Welcome to Classic Wrestling: Episode 13
Instead of the usual Ozzy Osborne that greets us each and every week to begin Classic Wrestling on RBTV, we instead get the infamous “Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms playing through the Classic Studio. The fans, many dressed up in Christmas hats, and ugly sweaters stand and clap along to the song.
The usual video package is shown but this time there’s snowflakes and red and green lights surrounding the frame. The slams are timed pretty well with the one time only theme song, and we can see our commentary team is dressed appropriately as well.
We move over to Otto Price who’s standing poised and ready. He’s wearing his normal tuxedo for tonights show save for one small change. A mistletoe is affixed to his jacket pocket. He looks down at it and smiles before greeting the Classic Wrestling fans.
Otto Price: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to a Christmas Edition of Classic Wrestling on RBTV! I’m your host Otto Price, and I hope you’re having a holly jolly holiday! I’m excited you’ve decided to join us, as are my tag team partners….
The camera switches over to the commentary booth, where patrick Moss stands in full santa garb including a faux white beard. On the other hand THUNDERBIRD, has simply traded in his gold and black jacket for a red and green one of the same variety.
Howley: You look ridiculous Moss!
Moss: Welcome everyone! Thanks for tuning in, I hope you all find yourselves on the good list this year, unlike my partner who’s most definitely on the naughty list!
Howley: I better not be!
Back over to Otto-Pilot
Price: Thanks guys! We’ve got a huge night, but only one match to talk about right here right off the bat. Tonight in the MAIN EVENT of the evening we’ve got The Surf Express Bro, Bradlee Nelson going one on one with our REAL WORLDS HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! Vito Valentino and the championship IS ON THE LINE! It’s the biggest edition of Classic Wrestling TV ever!
He lets it hang out there so the fans can cheer on both fan favorites. They promptly do.
Price: Aside from that folks, we’ve got some big matchups for you but we don’t know what they are!? It’s a Christmas Mystery Extravaganza! The way this is going to work is this…
The camera cuts to a shot backstage where a beautiful white christmas tree is decorated with lights, colors, bulbs and tinsel. Underneath it is a litany of Christmas presents, all wrapped up with bows on top. Otto does a voice over.
Price: One by one wrestlers will come meet me backstage by the tree, they will select a gift and will have to fight the person/ or persons whose names are in the box with little to no notice! The Classic roster has been preparing all week to face mystery men, but the wait is finally over! We’re going to find out who’s facing who! RIGHT NOW!
The “Jingle Bell Rock” music starts up again as Otto Price makes his way backstage. It isn’t long before he’s in front of the tree standing and smiling. Otto checks his cue card and begins up again as the music fades out.
“Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet, Jingle around the clock”
Price: Alright the first man up tonight to choose their opponent is… Our PREMIER AMERICAN CHAMPION! Shujin Yama!
The fans boo loudly in the arena, as Sensei Abraham Lincoln comes around the corner smiling. Behind him is the large and intimidating Shujin Yama walking slowly with the championship thrown over his shoulder.
Price: Important note for Shujin Yama…
Lincoln whispers something to Otto.
Price: The ONLY man in Classic Wrestling history to successfully defend his championship by the way!
Lincoln appears appeased.
Price: The Premier American Championship WILL NOT be on the line in this matchup! Shujin Yama instead will have the opportunity to select his opponent… kind of. He won’t know who’s in what box, instead he will simply pick a box and hand it to me for the reveal.
Yama doesn’t flinch or make any movement when Otto is done. Instead Sensei Abraham Lincoln turns around with joy and eyes all the gifts. He does one lap around the tree to eye up all the boxes, looking for any indication of who might be inside. He finds none. With the utmost confidence, Sensei Abe Lincoln grabs two boxes sitting right next to one another. He lifts them both and hands them to Otto who looks confused.
Price: Excuse me Sensei Lincoln, you’re only supposed to choose one box…
The sensei shakes his head slowly before speaking into Otto’s Mic.
Lincoln: Otto-San! This is not just an opportunity for Shujin Yama to showcase his prowess in professional wrestling, but an opportunity to send a message to the throngs of wrestlers backstage that his Premier American Championship is not up for grabs. This will be a message to the masses, not to step up against Shujin Yama, for he is unbeatable!
Otto shrugs and shakes his head before opening the first present. He slips the bow off before tearing into the paper with reckless abandon. Once free he opens the box and pulls out an 8 x 10.
Otto Price: The first wrestler pulled is SCOTT HUNTER!
Back on the studio floor, the commentary team is very surprised.
Moss: Yama vs Scott Hunter!
Howley: Wait Moss, there’s another box!
Back to Otto-San.
Price: Well here we go with the second box in what will now be a Triple Threat Matchup I guess!
He opens the second box with a curiosity filled frenzy. He slowly pulls out the second 8×10 which is facing the camera.
Moss: IT’S HARRY CHEST! Classic-Wrestling’s resident super hero!
Howley: So now because Yama picked two we get a triple threat?
Moss: That’s the way it sounds Thunderbird!
Howley: When’s that happening!?
Back to Price.
Price: AND THAT MATCH IS RIGHT AFTER THIS WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS!!
Harry Chest vs Shujin Yama vs Scott Hunter
We come back from the break and Harry Chest and Scott Hunter have already made their way to the ring. Shujin Yama meanwhile is just now entering through the ropes. The Premier American Championship now across the shoulder of Sensei Abraham Lincoln on the outside. He removes his robe and stretches in his corner, never taking his eyes off his opponents.
