Once More With Feeling!
A particularly celebratory GONG at that. One that heralds the cool breeze of spring. A new season; a new dawn!
There it is again. That beacon of hope. That promise of tomorrow! Oh, what a sweet, melodious GONG!
Once more with feeling. The world rejoices! For this particular GONG has a little more oomph in it. A quaking sensation that would be frightening were it not so… so…
The Japanese National Anthem interrupts the unquestionable, and completely logical adoration.
Otto Price stands on the stage, with his weapon of choice – a Classic Wrestling-branded microphone – at the ready.
Otto Price: Ladies and gentlemen, at this time, please welcome your NEEEEEEEEW Real Worlds Champion… SHUUUUUJIN YAAAAMAAAAA.
Sensei Abe Lincoln is there first, waving the Japanese flag as ever. But a shadow soon falls over the lecherous villain as the massive champion steps out in front. Shujin Yama looks bigger than usual… perhaps having packed on a few extra pounds after celebrating his win. Either way, there on his shoulder – too small to wrap around his waist – is the grandest prize in all of Classic Wrestling: The Real Worlds Championship.
The Classic fans don’t like it one bit. They shower the champion with boos, as Yama lifts a tree trunk leg high into the air and slams it down onto the ground. He lets out an indecipherable bellow, and as he strides his way to the ring – the ground quaking with each step – the audience begins showering him with trash, food, and liquid that one can only hope is soda or beer. Shujin Yama pays it no mind. Proudly, he climbs the steps. Sensei Lincoln scrambles up onto the apron to hold the ropes open for him, getting there just in time for the champion to step through and take up court in his kingdom.
The camera catches a small box-like object, draped in a black sheet, that Lincoln seems to have left at ringside in the process.
Otto Price makes space for the gargantuan sumo, but is quickly shoved aside even further by Lincoln, who snatches the microphone from Price’s hand.
Sensei Lincoln: Today is not day for you, Otto-San. No! You can be excused.
Lincoln gestures for Otto to leave, and it kind of looks like Otto just can’t be bothered dealing with the sensei. Either that, or he doesn’t want a thing to do with the mass of humanity that Lincoln represents. As such, Otto Price leaves the ring to Lincoln and the champ.
Lincoln: Today is day for one man only! One myth! One legend! Today is day for Shujin Yama! The Oni of Oblivion! And… YOUR Real Worlds Champion!
There come the boos again, and Lincoln turns his attention directly to the crowd.
Lincoln: Why so unhappy? Did Shujin Yama not tell you this would be so? Did Shujin Yama not swear that Vito Valentino would crumble, just like his precious MECCA? Have ignorant Americans not yet realised that Shujin Yama is man of his word? Man of honor? Defined by him, not by you. You can boo all you want, but Shujin Yama represents what Classic Wrestling has been missing! Champion who represents WHOLE world!
Cue more hatred. Lincoln seems to revel in it, but even his giddy glee subsides a little, just as a murmured hush falls over the crowd, as the colossus himself reaches out a meaty arm towards the sensei. The microphone is passed.
Three steps, Yama takes, and he is leaning in the ropes, a solemn, considered look in his terrible eyes.
Shujin Yama: I hear you.
The quiet deepens, becoming a confused silence.
Yama: I hear each and every one of you, and in this moment – MY moment – all I ask of you is that you take the time to ‘hear’ me too. Can you offer me that?
Strangely, the Classic audience can.
Yama nods as the pointed heckling remains dulled. He bows his head, ever-so-slightly.
Lincoln eyes the crowd, expecting that to get another rise out of them, but for the most part, the fans remain relatively muted.
Yama: As I said, I hear you, and I want to say something that you might not expect. I am sorry.
Noise flitters its way around the arena again, still quiet, but not mad. The fans don’t quite know how to react.
Yama: It wasn’t easy to wrest this championship away from Vito Valentino – I’ll give the guy that much. And you deserve better! I wasn’t here on the last show. I – the new champion – let you all down! I should be better than that! I know that you want a champion who will show up and show out! And so for that… I am sorry.
He looks out to the crowd once more, forlorn.
And then he smiles. Big, wide, and wicked.
