dean in a heap together in the middle of the room. Luckily Bobby Dean is laying on the belts so Foreign Legion can’t steal them like last time.
The big men leave the room, knowing the damage has been done, and their message sent.
Real Worlds Title Tournament Final: “All Business” Alex Bruder vs Rush Starling
Moss: When Classic Wrestling began, we told you folks we were going to see 16 of the top competitors in the professional wrestling space take part in a tournament. A tournament that would establish our very first Classic Wrestling REAL WORLDS CHAMPION! Well now it’s time to find out who’s going to come out of that tournament as the champion.
Howley: Main Event time! This one is for all the marbles Moss, The whole kit and kaboodle, It’s Make or break! It’s all on the line!
Moss: Both of these men have made it through three individual matches, winning each one along the way! The winner will have certainly earned the championship once and for all.
Howley: It should be a great match Moss, we;ve got the technical prowess of Alex Bruder, vs the second generation wrestling repertoire of Rush Starling. Let’s kick it over the Harold Robbins.
“Train of Consequences” by Megadeath hits the loudspeakers.
Robbins: The following matchup is scheduled for one fall with a 60 minute time limit! AND IS FOR THE CLASSIC WRESTLING REAL WORLDS CHAMPIONSHIP!
The crowd cheers loudly for the championship. Ready to see it crowned.
Robbins: Coming to the ring first, From Hillsboro, North Dakota.. This is “All Business” ALEX BRUDER!
“All Business” Alex Bruder comes out to his music, the lights lowered and a single spotlight on him. He ignores the crowd, not returning their insults. He enters via the stairs, wipes his boots on the apron, and goes to his corner, pulling against the top ropes, a mixture of last minute stretching and testing the rope’s tension.
The opening roar of “Sirius” by the Alan Parsons Project begins to hum across the Classic Studio. The crowd begins to rise up on their feet cheering as a fog machine does its job pumping out a white smoke that fills the entrance area.
DUN DUN DUN, DUN DUN DUH
A white strobe begins to flicker through the thick fog as Rush Starling walks out to the roar of the fans in attendance. He doesn’t waste time and marches towards the ring slapping hands with fans and making sure to grab a fan sign of support to wave, rallying the crowd.
Robbins: And his opponent / Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 240 pounds he hails from Allentown, Pennsylvania. This is Rush Starling!
Rush sprints up the steps, slips through the ropes, and immediately mounts the turnbuckle pumping up the crowd. He points to the fans closest by giving them warm smiles before he steps down and faces the referee to be checked for combat.
Moss: This is the one we’ve all been waiting for. With wins over some of the toughest competition there is, these guys have fought, wrestled, and clawed to get here, for THAT championship!
Referee Kevin Clady holds up the new Championship for all to see, it’s gaudy, enormous, and gold!
Howley: Just look at it Moss!
Moss: A sight to behold that’s for sure!
The championship goes outside and bell is rung. The anticipation in the arena is palpable as the two competitors stare at one another from opposite corners.
They finally meet in the middle with an aggressive lock up. Both men try to use their strength to their advantage. Alex Bruder is able to back Rush into the ropes and goes for a quick overhead cheap shot. Starling moves but keeps the lockup on. Now Rush pulls Bruder into the turnbuckle and holds him against it.
Bruder: REF! WHERES THE BREAK!? DO YOUR JOB!
The official quickly starts a 5 count in the corner. Rush breaks the hold right away. He backs away with his arms in the air. Bruder sees and opening and kicks him in the gut, catching him off guard. Rush doubles over and Alex grabs him and shoves him face first off the top turnbuckle. Rush stumbles out of the corner holding his face. Bruder grabs him once more.
Moss: Bruder grabs a headlock around the neck AND top rope of the ring. He’s basically using that rope to choke Rush Starling right now!
Howley: I don’t think so Moss, he just doesn’t want to lose his balance! Hard to blame the guy. A lot of sweaty men on that mat tonight.
Bruder breaks the hold right before Kevin Clady hits 5 on his count. Now in firm control he pulled Rush to the center of the ring and grabs him around the waist. He hoists him up and slams him back down with a gutwrench suplex. Rush lands flat and appears to have the wind knocked out of him.
Alex Bruder points to his head and smiles. He moves off the mat and pulls Rush to his feet, only to be surprised as Rush pushes Bruders arms away and comes firing back with a couple of big right hands. Bruder is backed up to the ropes. Rush yells out in frustration and then comes after Bruder. Alex tries to back drop him over the top rope and to the floor. Luckily for Rush he’s able to hold onto the rope and land on the ring apron. He scrambles to regain his balance and pulls Alex Bruder through the ropes and to the apron as well. Both men outside start exchange strikes. Finally one of Rush’s kicks lands hard in the gut of Bruder and he falls to the floor, landing on his feet.
He turns around to face his opponent, just as Rush runs down the apron and dives!
Moss: What a diving clothesline from Rush Starling! He nearly took Bruder’s head off with that one!
Fans in the arena get on their feet. The ones seated next to the action are losing their collective minds. Official Kevin Clady gets out of the ring and checks to make sure both men are able to continue, they both quickly confirm that they’re willing and able. He returns to the ring and begins to count them out.
Both men get to their feet before the count, Rush Starling is in first. Bruder is right behind him. Rush hits the ropes and comes back but Alex was ready for him. He lifts him up, using his momentum against him, Bruder falls backwards sending Rush once again throat first onto the top rope. They both crash on the mat. Bruder hooks the leg and goes for a pin.
Howley: Watch out Moss this one might be over!