Moss: Looks like Hunter and Harry have drawn the short end of the stick this week.
Howley: Seems like it. Yama has been on a tear holding that title with a death grip.
Moss: Let’s see how both of these men deal with the imposing Yama.
The bell rings. Yama stands in his corner, arms crossed, looking between the two other men. First Hunter is the first to run at him. Hunter leaps into the air but is caught and slammed down to the mat. Clutching his lower spine Hunter rolls on the mat. Harry looks down at Hunter and then to Yama. Yama laughs and begins to stalk Harry. Harry begins throwing everything he can at the larger Yama. Forearms, chops, closed fist punches, but nothing seems to deter the big man from advancing. Yama grabs Harry by the back of the neck and whips him into the ropes. As Harry comes back to Yama, he is grabbed under the armpits and thrown high into the air.
Moss: The power of Yama is on full display…
Howley: Harry Chest is actually flying.
Moss: But what goes up.
Howley: Must come down.
Chest slams face first onto the mat. Yama looks over to where Hunter was and he’s nowhere to be found. He huffs and picks up Harry and sends him into the corner. With a full head of steam Yama runs at him, only for Harry to duck out of the way at the last possible second, causing Yama to slam face first into the turnbuckle. As Yama recoils backwards, Harry climbs to the second rope and clubs him with an ax handle smash. Yama still doesn’t go down.
Moss: Yama is out on his feet… Wait here comes Scott Hunter!
Howley: Where did he come from?
Hunter slides into the ring and launches himself towards Yama’s knee, causing it to buckle. Yama goes down to a knee, as Harry kicks him square in the chest. Yama tried to grab the leg but was unable to do so. Hunter meanwhile runs the ropes and unleashes a clothesline to the back of Yama’s head.
Howley: This isn’t supposed to be a two on one!
Moss: When you’re Yama…. It’s always everyone against you!
Howley: Unless….
Moss: Unless you can match him in size and strength.
Harry and Hunter continue to stomp away at the larger Yama and seem to have incapacitated him. Happy with their work the two shake hands and give each other a nod. As both men begin fighting each other.
Moss: See it was only temporary!
Howley: Shouldn’t have ever happened to begin with.
Harry gets the upper hand on Hunter who is whipped into the ropes and as he comes back and is back body dropped to the mat. Harry goes for a quick pin.
1!
Hunter powers out of the pin, Harry nods and pulls Hunter to his feet. Hunter grabs Harry by the waist and side slams him to the mat, and hooks a leg.
1!
Yama was able to get up and break the pin, as Hunter is dragged away and tossed to the corner. Yama runs at Hunter and smashes into him. Hunter lifelessly slides to the mat in a seated position. Yama quickly turns his attention towards Harry. Grabbing Harry by the chest hair and dragging him to the opposite corner he calls for it.
Moss: It might be time for the Tsukaminage!
Howley: Bless you.
Yama ascends to the second rope and leaps off into the sitting senton. Rather than go for the pin Yama climbs the ropes a second time.
Moss: Not another one!
Howley: This will show them…
As Yama climbs Hunter comes alive and rolls Harry out of the ring unbeknownst to Yama. Hunter then attacks the same knee he buckled earlier. With a flurry of elbows and chops. Hunter climbs to the second rope next to Yama, as the two of them trade punches, Hunter is able to maneuver himself in front of the big man, and plant a foot directly into his chest. Sending him flying to the mat with a thunderous thud.
Moss: Smart of Hunter to go after the knee again, even smarter to take him off of his feet.
Howley: Unfortunately I have to agree.
Hunter jumps down from the middle rope and quickly locks in his Figure Four LegLock. Hunter tries to arch his back to gain more leverage but it’s still not right from earlier. Yama struggles and struggles to roll it over. And he does.
Howley: That’s right show him hooooo…..
Moss: Hunter keeps the momentum going.
As Yama rolls it over Hunter is able to keep it going and they ended up in the middle of the ring with Hunter maintaining control. Using every bit of energy he had Hunter was able to arch his back. Yama raises his hand to tap out, and just as he does so Harry Chest slides under the bottom rope….. just a second too late as Yama signify’s that he gives up.
The bell rings….
Moss: WOW WHAT AN UPSET!
“Burning Heart” by Survivor hits the PA system as the fans boo. Scott Hunter finally releases the hold and pulls himself to his feet. The official goes to raise his arm but he pulls away, wanting all the glory for himself. Climbing the second turnbuckle Scott Hunter poses to the fans and proclaims he’s the bestest.
Howley: I can’t believe it…. Yama hasn’t lost a match since winning that Premier American Championship, and now to Scott Hunter!
Moss: I would say he’s earned himself a title match with the big man!
Howley: Hold on now Moss, that’s a little premature!
Robbins: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner by submission SCOTT HUNTER!
Moss: He just made him give up in the middle of the ring!
Howley: Let’s see him do it twice!
Coming Soon To Classic Wrestling
The intro to “Turn Up the Radio” by Autograph plays.
Turn it up!
Girl!
We see a figure standing in the shadows posing. The lights illuminate to show a man with chiseled muscles. He poses in front of the mirror as the song continues.
I’m working hard, you’re working too
We do it every day
For every minute I have to work
I need a minute of play
Day in day out all week long
Things go better with rock
The only time I turn it down
Is when I’m sleepin’ it off
Turn up the radio
I need the music, gimme some more
Turn up the radio
I want to feel it got to gimme some more
Now listen!