Yama: I’m sorry to be the one to tell you dolts that sometimes YOU DON’T GET WHAT YOU WANT!!! No, my Classic idiot friends – sometimes the world just takes a giant dump on every one of your little hopes and dreams! Sometimes… sometimes you are left with no other option but to scratch and claw your way out of whatever hole the world wants to put you in, and TAKE what you want! What you deserve! I DID THAT! Vito Valentino didn’t! None of you did either! ME! I did it, and I DESERVE THIS!
He holds the Real Worlds Championship jigh above his head and the Classic fans erupt once more in repulsion.
Yama: Don’t act like it isn’t true! What YOU want doesn’t matter; what you deserve doesn’t matter, because I MAKE MY OWN DREAMS COME TRUE! I, once again, am the living embodiment of the American spirit! I am what you wish you were, and there isn’t a damn thing that you, Vito, or anyone else in the back can do about it! This is, quite literally–
He looks lovingly at the championship.
Yama: –MY WORLD now!
Lincoln applauds in the background, and frantically waves the Japanese flag with pride. Yama turns his head towards him, and gives a slight nod. Lincoln seems to recognise what this means and immediately jumps into action. He leaves the ring and makes his way over to the sheet-covered box that had been left at ringside. He struggles with it, but manages to slide it into the ring – pushing up the bottom rope to make room for it.
Yama: And as they say, the proof is in the pudding. One week without YOUR champion and the vermin and carrion that make up the rest of this roster can’t even keep our spot on a Monday Night? Displaced by a dog show of all things? What do we think of that, Abe?
The sensei slinks back to Yama’s side and leans into the microphone.
Lincoln: I always thought dog show was every night here, mmhmm.
Yama: You’re not far wrong. Because this here championship is what separates Shujin Yama from the rest of the mangy mutts that Classic has to offer! This right here, makes me ‘Best in Show’! And that right there…
He points to where the mystery box sits.
Yama: Show ’em, Abe.
Sensei Lincoln rips back the curtain and reveals…
A small dog?
A wire fox terrier, to be precise.
Lincoln unlocks the cage that the dog is in, and scoops the pup up to bring over towards Shujin Yama.
Yama: I’d like to introduce you all to ‘Princess Butter-Pup’, and last night, she won ‘Best in Show’ too. And here, today, she now belongs to me. And I get to decide what to do with her, don’t I ‘Princess’?
Mockingly, he scratches the dog behind the ear. The canine can’t tell Yama’s intentions, but to the Classic fans, there’s something decidedly creepy about the champagne actions.
Yama: Oh, yes I do.
He coos at her.
Yama: I get to decide if the ‘Princess’ lives the rest of her life like a queen, or…
His face darkens. Shujin Yama turns from the puppy and stares directly down the hard camera.
Yama: …Or I get to decide if tomorrow, Princess Butter-Pup finds her way out to the farm that your parents told you that your own dogs went to, when you were a naive little brat. I get to decide, if Princess Butter-Pup gets to keep EXISTING in MY WORLD.
He turns back to the sensei and the dog.
Yama: Take her away.
Lincoln dutifully obliges, returning the dog to her cage.
Yama: Do you all get the picture? This is Shujin Yama’s world now, and it is at my mercy as to whether you even get to exist in it. And if any of you seek to try to displace me again… well…
The cover is thrown back over the cage of Princess Butter-Pup, and the dog’s whimpers can clearly be heard from underneath.
Yama: …You’d do wise to remember the name, story, and short, short life… of Princess Butter-Pup.
With a loud THUD, the microphone drops to the mat, and Shujin Yama and Sensei Lincoln exit the ring, taking the seemingly doomed Princess Butter-Pup with them.
Jay Evans vs Dojo Dwayne
We head back to ringside where Harold Robbins and referee Spencer Fuller await with Jay Evans and Dojo Dwayne already in the ring, before going to Moss and Howley at commentary!
Moss: Alright folks, we are kicking things off with a singles match to remember as Jay Evans takes on Dojo Dwayne!
Howley: Jay Evans has struggled a bit since debuting in Classic Wrestling, but managed to turn things around at ClassicMania with a big win over Randall Schwartz…so it’s a question of whether he can keep that momentum here tonight!
Robbins: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Shreveport, Louisiana and weighing in at 217 pounds…JAY EVANS!
The majority of the crowd boos Jay, though some notably appreciate him after his efforts at ClassicMania!
