Welcome To Classic Wrestling: Episode 11
“Flying High Again” by Ozzy Osbourne hits on the Studio speakers.
The CLASSIC Wrestling splash logo explodes onto your television screen as the music screeches onward at a dizzying pace. The intro video begins to play across the screen in a dazzling display of audio-visual excellence! This time however it’s highlights from the Classic Wrestling pay per view event, IN YOUR HAUNTED HOUSE! A quick flash brings the camera inside of the Classic Wrestling Studio to a crane-shot showing the pristine ring, the iconic television set, and the jam-packed bleachers full of fans placed just on the other side of the ring. The fans do their part to get the show off to a rock solid start by doing what they do best…
Losing their entire minds!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
As the crowd dies down the camera lands on Otto Price at his podium. He stands poised in a suit and tie, his large round glasses reflect a bit of the light. He smiles and brings the microphone up to his mouth, ready to talk to the camera.
Otto Price: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Classic Wrestling on RBTV, I’m your host Otto Price and I’m so excited you decided to join us this week.. It’s going to be a big episode as we handle all the fallout from IN YOUR HAUNTED HOUSE! We saw new champions crowned, we saw championships defended, and feuds be decided! We’ve got some fallout right away tonight in our main event of the evening, isn’t that right Patrick Moss!?
The camera cuts over to the commentary booth where we see our two favorite wrestling commentators.
Moss: That’s right Otto, Hello everyone, I’m Patrick Moss and I’m joined as always by my partner Joel “Thunderbird” Howley! Carlos Ruiz has been on a hot streak as of late, and at the pay per view he earned a number one contendership to the Premier American Championship… well tonight he gets that shot!
Howley: That he does Moss, He’s going up against the only man to walk into IN YOUR HAUNTED HOUSE with a championship and walk out with one as well! Shujin Yama proved his dominance by retaining and beating “Feral” Freddy Kilgore in a brutal matchup!
Moss: Well tonight can lightning strike twice? or will the great luck of Carlos Ruiz continue!? We’ll see in just a bit! That’s not all we have Otto!
We cut back over to Otto’s podium.
Otto Price: Vito Valentino walked out of the big show with the big belt! He’s our brand new REAL WORLDS CHAMPION, and tonight he’s going to keep his eye on this one! Dash Dackson, Bradlee Nelson, Former REAL Worlds Champion Alex Bruder, and The Undercover Lover will all face in a winner take all shot at the champion on December 12th, right here on RBTV! Alex Bruder being the former champion believes he deserves a rematch with Vito and isn’t afraid to fight for it, and the other three men coming off wins at the pay per view! It’s going to be a huge match with even bigger ramifications.
He breaks and switches gears.
Otto Price: We’ve also got the Amazing Amarettos taking on the debuting BOLTS! We saw these two stick their heads into Lord Colossus vs King Kong Frank, and help Lord Colossus take home the win, now they have their own match as they try to show what they bring to the table here in Classic Wrestling. Lord Colossus will be in action with Ricky Broadway as well, you know Walt Wetzl will be around both of those matches if he can be!
The fans boo at Colossus and the Bolts.
Otto Price: Meanwhile I was just told by Commissioner Gruff Myers that win or lose, next week the Amazing Amarettos will get their Tag Team Title shots against new champions, The Foreign Legion! We’ve got so much action planned for you fans, that we can’t even get to it all right here! We’re going to get this show on the road, and we’ve got a singles match up first for you!
The fans cheer as the music starts up again.
Scott Hunter vs Joe Stone
We gear up for our opening contest as “Burning Heart” by Survivor plays over throughout the studio, bringing the fans to their feet as Scott Hunter makes his way out to a nice reaction from the crowd before heading toward the ring.
Robbins: Ladies and gentlemen, our opening contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first…hailing from Miami, Florida, and weighing in at 245 pounds…SCOTT HUNTER!
The crowd cheer for Hunter as he enters the ring, gearing himself up for what could be a rough night against a much larger opponent!