He smiles, his pearly white teeth reflecting the light as we see the words “Miracles do come true” flash across the screen followed closely by the words “Derek Miracle coming soon!”
The scene ends as we return to the show.
A Very BDSM Christmas
Backstage we find Otto Price flirting with a reindeer.
There are many extras on the scene now, dressed in various christmas themed costumes. We see Donner and Blitzen, and Otto with Vixen. There are elves and even a grinch. All of them sit around and talk until Otto notices the camera, he jumps and returns to his podium, setting down a cup of what we can assume is eggnog.
Otto Price: Hello Classic Wrestling fans and welcome back, I was just discussing that impressive win by Scott Hunter with a very lovely lady! That man is going places, but that brings us to our next bout on the evening, and I’m pleased to be joined by…
He looks off camera
Price: Wait, it’s not your turn.
OSV: Whoa, watch it, coming through…. BEEP…BEEP…BEEEP… backing up here!
Bobby Dean slowly backs into the frame carrying his own gifts. He bumps the podium with his butt as he does. Price stops it from turning over.
Price: Bobby Dean what are you doing here!? You’re on the list but not until later on tonight!
Beautiful Bobby Dean pulls a gift from on top of his stack and hands it to Otto Price.
Price: Well, thank you for this, but this is a bit of a role reversal.
Otto opens the gift and reaches in and pulls out a big trophy shaped like “#2” and on the bottom says “Bobby Dean”
Bobby Dean: You’re welcome, Bobbo! That right there is the brand new #2 trophy! Just to remind everyone here at Classic Wrestling that the FANS voted me #2 in their hearts! I’m excited, Barry told me he was excited, and I brought enough of these to give to everyone in the back!
Price face palms before regaining composure.
Price: Well Bobby Dean, while you’re here, why don’t you pick a gift and see what Ol Saint Nick has in store for you?
BBD sets his own stack down and meanders over to the gifts around the Classic tree. He looks over his shoulder.
Bobby Dean: I’ll pick TWO! Do you know why Bobbo?
Price: I think we all know why…
Dean ignores the comment and grabs two boxes. He brings them back to the podium and opens them quickly like a hungry kid with a snack pack. Confidently he hands them both to Otto without looking inside them. The host of the show does the honors. pulls out the cards…
Price: THE BOLTS!
The lights flash two times which leaves both men looking up at them.
Dean: What does that mean!?
Price: Well I guess that means that this other box is your tag team partner tonight.
BBD Smiles.
Dean: I’m a tag team spatulist if you didn’t know. Who’s the lucky guy!?
Otto looks in the box and then back at Bobby Dean. Almost afraid to show him.
Bobby starts to look worried. Otto slowly pulls the card out.
Price: RANDALL SCHWARTZ!
Bobby Dean kicks his own stack of presents. Thunderbird audibly laughs out loud accidentally.
Dean: Well that’s just great! Holly Jolly Christmas!
Bobby Dean marches off as the camera pans down to the boxes lying scattered, with a bunch of “#2s” everywhere.
Bobby Dean/Randall Schwartz vs THE BOLTS
Robbins: Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
“You’re the Best” by Joe Esposito plays through the studio’s audio system, garnering a big pop from the Cleveland crowd!
Robbins: Making his way to the ring from the 3rd Stall on the Right by way of the Nearest Men’s Room, weighing in tonight at a whopping 369…and a half…pounds…he is BEAUTIFUL…BOBBY…DEEEEEEEEEAN!
Bobby makes his way to the ring, with his usual tag team partner noticeably absent due to the rare occasion of the Beautiful One teaming with someone else.
Moss: You can’t help but wonder what’s on Bobby’s mind, knowing that tonight’s mystery draw placed him in a tag match with Randall Schwartz instead of teaming with his pal Lunchbox Larry.
Howley: The only thing I’m wondering is how quickly Randall is gonna realize this is a bad situation for himself and drop Bobby like a bad habit!
The cheering for Bobby quickly turns into a chorus of jeers however as “March and Fanfare” begins to play, signaling the arrival of Bobby’s tag partner for the evening.
Robbins: And his tag team partner…hailing from Hollywood, weighing in at 176 pounds, he is the Entertainer…RANDALL…SCHWARRRRTZ!
The jeers only get louder as Randall steps out…but we see Walt Wehzl standing next to him, the two clearly in the middle of a conversation before Wehzl scampers off. Randall taunts the crowd as he approaches the ring, where a noticeably concerned and frustrated Bobby Dean awaits him.
Moss: Wait a minute, what’s going on here!?
Howley: Maybe Randall just needed to be assured by Wehzl that he won’t get killed here tonight! It’s nearly Christmas after all, nothing jolly or festive about being stomped into dust!
Randall and Bobby wait for their opponents as “Ions” begins playing…but the Bolts get the jump on them first, sliding out from beneath the ring to set up the sneak attack! The ref is doing all he can to maintain order, finally doing so before calling for the opening bell!
DING! DING! DING!
As the bell rings, we see Bobby and Randall arguing over who should start the match first. Randall starts favoring his right arm, pointing out an “uncertainty” over whether he should even compete tonight, forcing Bobby to start off the match against Huginn.
Howley: Randall looking worse for wear before this match even started? You hate to see it, Moss!