Robbins: And his opponent, from…
Harold doesn’t get a chance to finish the introduction however, as Jay blindsides Dojo Dwayne with a right hand! The crowd is adamantly against this, booing Evans as Fuller checks on Dwayne. The karate master insists he’s fine and Fuller calls for the bell to start the match!
Jay wastes no time here, laying into Dwayne with some hard lefts and rights before sending him to the ropes…and connecting with a clothesline on the rebound! He follows up with some stomps for good measure before bringing Dwayne back to his feet…which turns out to be a mistake, as Dwayne wallops Evans with a hard palm strike to the chest!
This sends Jay reeling back, which gives the Dojo man a chance to fight back as he unloads a flurry of martial arts offense that are funky fresh. Kick after kick wears the rapper down, before Dwayne sends Jay to the ropes with an Irish whip. Dwayne goes for a spinning heel kick on the rebound, but Jay manages to dodge it at the last second! Jay bounces off the ropes, launching himself for a cross body splash on Dwayne! Jay with the cover!
Moss: Close call there for Dojo Dwayne, who manages to show he’s still got some fighting spirit!
Howley: He’d better be careful though, Jay Evans is not happy about that!
Sure enough, Jay’s frustration is visible as he goes right back on the attack, driving a knee into the sternum of Dwayne before dropping him with a vertical suplex. Dwayne looks worse for wear here, and Jay can’t help but smirk as he realizes he has what it takes to put the funky fighter away! Jay turns his attention to the nearest turnbuckle, pointing to it to signal what’s coming next as he climbs up to the top…and leaps off, hitting a beautiful frog splash in the process! FROGGY JUMP!
This could be it as Evans goes for the cover while Fuller makes the count…unaware that Evans has propped his feet up on the middle rope for leverage!
The crowd are almost incensed by this, but a win is a win for Jay Evans, who slides his feet off the ropes seconds before the ref calls for the bell!
DING! DING! DING!
Robbins: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner by pinfall…JAAAAAY EVANNNNNNNS!
The crowd continue to boo as Fuller raises Jay’s arm in victory, and Dojo Dwayne looks a tad upset as he manages to get to his feet. The two men stare each other down until Randall Schwartz, of all people, makes his way out to the ring to an even bigger chorus of boos.
Moss: Jay Evans picking up a win over Dojo Dwayne here tonight, but the man took a shortcut to get there…and now Randall’s out here!
Howley: Hopefully, for Jay’s sake, Randall is just out here to congratulate Jay on a fine victory here tonight!
Randall makes haste to enter the ring, staring down Jay and then Dwayne with a scowl on his face…right before walloping Dwayne with a right hand! Jay just looks at the Entertainer, who gives him a knowing nod and a smirk before motioning for Evans to continue the attack on Dwayne until officials come out to break things up, pulling Evans and Randall away. Dwayne is helped to his feet by the officials, much to the amusement of Randall as we cut back to Moss and Howley!
Moss: What a despicable display here by Jay Evans and Randall Schwartz here tonight!
Howley: Looks to me like the two managed to settle their differences after ClassicMania!
Moss: Folks, this was a rough way to start things off tonight, but stay tuned for more action as we continue with Classic Wrestling!
Leon Van Zandt vs Chick Grillbreast
Both men are standing in the ring in their appropriate corners. The referee takes his time to make sure there are no foreign objects.
Moss: Our ref’s here are top notch, just like the two men we have ready here for a good old fashioned rasslin’ match.
Howley: I’m looking forward to this one.
Moss: That’s almost nice of you.
Howley: This means the show will a almost over.
Once the bell rings both Leon Van Zant and Chick Grillbeast circle each other before LVZ shoots in for a collar and elbow lock up. LVZ tries to push Chick towards the corner but he is unable to do so. Frustrated LVZ breaks the lock up and steps back. Chick flexes all of his muscles as LVZ cautiously looks for another avenue to attack.
Moss: Leon playing the thinking man’s game.
Howley: I don’t this there’s much thought in either man’s head right now.
LVZ shoots towards Chick and ducks under the arm, grabbing ahold of Chick from behind. He quickly transitions to a side head lock and begins to crank down on it. Chick struggles for a moment and attempts to flip LVZ off of him but Leon was able to hold on and bring Chick around and continue the hold.