Rush kicks out with authority.
Moss: Rush still has some fight in him!
Howley: Most definitely Moss, he beat Lord Colossus! That said, You can tell Bruder is softening him up for that Cobra Clutch! Everything he’s been doing has been on the head and neck!
Almost as if on queue, Bruder grabs a side headlock as Rush gets to his feet. Rush for his efforts is quick to find a way out. He lifts Bruder straight up into the air and then back down on his knee.
Moss: Atomic Drop!
Bruder holds his tailbone/ass in pain. Rush waits for him to turn around before he drills him with a dropkick that sends Bruder flying. Rush shakes his arms as he gets going, and the crowd is loving it.
Both men back up and Bruder rushes in at Starling. Rush bends over and hits a huge back body drop!
Howley: How did he throw him that high!
Moss: That’s gotta hurt!
Bruder right back up again, and runs once more and rush meets him with a knee to the midsection. Rush hooks his head and turns him over slowly and drops down.
Howley: He broke his neck with that move!
Moss: Neckbreaker by Starling finds it’s mark! Could this be it?
Rush now goes for the cover trying to seal the deal.
NO NO! The official waves it off.
Moss: Bruder’s shoulder didn’t come off the mat Thunderbird!
Howley: But his foot is draped over that bottom rope, look here! That’s a good call by official Kevin Clady! That’s not a three count!
Rush’s face goes from elation to deflation as he realizes it’s not quite over. He nods his acceptance to the official and pulls Bruder off the mat. Both men are exhausted. Rush hooks the head of Bruder and looks for a bulldog.
Moss: Reversed by Bruder! He just tossed Rush off of him! The 2nd Generation superstar hit the mat hard on that one.
Bruder slides outside of the ring. Grabs the leg of Rush Starling and pulls it towards him. He then lifts it slams it down on the ring apron. Rush grabs his leg and tries to get back in the ring but Bruder pulls him all the way to the floor. Big right hand from Alex has Rush dazed. Alex Bruder then irish whips Rush Starling right into steel barricade that separates the fans and the ring.\
Moss: Oh! Back first into that steel rail! It has no give in it!
Bruder lines up his shot and runs at Starling. Rush gets a boot up in time to stop the oncoming attack. Bruder stumbles and falls across the railing, landing on the lap of a couple Classic Wrestling fans. He looks up at them, and jumps as if he was scared by their appearance. He falls back over the guardrail where Rush is ready for him.
Moss: Starling now rolls Bruder back into the ring, and now… what’s he doing?
Howley: He’s climbing to the top turnbuckle Moss! He’s looking for a high risk move.
Moss: He could be going for the big Elbow Drop of his!
In fact Rush does line up the jump, and take off. He lifts his arm and bends it with the point facing down.
Moss: Look at that elevation! Aaaaaaannnddddd…. NO! Alex Bruder moves! Rush Starling misses the elbow! He landed right on the point of that elbow into the mat!
Howley: Bruder is right on top of him! Watch Out!
Bruder twists the arm that Rush just hurt. He then ties it around Starling’s own neck!
Moss: COBRA CLUTCH! HE’S GOT IT LOCKED IN!
Kevin Clady gets in the face of Rush Starling to see if he wants to give up. Rush shakes his head no what little he can. The official waves off the ring bell, he hasn’t quit yet. Rush fires up his fists and starts pumping them. He moves from the mat to his backside with his own free hand. Then to a knee… Bruder pulls harder, screaming out in frustration as he ties the hold in tighter!
Howley: He’s getting up!
Moss: I can’t believe it Rush is fighting through the pain!
Starling makes it to his feet with Bruder behind him. Alex makes a last ditch effort and jumps onto the back of Rush and wraps his legs around in a body vice as well. Rush is able to run around for a moment. He gives it all he has and jumps straight up in the air and down ontop of Bruder.
Moss: What a move by Rush Starling!
Howley: LOOK MOSS LOOK! BRUDER DIDNT LET GO!
In fact he thrashes back and forth trying to cut off more air to Starling. After a few more seconds Rush stops moving. The official lifts his free arm three times, but to no avail!
KEVIN CLADY CALLS FOR THE BELL!
Moss: This one is over! We have our very first REAL WORLDS CHAMPION Thunderbird! Can you believe it! What a battle!
Howley: Bruder went through a virtual army to get here Moss and tonight Rush Starling just didn’t have enough to get it done. He fought hard, but that Cobra Clutch is something else!
“Train of Consequences” by Megadeath kicks on the loudspeaker as Bruder finally breaks the hold and Rush Starling falls lifeless to the mat. The official grabs the championship and presents it to Alex Bruder who has a smug smile on his face. Almost like he suspected it would be this way all along.
Moss: 4 Straight wins and crowned first ever REAL WORLDS CHAMPION here in Classic Wrestling!
Robbins: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner by submission! ALLLL BUSINESSSS ALEX BRUDER!
His music plays as he walks to each corner of the ring and stares out at the fans in a “I told you so” type way. He walks past Starling and shakes his head and rubs his feet next to him.
Bruder leaves the ring and holds the belt high to a chorus of boos from the Classic Wrestling crowd.
Moss: Folks join us on Classic Wrestling on RBTV next week to see the amazing fallout from SLAM A THON! 3 new Champions crowned! We’ve got a whole roster of competitors looking to earn their shot!
Howley: SLAM A THON was a major success Moss! I don’t know how it’s going to get bigger, but you know it will! Thank you fans for purchasing Classic Wrestling’s first PPV, we hope to see you all live and in person soon! Goodnight everybody!