Moss: I’ll be honest, I have my doubts about his injury…but no doubts about Bobby giving it his all tonight!
Bobby goes to lock up with Huginn, who immediately sends the former tag champion to the ropes looking for a clothesline on the rebound…but Dean dodges it just in the nick of time, hitting Huginn with a clothesline of his own instead!
Moss: Big ol’ clothesline knocking Huginn down! Love to see it, Howley.
Howley: Hey, don’t twist my words around on me pal!
In the midst of the commentary argument, we see Bobby hitting some stops on Huginn before offering a tag to Randall…who still refuses, citing his “injured arm” to the chagrin of BBD. Bobby just shakes his head before turning his attention back to Huginn, who has risen back to his feet to tag in Muninn!
Moss: Uh oh, here comes trouble!
Howley: Muninn’s just about to burst Bobby’s bubble!
Muninn runs in, quickly going on the attack with some hard lefts and rights on Bobby before sending the big man to the corner. Muninn taunts Randall, who clearly wants no part of the situation as Muninn charges at the corner, sandwiching Dean between himself and the corner…but Bobby seems unfazed by it!
Howley: Muninn, you’re gonna have to hit a lot harder than that to shake Bobby Dean!
Moss: Bobby looks like he’s about to rock Muninn’s clock here!
Bobby gets some big right hands on Muninn, sending the Bolt to the ropes before going for the clothesline…but Muninn ducks under! Muninn with a tag back to Huginn, and both Bolts start a big beatdown on Bobby!
Moss: Oh, come on! There’s no reason to do this to Bobby Dean!
Howley: Oh hey, looks like Randall might actually do something here!
Randall has seen enough…and hops off the ring apron! Still favoring that “injured” arm, Schwartz slinks off to the backstage area leaving Bobby Dean all alone with the Bolts…but the former tag champ is starting to mount a comeback! The struggle is evident as his breath gets heavier with each punch, sending Muninn over the top rope to the outside before sending Huginn to the canvas before running the ropes, taking a moment to catch his breath before the Earthquake Splash!
Moss: There it is! Bobby Dean has fallen and Huginn can’t get up!
Howley: Doesn’t bode well for the Bolts here!
Bobby goes for the cover, and Muninn is still down on the outside as the ref makes the count!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING! DING! DING!
Robbins: Here is your winner…RANDALL SCHWARTZ AND–
Robbins is cut off by a returning Randall Schwartz, holding an envelope in his hand as he grabs the microphone.
Schwartz: Oh no you don’t, I refuse to be associated with this man! My investigation has finally come to a close, Bobby Dean, and I know it was YOU who stole my wrestler’s license!
This draws boos from the crowd, more likely just in disapproval of the idea of Randall wrestling ever again than anything.
Schwartz: Wehzl smartened me up to this, Bobbo, and that’s why I ditched ya! Hopefully, that looney Larry will realize what you really are and follow suit, but as far as I’m concerned you’re no tag partner of mine!
With that, Randall leaves the ring to follow the Bolts to the backstage, leaving Bobby to fret over this just briefly before soaking in the appreciation of the crowd for standing tall in this tag team affair tonight!
Christmas is All Business
The mutton chops of Alex Bruder are immediately recognized as he stands in front of Otto Price and his podium. Otto holds the microphone over the shoulder of Alex Bruder who stares daggers at the camera.
Alex Bruder: As you know, it’s nearly Christmas time. While you look forward to a fat man coming down your chimney and delivering you make believe gifts, Alex Bruder will be looking forward to a little year end bonus from Classic Wrestling. Once again I’m tasked with beating one of the many lesser man they set before me each and every week.
Otto clears his throat, and sounds a little uncomfortable.
Price: Do you want to select a gift Mr. Bruder?
Bruder breaks his stance to look back at Price.
Alex Bruder: No, I’m not here to play games and choose presents and do whatever cute little thing you put together. I’m here to hurt people, plain and simple. You give me a name, and I’ll go beat them!
Otto slowly steps back, always keeping his front to Bruder. He sees the first gift he nears and grabs it quickly. He moves back to the podium and opens it up. Bruder faces the camera once again.
Alex Bruder: I’m ready.
Otto pulls the card out of the box and while half excited he’s also clearly afraid to say anything to Bruder about it.
Instead he hands the card over his shoulder. Bruder plucks it out of his hands, and only his eyes move down as he reads the card. His expression quickly changes. His eyebrows raise quickly and his mouth slightly agape, then finally it rests on anger.
All Business turns and throws the card back at Otto and walks off set in one fluid motion. The card lands face up on the floor and the camera zooms in.
“FERAL” FREDDY KILGORE
Freddy Kilgore vs Alex Bruder
“Wildside” by Motley Crue plays over the loudspeakers and the fans come alive for one of their favorite Classic Superstars, as he and WildKat burst through the curtain. The pair run past the fans who reach out, eager to just get to touch the muscles of the Feral one.
Robbins: Ladies and Gentlemen, coming to the ring first, Hailing from the WILDSIDE! Being accompanied to the ring by WILDKAT! He weighs 275 lbs. “FERAL” FREDDY KILGORE!
Papa Wild Thing slides under the bottom rope and then bounces off of them a couple times. The fans react with ridiculous enthusiasm.
“All Business” Alex Bruder comes out to “Train of Consequences” b Megadeath, the lights lowered and a single spotlight on him. as he saunters through the curtain.