Howley: I will say this, it’s smart for Leon to try and keep Chick on the ground.
Moss: It seems that Leon has decided on a slower pace for this one.
Panic begins to set in Chick’s eyes as his face grows redder and redder. LVZ kicks the back of Chick’s knee and applies more pressure to the hold. It looks like Chick is fading as the ref raises his hand.
It falls lifelessly to his side.
Howely: Really? This is going to take down Chick?
Then a second time.
Moss: We’ve seen weirder here in Classic.
It follows suit.
Howley: Well that was rather anticlimactic.
Finally the third time.
Chick’s arm shoots to the sky. LVZ’s eyes go wide as Chick begins to hype himself up. He eventually gets to a solid base and grabs hold of LVZ by the waist. LVZ releases the hold and tries to axe handle smash Chick but it was a day late and a dollar short. Chick lifts LVZ high in the air. Both men land flat on their back after a picture perfect belly to back side suplex.
Moss: Huge move by Chick.
Howley: Both men are down.
Moss: The power of Chick is on full display right there.
Chick is the first to his feet as he rubs his neck that is showing signs of wear and tear. LVZ gets to his feet and is holding the small of his back.
Moss: Looks like it’s about to be a good old fashioned slug fest!
The two men once again meet in the middle of the ring and exchange a flurry of blows, with Chick getting the upper hand with an elbow to the jaw. LVZ is stumbling back as Chick whips him into the ropes.
Moss: MILITARY PRESS SLAM!
LVZ is lifted high into the air as Chick marches around the ring, LVZ manages to slide down the back of Chick and goes for a schoolboy pin.
Moss: Noooooo Chick managed to get a shoulder up.
Howley: How pathetic if you were to lose to that?
Moss: Nothing pathetic about that!
Chick kicks out and rolls to a seated position, LVZ wastes no time and kicks Chick square in the chest, but the muscular Chick doesn’t flinch. LVZ does it again, and once again it is brushed aside. LVZ winds up for a third kick but he stops at the last second as he notices Chick preparing to grab his leg. Rather than go for the chest LVZ Thor’s it and goes for the head. He jumps on Chick and locks in an armbar.
Moss: Leon is trying everything in his bag to take down Chick.
Howley: It might be working too. All them muscles and now nothing to show for it.
Chick struggles for a moment then uses his pure and totally not tainted strength to drag both men to the ropes and breaks the hold.
Howley: Don’t do a dumb Leon.
Moss: Looks like he’s going to pick up Chick.
Howley: He did a dumb.
LVZ stays on the attack and foolishly picks up Chick and throws him into the ropes. As Chick rebounds and shoulder tackles LVZ and keeps the train moving. LVZ gets to his feet and he’s met by another massive shoulder. As LVZ stands up he drops down out of the way of the third shoulder and drop toe holds Chick to the mat and quickly locks in a half Boston Crab.
Moss: There is no quit in Leon….
Howley: But the strength of Chick is too much…
Chick proves to be too strong for LVZ and flips the man off with power. LVZ slides to the other side of the ring as Chick rises to his feet and hobbles slightly towards LVZ. Looking to stay on the attack, LVZ runs right towards Chick.
Moss: PRESS SLAM!
This time Chick doesn’t waste any time with the pomp and circumstance as LVZ falls on the mat. Chick begins to wind up his arm.
Moss: Shaker Cup!
As Chick swings for LVZ, he manages to duck but Chick keeps his momentum going and swings all the way around. LVZ doesn’t sense it coming as he crumbles to the mat. Chick drops down and pins LVZ, hooking the far leg.
Robbins: The winner of this match Via Pinfall… CHICK GRILLBEAST!
Chick jumps up to his feet with both hands in the air. His face projects an image of supreme confidence. Almost as if he knew this would happen.
Moss: Chick continues to win match after match on his tear through Classic Wrestling!
Howley: “All Natural” all the way, I’m sure. Wait what’s this!?
Chick slaps the head of Leon Van Zandt as he gets up, then puts a boot to him. Grillbreast tells him to stay down.
Moss: Oh no, that’s not right…. Wait here we go again Thunderbird!
Howley: LVZ is a world class athlete, he’s not going to take this lying down!
LVZ shoots for the legs, but Grillbreast drops a couple of devastating forearms across the back of his neck.
The fans start to cheer as a figure hits the ring.