Robbins: And his opponent… Hailing from Hillsboro, North Dakota, weighing in at 238 lbs… “ALL BUSINESS” ALEX BRUDER!
He ignores the crowd, not returning their insults. Using the stairs Bruder makes his way onto the ring, wiping his boots on the apron, and goes to his corner. Bruder is found pulling against the top ropes, a mixture of last-minute stretching and testing the rope’s tension.
Freddy Kilgore is amped up before the bell rings. A quiet calm from Always Business Alex Bruder. Kilgore explodes out of his corner towards Bruder, leveling him with a massive clothesline. Bruder hops up and is met by a shoulder tackle as soon as he’s on his feet. Kilgore lifts Bruder up to his feet and tries to lift him but is met with a thumb to the eye, causing Kilgore to drop Bruder to his feet. Alex levels Freddy with a forearm and then an arm drag, taking Kilgore down to the mat.
Moss: This is smart by Alex. You’ve gotta keep Kilgore from going on a run.
Howley: There’s a reason why he’s a former Champion, and it isn’t because he’s an idiot.
Moss: Right you are, as much as that pains me to say.
With a knee in the middle of Kilgore’s back, Bruder locks his fingers under Freddy’s chin and pulls back. Kilgore tries to break the hold, but every time he frees a hand Alex clubs him in the side of the head and reapplies the hold. The ref constantly asks Kilgore if he’s going to give up, but is only met with a few grunts and continued fighting.
Moss: There’s absolutely no quit in Kilgore…
Howley: Maybe there should be, then maybe he’d be able to survive and maybe one day carry Bruder’s bags for him.
Moss: Now why would he? You know what, never mind.
Slowly Kilgore is able to inch his way to the bottom rope and gets a foot under. The ref starts the count and Bruder doesn’t release the hold until the count of four.
Moss: Bruder is taking all the time allotted to him, without getting tossed.
Howley: I said it once, I’ll say it again, HE ISN’T an idiot!
Bruder gets to his feet and brushes himself off before going on the attack once again. With a flurry of stomps and with one big push, he knocks Kilgore to the floor. Bruder is right behind him and drags him towards the railing. Exposing Kilgore’s chest, and chopping him. The resounding echo causes the fans to WOOO!.. Bruder waves the fans off and unloads another heavy chop as the ref finally begins his count.
1!
Kilgore falls to the floor, as Bruder grabs both of his legs.
2!
Bruder falls back while holding Kilgore’s legs, sending him crashing into the apron head first.
3!
All Business grabs Kilgore by the back of the head and slams it face first into the apron and then drags him quickly to the corner post.
4!
As Bruder tries to wrap Kilgore’s face around the post he gets a hand up and stops the momentum.
5!
Kilgore sends Bruder into the post and subsequently down to the mat on the floor.
6!
As Kilgore hammers on the back of Bruder with clubbing blows, Bruder manages to get to the barricade. As Kilgore reaches back Bruder ducks the strike and back body drops Kilgore onto the other side of the barricade.
7!
Bruder manages to slide into the ring under the bottom rope. Bruder holds himself up watching intently where Kilgore was dumped.
8!
Bruder manages to notice no movement and begins to celebrate early.
Moss: It seems like Bruder believes he’s already won.
Howley: That’s because he’s tamed Freddy Kilgore!
9!
As Bruder turns his back to where Kilgore was and continues to celebrate, Kilgore starts to shake and quickly make his way to his feed shaking his head.
Howley: What’s he doing!?
Moss: He’s pumping himself up!
As the referee goes to count the 10, Freddy Kilgore gets in the ring, hyped up and rattling the top rope screaming like a mad man.
Moss: Somehow Kilgore is back in the ring!
Howley: And Bruder thinks he’s won!
Moss: I don’t think the ref made it to Ten?
As Bruder turns around his face is in shock. Just believing he had won Bruder pleads with the ref, but nothing comes of it. Bruder cautiously looks at Kilgore who is running at him, Kilgore lifts his boot.
Moss: CALL OF THE WILD!
Howley: NOT SO FAST!
Bruder ducks under the boot and recoils off the ropes, but so does Kilgore. Who this time doesn’t telegraph the boot, but gets it up, right as Bruder lowers his guard. Kilgore lands on top of Bruder and hooks the leg.
1!
2!
3!
Moss: Call of the Wild lands flush!
Howley: This match should’ve been over with the countout!
Moss: Well it wasn’t and there’s your winner!
“Wildside” by Motley Crue plays loud in the arena and the fans come unglued. All rise to their feet almost simultaneous with the three count.
Robbins: HERE IS YOUR WINNER… “FERAL” FREDDY KILGORE!
Moss: What a great matchup, and I promise, this won’t be the last time we see these two in the Classic Ring together!
How Gordy Stole Christmas
The hostess with the mostest, Otto Price is once again gracing our beautiful screens. He’s lost his suit jacket, and is wearing an ugly christmas sweater. He greets us with a smile and a female reindeer on each side.
Price: Alight ladies and gentlemen we’ve had a lot of fun times tonight and this year really! Before I sign off for the evening for you to enjoy our last two matches, including one for the REAL WORLDS CHAMPIONSHIP, We’ve got just a few more gifts to get to! At this time, I’d like to introduce Hilton Promotions!
The fans in the arena boo as the Texans come out with their manager, both in wrestling and in business. Unfortunately tonight they are sans McConaughey. Gordy immediately starts to mess with Ottos hair and bully him up just a little.