Moss: That’s the newest signee to Classic Wrestling! Santana Alvarez!
He grabs Chick Grillbreast from behind who never sees him coming. With a pull the Nuyorican picks up Grillbreast and suplexes him with a German. Grillbreast hits hard and holds his back and rolls out of the ring very surprised and angry.
Howley: Well he made a statement here tonight!
Alvarez checks on LVZ as Grillbreast seeths outside the ring.
Moss: Folks we’ll be right back!
Never On Camera!
Your Classic Wrestling broadcast is once again interrupted by an overview shot of the Almir Sayed estate. Once again you are awe struck by the beauty and magnitude of this mansion built on the side of a cliff. It is truly the stuff dreams are made of.
Lord Colossus & The Bolts vs The Amazing Amarettos
We come back to ringside as the Amazing Amarettos finish off their Classique ring entrance. Their sequins shine in the spotlight, but noticeably missing from their persons is the Gold Cumberbunds!
Moss: Former tag team champions here looking to get back on top of the fold!
Howley: It’s not going to be easy tonight as they have to take on 3 men! One of them might be the biggest in Classic Wrestling!
Moss: In which manner?
Howley: All of them!
On the other side of the ring is the team in question. The Bolts wander aimlessly in their corner, looking around at all the people and lights in amazement. Lord Colossal err… Colossus begins to wave at the people before Walt Whezl pulls his arm down and asks him what he thinks he’s doing!?
Robbins: Ladies and gentlemen this next match is a handicap match! Introducing first, from the Las Vegas Strip! The team of Carlo and Gomez, THE AMAZING AMARETTOS!
The fans boo loudly at the magical pair from the desert.
Robbins: And their opponents… hailing from…
The fans say it along with him loudly and in sync.
Robbins: THE VOID!
Howley: Is there an echo in here?
Robbins: This is the team of THE BOLTS & LORD COLOSSUS!
The bell rings and we start off with Munnin and Carlo Amaretto. Munnin runs in with his arms both raised for a brazen attack but Carlo catches him in the midsection on the way through. He doubles over and Carlo is able to take full control.
Moss: The bolts have been a little lackluster here in Classic since making their debut. Yet to come up with a tag team win! Tonight with the help of Lord Colossus, they could get their first!
Carlo wrenches the arm before smoothly sliding behind Munnin for a hammerlock. Munnin backs into the ropes for a break which is counted swiftly by the referee. Carlo breaks at 5 because he’s dastardly. Muninn looks around at the fans, hoping they’d have his back but they boo him as well. He turns back around and finds a flying Amaretto aimed in his direction. The diving shoulder block lands flush and sends the Bolt flipping over the top rope and to the floor in a spectacular display. The fans “ooooh” until Amaretto bows, then they boo the everliving Suzi out of them.
Carlo tags in Gomez who drops to the floor and goes after Munnin instead of waiting for him. The Bolt however is playing a bit of possum and attacks the unsuspecting magician when he goes to engage. Gomez grabs a front facelock to slow down the onslaught of strikes, but Munnin uses his leverage to drive Amaretto back first into the barricade that separates the fans from the ring. As he writhes on the ground, Munnin gets back into the ring. After the quick tag, Lord Colossus moves into the ring ominously.
Gomez rolls in onto his back, only to find himself in the shadow of the large figure. Colossus goes to grab him, but Gomez utilizes the bottom rope to pull himself to the apron and the Lord comes up empty.
Howley: He magically disappeared!
Once standing, Gomez grabs the befuddled Colossus by the back of the head and runs down the length of the apron and slams his head into the turnbuckle pad. Colossus stumbles away from the corner trying to adjust his mask so he can see clearly. When he turns around Amaretto is flying through the air and lands a body press on the much larger man. Both men crumble to the mat.
Howley: HOLY MOLY! WHAT A MOVE!
Moss: That’s why they call it high risk folks! If you hit it, it pays off, if not… well crash and burn! Fortunately for Gomez he hits the mark there. Amaretto now looks for the cover!
KICKOUT by Lord Colossus!
Gomez gets up and goes to get counsel from his twin brother. The referee considers it a tag and in comes Carlo! As Lord Colossus gets up, Carlo hops on his back and applies a sleeper hold as best he can. The giant head of Colossus doesn’t make it easy work. On the outside the Bolts egg on the big man.
After awhile Colossus drops to a single knee, a sign he may be losing power, as soon as Carlo smiles and admonishes the crowd however, Colossus finds the strength to stand back up and fall straight backwards. He ends up squashing the magician in the process.
Howley: Goodnight Carlo!
On the outside the bolts jump of the ring apron at the behest of Walt Whezl. They each sneak around one side of the ring and pull Gomez from the ring apron. Gomez begins to swing wildly on the two boney figures before calling out for Suzi who isn’t coming to save him this time.
Moss: The Amarettos clearly missing their….lovely assistant!
Howley: I wonder what she’s been up to? Prolly pulling on a carton as we speak! Ah memories!
A wild brawl ensues on the outside of the ring. It’s not long before Gomez is overwhelmed by the duo and they gain control. The referee is having a hard enough time in the ring, while he sees what’s happening he’s unable to stop it.
Moss: Pandemonium breaks loose here at Classic Wrestling!
Howley: That’s just on the outside of the ring! Let alone inside!
Colossus now lifts Carlo up to his feet. He places both hands around the much smaller neck and lifts him high into the air. The referee calls it a choke and immediately begins his count. It’s not long before LC drops Amaretto and menacing looks at the referee. When the official doesn’t back down, Colossus takes a step toward him…then another…
Moss: Hey now, he can’t assault a Classic official, this is uncalled for!
Howley: He hasn’t done anything….yet.
From behind him comes Carlo however. Carlo does a half cartwheel so that his torso is against the backside of Colossus than rolls him up into a modified sunset flip!
Howley: WHAT WAS THAT!?
Moss: I’ve never see….wait he’s got the cover!
Colossus kicks out but it’s a fraction too late. The bell rings and Walt Whezl loses his mind on the outside. He starts beating on his own Bolts, admonishing them for costing Colossus the match!
“Abra Cadabra” by the Steve Miller Band begins to play on the loudspeaker.
Robbins: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winners by pinfall, the team of Carlo and Gomez! THE AMAZING AMARETTOS!
Carlo leaves the ring and is able to grab Gomez on his way to the back, pulling him away from the angry manager, the Bolts, and Colossus.
King Kong Frank vs Alex Bruder (Nontitle)
We head back to ringside where Harold Robbins and referee Kevin Clady await with Alex Bruder and King Kong Frank already in the ring, before going to Moss and Howley at commentary!
Moss: Welcome back folks, we are gearing up for what could be a banger of a non-title bout as former REAL World’s Champion Alex Bruder takes on the reigning Premier American Champion, King Kong Frank!
Howley: What a match this is gonna be, a slugfest to be sure!
Robbins: Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a non-title contest scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Hillsboro, North Dakota and weighing in at 238 pounds, he is All Business…ALEX BRUUUUUDER!
The crowd boos Bruder, who taunts them in response with a smirk on his face.
Robbins: And his opponent, from the Great Smoky Mountains and weighing in at a remarkable 295 pounds, he is the Appalachian Nightmare and your Premier American Champion…KING KONG FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK!
This gets a big pop from the riled crowd, cheering on Frank as he raises a first in acknowledgement, staring down Bruder as Clady calls for the bell to start the match!
As the bell rings, the two men immediately come to blows with some lefts and rights, each man looking for the early advantage against the other. The punches come hard and heavy, each one connecting until we see Bruder starting to get to Frank, the big man being rattled ever so slightly as he takes a step back.
This is precisely the opening Bruder needs, as he lays the punches in even harder now, Clady now admonishing him as he notices the closed fist at play. Bruder steps back, if only to insist that no tomfoolery is going on before he kicks Frank in the gut!
The crowd is jeering Bruder for that kick, but he is All Business as he grabs Frank by the arm, sending him to the ropes with an Irish whip before taking the big man down with a clothesline on the rebound! Much to the surprise of Bruder, however, Frank is able to get back up relatively quickly, still more than eager to give Bruder a fight!
Moss: Looks like Frank is all business here now, Thunderbird!
Howley: I…why would you go and say a thing like that, Pat?
Alex nods with a sly smirk, eager to take said fight to the Appalachian Nightmare with some hard forearm smashes, before grabbing and wrenching Frank’s right arm! The torque being applied causes a good deal of pain here, as Frank tries every which way to somehow get out of the hold…but Bruder only twists harder, managing to bring Frank down to one knee!