Lovett: Got Dang boy look atchu. You just a little feller in his little christmas sweater. Look at eem Felton!
Bigsby walks up to the podium and laughs but doesn’t get involved right away. Meanwhile Lovett is still poking and proding when Doris reaches the podium and sighs.
Hilton: Ugh, Let’s get this over with!
Otto tries to talk through Gordy contorting his face for fun.
Price: Gooo ahead and sssselect two pressssnts.
Gordy lets go of him and looks surprised.
Lovett: Well innat somethin. The little drummer boy wants us to pick TWO of dem presents.
Felton moves over towards the gifts.
Lovett: I say we jus gon take ONE!
Bigsby grabs one of the 3 remaining gifts and opens it. He smiles and hands the card to Otto Price before saying to the camera.
Bigsby: Yo Carlos! When they wipe you off the mat tonight you ain’t goin to wake up until 2022.
Lovett: AHAHAHAHAAAAAAH
Hilton snaps her fingers and the boys follow her off camera. A disheveled Otto Price stands with a mic in his hand. Gordy Lovett can be heard cackling down the hallway.
Price: Carlos Ruiz vs ….Hilton Promotions?
Carlos Ruiz vs Hilton Promotions (handicap)
Robbins: The following contest is a Handicap Match, scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…
“Bombeleo” by The Gypsy Kings plays over the PA system and the Classic fans get to their feet. It isn’t long before everyone’s favorite Spaniard comes through the curtain. He’s fired up and shows his love to the fans.
Robbins: Hailing from Madrid, Spain… Weighing in at 212 pounds! “The Spanish Luchadore!” CARLOS RUUUUIIIIIZZZZZZZZ!
Carlos rolls into the ring and hops up to his feet. He stands on the second turnbuckle and motions that the championship will soon be around his waist before finally removing his sunglasses and tossing them into the crowd. His theme song fades out…but Gordy Lovett and Felton Bigsby come running down to the ring, getting the jump on him just as the opening bell rings!
DING! DING! DING!
The chaos quickly settles as Lovett heads to the apron, allowing Bigsby to continue the attack on Ruiz as we see Doris now at ringside directing traffic. Bigsby sends Ruiz to the corner, where he lays in some stomps for good measure before tagging in Lovett who really lays the boots in heavy to the midsection of the Spanish Luchadore!
Moss: Hilton Promotions really taking it to Carlos in the early goings here!
Howley: They know how to keep a man like him grounded, that’s for sure!
Lovett is refusing to let up as he wraps the arms of Ruiz around the top rope, keeping a nice wide opening before hitting a lariat in the corner! This brings Carlos to the canvas, as Lovett makes a tag back to Bigsby. The two gang up on Ruiz as they bring him back to his feet, only to send him to the ropes looking for a double clothesline…but the Spanish Luchadore ducks under, launching himself off the ropes to hit a cross body on both men!
Moss: Wow! What a maneuv–
Howley: HEY! Careful what you say there!
The crowd is loving every moment of this as Carlos starts to mount a comeback, sending Lovett over the top rope to the outside before turning his attention to Bigsby…who rears back and clocks Carlos with a haymaker! Bigsby goes for the cover, confident in the damage done!
ONE!
TWO!
NO!
Moss: Carlos just manages to kick out, saving the match for himself!
Howley: I don’t believe it, look at the tenacity on him!
Carlos slowly gets to his feet, the crowd fully behind him as he ducks a clothesline attempt by Bigsby before sending him to the corner with a dropkick! Carlos charges at Felton, but Lovett is back on the apron and tags himself in before running at Carlos with a massive lariat! Gordy brings the Spanish Luchadore back to his feet, but Carlos counters into a neckbreaker bringing both men down to the canvas!
Moss: Carlos taking down Lovett with that neckbreaker, but they both look hurt now!
Howley: Yeah, and it looks like Doris is not thrilled about it!
Having seen quite enough of this, Doris steps up onto the apron to argue with the ref who insists that she needs to step down and stay out of this match as Carlos and Gordy both get to their feet…and the distraction by Doris is enough for Gordy to swing Carlos around before connecting with a low blow! The crowd absolutely loathe what they see, booing as Gordy lifts Carlos up and into the Texas Stampede! Colliding the Spanish Luchador into the nearest corner and then onto the canvas, Gordy goes for the cover!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING! DING! DING!
Robbins: Here are your winners, Gordy Lovett and Felton Bigsby…HILTON PROMOOOOTIONNNNS!
The ref goes to raise their arms in victory, but it doesn’t seem like they’re finished just yet as they immediately go back to attacking Ruiz! The ref tries to break this up but is forced to call for backup as Doris continues to give directions from ringside! More officials come down but it’s not enough until suddenly, someone else comes running in from backstage!
Howley: Who in the world is that!?
Moss: Wait, I think I know! That’s…that’s Derek Miracle!
The crowd is on their feet as Derek slides into the ring, coming in hot as he goes for the save sending Bigsby followed by Lovett out of the ring! The two men regroup on the entranceway, Doris telling them to save their energy for another fight as Derek shouts at them from the ring! Officials check on Carlos, who manages himself back to his feet before standing beside Derek to stare the Hilton Promotions team down!
REAL WORLDS CHAMPIONSHIP: Bradlee Nelson vs Vito Valentino (C)
Moss: Well Thunderbird it’s time for our MAIN EVENT of the evening!