The effect doesn’t last too long, however, as the Smoky Mountain Savage eventually drags Bruder down to break the hold! Frank is really favoring that right arm now as he rises back to a standing position, shouting at Bruder to show the big man what he’s got…and Bruder obliges with a kick to the gut, and a snap suplex!
The crowd is stunned by this feat of physical strength, but All Business stays true to his namesake as he remains calm and collected, and with Frank now down on the canvas Bruder goes back to work on the right arm, locking in an armbar!
Frank is wincing in pain now, trying to build back up to a vertical base while simultaneously trying to power through the hurt he’s in. He makes it back to his feet, but Bruder’s still got the armbar locked in…until Frank lifts him up, dropping him on his back to the canvas in a modified powerbomb of sorts to break the hold!
Moss: King Kong Frank managing to finally power out of an armbar by Alex Bruder!
Howley: Hell of an AB-AB sequence there by AB, but it was not meant to be!
Bruder takes a slight tumble but quickly gets back to his feet, as Frank charges at the former REAL World’s Champion, pummeling him with some lefts and rights to wear Bruder down, which ends with a big elbow to the noggin! Bruder drops down, but Frank isn’t done yet as he stomps away at the former champ for good measure.
Alex eventually manages to roll out of the way, exiting the ring to force an end to the proceedings. Frank doesn’t relent for long, stepping over the ropes to head out for the chase as Bruder runs around the ring, clearly trying to evade the big man…or at least, to set him up for a trap! Bruder catches Frank with a wide haymaker as Frank reels back slightly.
This is the opening Bruder needs, as he rolls Frank back into the ring before sliding in after him, taunting the Appalachian Nightmare to get back to his feet. Frank stands back up, and Bruder sends him to the ropes with an Irish whip looking for a powerslam on the rebound! NO! Frank wallops him with a clothesline instead! Bruder is down as Frank looks ready to hit the Mountain Top Knee Drop…crashing onto the canvas, as Bruder narrowly rolls out of the way in the nick of time!
Frank clutches his knee, shouting in pain as Bruder sizes him up before bringing the big man back to his feet, once again sending the champ to the ropes with an Irish whip…and this time, connecting with the powerslam! Bruder isn’t finished by a long shot however, grabbing Frank as he locks in the Cobra Clutch!
Frank is hurt bad here, but is refusing to give up despite Bruder cinching the hold in tight. Frank is fighting through this as much as he can, but finally drops to a knee once more. Clady checks on the champ, who appears to be fading as the ref raises Frank’s arm up and lets it drop.
This is followed up with a second raise of the arm…and the arm drops again. And now, the pivotal moment as Clady raises the arm one last time…and it falls! Clady calls for the bell as this one is officially over!
DING! DING! DING!
Robbins: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner by submission…All Business…ALEX BRUUUUUDEEEER!
Bruder drops Frank to the canvas as Clady raises his arm in victory to a chorus of boos from the crowd.
Moss: What a match this was, what a battle between King Kong Frank and Alex Bruder…but the Premier American Champion was felled by the Cobra Clutch, though it should be pointed out he did NOT submit!
Howley: All the credit in the world to the champ, he fought as hard as he could the whole time…but it just wasn’t enough for All Business!
Bruder takes his leave from the ring to continue his celebration as Frank slowly comes to, weakly rising to his feet to a massive pop from the crowd in support of the Smoky Mountain Savage as we cut away from ringside!
Vito Valentino vs The Undercover Lover
Robbins: Ladies and gentlemen the next matchup is scheduled for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit and is our MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING!
The fans get loud for realsies.
Robbins: Introducing first… Hailing from “The City of Love” New Orleans, Louisiana. He weighs in at 225 pounds… this is “Mr Hide Your Daughters and Mothers” THE UNDERCOVER LOVER!
Loud boos fill the Classic Wrestling studios, but the Undercover Lover treats them as compliments with a hand over his heart.
Robbins: and his opponent…
The fans begin buzzing with just that.
Robbins: Hailing from THE MECCA! Weighing in at 261 Pounds… This is “METRO” VITO VALENTINO!
The fans get very loud and raucous. Vito shows his thanks with many friendly waves to the crowd. Lover mocks him from his own corner.