Howley: I’m ready Moss, this is one I’ve been waiting on since last weeks written agreement signing! Both these guys seem to be enamored with me and facing one another, I hope SOMEONE has their eye on the prize…
Moss: and that prize is the richest prize in the sport today! The Classic Wrestling REAL Worlds Championship!
The familiar guitar licks and drum beats to “Nothin’ But a Good Time” by Poison hit your eardrums and from the back bounds Bowie Abrams and Bradlee Nelson in matching long tights and miles-wide smiles. They play to the studio audience, getting them into the show as they make their way to the ring. Once they’re between the ropes, they’ll flex and pose a bit for the laaaaadies!
Robbins: Ladies and gentlemen, this following contest is scheduled for one fall ,and is for the Classic Wrestling REAL WORLDS CHAMPIONSHIP!
The fans get excited at the announcement.
Moss: FOR THE FIRST TIME ON LIVE TV!
Robbins: Already in the ring… Being accompanied by BOWIE ABRAMS… is the challenger. He hails from Pocatello, Idaho… weighing in at 217 lbs… BRADLEE NELSON!
Bradlee poses for the fans with his fellow SURF EXPRESS BRO, before Bowie leaves the ring, clapping on his tag team partner.
The famous guitar solo opening of the Eagles’ classic “Life in the Fast Lane” hits the speakers and the crowd goes bananas! Vito “Metro” Valentino makes his way down to the ringside area, wearing purpleand black pants with black fingerless gloves and white boots with the letters “VV” written in classic cursive handwriting on each side.
Robbins: And his opponent….hailing from METROPOLIS! Weighing 261 lbs….. He is the reigning and DEFENDING….REAL WORLDS CHAMPION! …THIS IS “METRO” VITO VALENTINO!
With a fist in the air, he stops at the steps where the roar of the crowd washes over him like a warm blanket. After pounding the steps three times for good luck, he quickly gets into the ring, ascends a turnbuckle, and raises another fist for the crowd, his big gold Championship shines in the lights. Climbing back down, he stretches his arms, shoulders, and unclips the REAL Worlds Heavyweight Championship before handing it to the official Chip Newman.
The official moves to the middle of the ring and holds the championship high into the air to signify this match’s stakes.
Moss: Never before has this championship been defended on Classic Wrestling Television! This is an exclusive event folks!
Howley: Let’s get the show on the road Newman!
Both men meet in the middle of the ring with Bradlee the first to offer his fist as a sign of respect. Vito looks down at it, before bumping fists with him. The two then back up and begin to circle one another.
DING DING DING
Bradlee and Vito tie up in the middle of the ring, Vito begins to back Bradlee up with his 50 lbs of weight advantage but Bradlee uses Vito’s own momentum against him when he ducks under and behind. Vito reaches between his own legs to try to take down the Bro, however, Bradlee was ready for it and avoids the grasp. Instead, he turns Vito around and sends him running off the ropes. Bradlee drops down and Vito runs over top of him. Bradlee back up now with a leapfrog as Vito keeps running. Finally as he bounces back a third time, Bradlee goes for a huge dropkick, but Vito catches the ropes and holds on. Bradlee finds nothing but the mat but is quick to a knee to avoid taking his eyes off the champion. The fans clap as Vito regroups.
Moss: Competitive start to this match here. Yes Vito has a small size advantage but as quick as Bradlee is, I’m not sure if it’s a help or a hindrance?
Howley: Two young men in fantastic shape, this could very well come down to who has more in the tank Moss…
Back in the ring the two tie up one more time. This time Vito is the one to break the tie up and instead bring an open hand down across the chest of Bradlee. The sound echoes through the Classic Studio as Bradlee holds his chest in pain. Vito pulls Bradlee’s hand out of the way and comes down hard with another chop in the same place.
Vito: Sorry Bro! Gotta do it!
That second of time wasted was enough for Bradlee to duck down and sweep the leg out from under the champion. Vito hits the mat on his back and Bradlee is already climbing the turnbuckle. As Valentino finds his feet, he turns right into a second rope shoulder block that sends both men tumbling to the ground.
The fans jump up when both men hit the mat. Quickly Vito and Bradlee get to their feet, this time Vito holds his shoulder a bit. Bradlee grabs an arm and twists it with a top wrist lock. He looks down at Bowie who smiles and gives him a thumbs up the same way KeanBro did in Point Break.
Vito meanwhile turns the hold around by somersaulting forward, then he rolls over to his feet and arm drags Bradlee across the ring. Both men get up and run at one another again, Vito this time hits a hip toss on the youngster. Vito is fired up and calls for Bradlee to come at him, but Bradlee stays in his corner, getting some consultation from his tag team partner.
Moss: This action is back and forth! They seem pretty evenly matched!
Howley: You’re not kidding, who’s going to get the advantage!
That question is quickly answered as they go back to grapple and Vito is able to bring a high knee into the gut of Bradlee Nelson, Nelson folds over and Vito uses the opportunity to suplex him high into the air before slamming him down on the mat. Vito flows over and goes for the matches first pinfall attempt.
ONE!
TWO!
Kickout just after two!
Moss: Vito just looking to surprise the youngster at this point.