The bell rings and this match is underway!
When they come out of the corner both men circle each other slowly. Finally Vito makes the first move by raising one hand to the sky for a test of strength. He cautiously puts it out there towards the Lover. UC considers it for a moment, and steps forward with his own hand raised to meet Vito’s. Just before they
touch and lock up, Lover pulls back, puts his hands behind his head and swivels his hips in the direction of Vito Valentino!
Howley: The Ultimate disrespect!
Vito chuckles and then throws a punch that lands in the side of the head of the Lover. He falls but gets right back up. Vito hits him again. The crowd loses it as Vito speeds up his attack and now chases the Lover across the ring. Undercover slides under the bottom rope and to the outside to get away. He yells at the referee to gain control of this madman!
Undercover Lover: Listen, I know he’s the former champ, but move him back dammit, I’ve got a cramp!
Lover slaps his leg, trying to get it back to tip top shape. Slowly he moves back in, but only when the referee pushes Vito back into a corner.
Moss: Lover a little more cautious after that last encounter!
Howley: Wouldn’t you be!?
Another lock up attempt, and this time Vito transitions it into a side headlock. After wrenching away for awhile, Vito moves into the corner and attempts to pull off a bulldog but the Lover tosses him onto his back instead, breaking the hold.
Moss: Very good reversal by the Lover there showing he’s more than just a freak in the sheets!
Howley: What did you just say?
Moss: Back to the match at hand partner, the champion is in trouble as the Lover stalks him as he tries to move to his feet!
When Vito stands up, Undercover Lover comes from behind him and tucks his own head under the arm of Vito.
Moss: Big back drop from the Lover lands Vito smack in the middle of the ring.
Undercover Lover attempts a very nonchalant cover of the former REAL Worlds Champion.
KICKOUT by Vito
After bickering once again with the official the Lover gets back to work. He lifts Valentino back to his feet and grabs him by the baldness. Beginning with a run he heads toward the turnbuckle with rude intentions.
Moss: Valentino blocks the attempt with his boot!…now he’s got the Lover by the hair! Vito slams Lovers head…Once! Twice! Three times!
The Undercover Lover bounces back to the middle of the ring very dramatically. Metro wastes no time and hops on top of Vito and slams his fist into the mask several times. Lover is reeling. Vito jerks him to his feet and and picks him up and slams him down. The fans are rocking. Vito grabs both of the legs of the Undercover Lover.
Moss: He’s looking for the Metro Avenue Deathlock!
Lover pulls Vito in and launches him back off using his legs as a springboard.
Howley: Not so fast! The Lover isn’t finished just yet!
Both men get back up and go for a clothesline and both men connect! They land next to one another. The fans get loud as both men look up at the lights, sweating and breathing heavy.
The official begins his count and at the count of 8 both men are up once again!
When they meet the Lover goes for a headbutt but Vito dodges it! Instead Vito reaches down and sweeps the legs with both arms. Without hesitation Vito wraps the legs and flips him over. Lover screams in pain and reaches for the ropes.
Moss: HES GOT THE METRO AVENUE DEATHLOCK LOCKED IN!
Before long the Lover has no choice but to submit to the referee.
The bell rings and the Eagles song begins.
“Life In the Fastlane ” plays while Vito’s hand is raised. The referee makes sure to keep between he and the Lover. Undercover holds his back while climbing to his feet. He’s very upset as he rolls under the bottom rope. From the back comes a very top heavy lady.
Moss: Who is that!?
Howley: I SAW HER FIRST!
She saunters over to the Lover and whispers something into his ear. With this he perks right up and follows her right through the curtain. He holds his back as he walks and lets out a “HAVE MERCY!” as he disappears.
Robbins: Ladies and Gentlemen here is your winner by submission, VITO VALENTINO!
Vito shakes his head, not knowing how to take the situation. Instead he hops out of the ring and heads over to the Classic fans and begins high fiving and signing autographs.
Moss: Well folks that’s going to wrap it up for us here at Classic Wrestling on RBTV tonight, catch us back here in two weeks for another action packed episode!
Howley: I still want to know who that was!
Moss: For my partner, Joel “Thunderbird” Howley, my name is Patrick Moss, and its been a pleasure broadcasting to you. Goodnight folks!