Vito gets up and let’s no time pass before he’s got a rear chin lock on the bro. The fans begin a slowcount which Bowie on the outside starts to lead, and slowly Bradlee powers back up to his feet. His hands are shaking high in the air as he uses the crowds positivity to reach deep. He breaks the chinlock with a couple back elbows and runs off the ropes. When he comes back he goes for a cross body block but Vito catches him in mid air. Valentino measures him up and runs him into the turnbuckle back first. Bradlee’s feet intertwine and before he knows it, he’s in a tree of woe position.
The official tried to untie the feet of Bradlee, and much to Vito’s credit, he backs away and allows the referee to do so. Once Nelson is clear of the turnbuckle, Vito comes back in fairly and pulls Nelson up by the head and neck. He’s able to hook behind Bradlee and take him down with a big belly to back suplex. Nelson finds himself holding his neck as he collides with the mat.
Howley: The champ is on top of Nelson again, not giving him an ounce of breathing room, really good strategy.
Vito grabs a side headlock and slowly pulls Bradlee back to his feet using it. On the outside Bowie slaps the mat and encourages his tag team partner to fire back. Vito get’s him to a vertical base and irish whips him off the ropes. On the return Bradlee ducks the clothesline attempt and keeps running!
Moss: Vito Valentino with the miss, turns around, RUNNING JUMPING BACK ELBOW by Bradlee Nelson! He connects!
A section of the fans in neon colors jump up with excitement and Bowie screams for Bradlee to keep going. Bradlee dives on top of the champion and goes for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT~!
Moss: Vito Valentino kicks out just in time! That back elbow was absolutely brutal, let’s take another look!
The replay shows the elbow connect flush with the nose of the REAL World’s Champion. We cut back to the live shot and Vito sits up with blood pouring out of nose.
Howley: Uh oh Moss, The champ is bloody! That shot was dead on the bridge of the nose, I don’t know if you’ve ever been hit in the nose, but it’s almost like temporary blindness. Your eyes water up, you can’t see, your head is in a panic mode, and now on top of that he’s going to have issue breathing with blood pouring from his nasal passage.
Moss: Great analysis Thunderbird!
Howley: I used to do this for a living, you know!
Both men get to their feet, Vito just realizes that he’s bleeding when he goes to get up and sees the dripping. He checks his nose with his hand and shrugs. Bradlee says “Sorry Bro” before jumping right back onto Vito with a dropkick that knocks them both down. Both men get back up, and Bradlee hits another dropkick. Both men get back up, and the same thing happens a third time. The fans are amazed and now clapping impressively at Bradlee’s quickness. Vito falls into the turnbuckle and Bradlee get’s fired up. He pulls Vito by the back of the head out of the corner and onto the mat. Nelson then moves to the top rope as Vito begins to get back up.
Moss: HERE IT COMES!
Howley: What’s he call it Moss!?
Bradlee jumps and pulls his legs up.
Moss: FIRE! IT! UP!
The missile dropkick comes off the top rope and Vito turns right into it. It lands flush against his head and neck and sends Vito flying across the ring. Bradlee crawls over as frantically as possible and hooks the leg.
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Moss: VITO IS STILL ALIVE!?
Howley: It’s the championship Moss, no one wants to lose this one!
Chip Newman checks on both men as the fans lose their collective shit. Half the fans start chanting for Vito and the other half Bradlee, They go back and forth, taking turns shouting their favorites. Inside the ring Bradlee has gotten Vito back up. He guides Valentino to the turnbuckle and presses him against it. Bradlee then moves up to the second rope and starts raining down fists on Vito Valentino. The fans count along with the punches until Bradlee reaches six. Vito then grabs both of Bradlee’s legs, and walks forward, taking them out from under him. Vito falls backwards, driving Bradlee’s head right into the top turnbuckle. Bradlee hits and stays standing just a little unaware of his surroundings. Vito grabs him from behind and rolls backwards.
Moss: O’CONNOR ROLL!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
The bell rings and “Life in the Fastlane” begins on the PA system once again.
Moss: He did what he set out to do Thunderbird, he beat the curse!
Howley: What curse!? Are we cursed? I hope that’s just you….
Robbins: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner…..AND STILLLLLLLLLL CLASSIC WRESTLING REAL WORLDS CHAMPION….. “MEEEEEEEEEEEETRO” VITOOOOO VALENTINOOOOOO
The fans go bananas when they hear the result.
Moss: Vito retains! What a fast paced, exciting matchup! Bradlee Nelson gave it all he had and almost came out on top!
Howley: He’s moved up in my book Moss, The man is a tag team specialist, let’s not confuse that, but he’s pretty darn good on his own as well. That said, the Champion is who he is because of what he’s done. It’s an impressive reign already.
Inside the ring Bowie has helped Bradlee up. The referee goes to pass the Surf Express Bro and hand the championship to Vito, but Bradlee rips it out of Chip Newmans hands.
Moss: What’s this?
Vito doesn’t move, but he’s tense.
Bradlee looks down at the belt, then up at Vito. He looks back down, taps the faceplate twice and then hands it to Vito. Vito accepts it with a hug in the middle of the ring and the fans all stand on their feet. One fan throws in a Santa Hat. Bowie Abrams grabs it and places it on the bald head of Vito Valentino before helping him button his belt back on. The three then stand with arms raised in the middle of the ring.
Moss: Ladies and Gentlemen, Thanks for tuning to Classic Wrestling on RBTV, we’ll catch you next year everyone, for Joel “Thunderbird” Howley, I’m Patrick Moss, Happy Holidays everyone!
Fade.