Moss: Well folks, Scott Hunter looks to ride a wave of momentum from his win over Rush Starling at our last edition of Classic Wrestling TV, but tonight he is up against a beast of a man in Jurassic Joe Stone making his in-ring debut!
Howley: If Stone is as tough as we’re led to believe, this could be a very long night at the office for ol’ Hunter!
Robbins: And his opponent…
“RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHH CAVE MAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!”
After the roar and battle cry is heard by all, the opening of “Walk The Dinosaur” by Was Not Was plays and out comes Jurassic Joe Stone, adorned in a Saber-toothed tiger fur skin and waving his club frantically in the air.
Robbins: Hailing from the Land Before Time and weighing in at a whopping 364 pounds, he is the Cave Warrior…JURASSIC JOE STONE!
Dr. Selah Graves leads him to the ring and he reaches out to slap hands with his free hand before arriving. He hands over his fur and cape and then steps over the ropes to deliver another loud battle cry.
Moss: Stone looks like he’s ready to make a big impact here in his Classic Wrestling debut!
Howley: Boy, I’ll say! He even looks like he just finished half the table at catering!
Moss: What are you talking about?
Howley: He’s got some cheese in his beard from the ham sandwiches, Moss! Look at him!
DING DING DING!
As the bell sounds off, Hunter sizes up his much larger opponent trying to sort out a strategy…but Stone doesn’t give him much of a chance, immediately rushing him with some hard punches! The ref tries to tell Stone to let up on the closed fist, but the Cave Warrior pays him no mind as he continues the assault…until Hunter finally manages to give him the slip, shoving the big man into the turnbuckle!
Moss: Stone getting an early advantage in this contest, but Hunter has found an opening!
Howley: Yeah, but it doesn’t look like Stone is too bothered by that!
Sure enough, Stone is staring at the turnbuckle he just crashed into…and he looks excited! He shouts “TURNBUCKLE!” but before he can tear into it, gets distracted by a dropkick from Hunter! This only serves to upset Stone however, whether because of the attack or because of taking his attention from the turnbuckle he turns to Hunter with an angry look on his face.
Hunter throws his hands up, telling the Cave Warrior to calm down…but Stone refuses to oblige, charging at Hunter instead! Looking to stop the attack of an angry caveman, Hunter manages to catch Stone by surprise with a drop toe hold, bringing him down to the canvas!
Moss: Hunter grounds the Cave Warrior! Now he has a chance to turn things around!
Howley: And he’d better do it quick, you don’t wanna anger someone as big as Joe Stone!
Hunter goes to work on the downed Stone, kicking the big meaty legs of the caveman to do some damage as he hopes to wear him out. This doesn’t last for long as Stone builds back to a vertical base, rising to his knees and then to his feet before slamming his fists against his opponent.
Hunter looks worse for wear here as Stone is fully in control now, his anger getting the better of him even as Graves can be heard from ringside trying to keep the rage in control. Stone goes to work as he does best, slamming his fist against Hunter some more…but Hunter finally manages to slip out of the situation, connecting with a kick that brings the big man back down to a knee.
Sensing his opportunity, Hunter lays into Stone with some hard kicks, each one wearing the Cave Warrior down further and further until he finally falls to his back…and that’s the opening Hunter needs! He struggles with the large legs of Stone, but manages to lock in his Figure Four Leglock! Stone is crying in pain as he fights to get out of it, but the damage to his legs is enough for him to fade as his shoulders hit the mat! The ref spots this and makes the count!
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
DING DING DING!
Hunter lets go of the hold as soon as the bell rings, rising to his feet as the ref raises his arm in victory while Graves checks on Stone who is favoring his knee.
Robbins: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via pinfall…SCOTT HUNTER!
The crowd cheer for an amazing performance from both men, though they are equally hoping everything is alright with Stone as we cut back to commentary.
Moss: What an opening contest this was, folks! Joe Stone really gave it his all in his debut tonight, but Scott Hunter managed to outlast him to pick up the victory!
Howley: A close match for sure, and I reckon Stone’s gonna bounce back from this sooner rather than later…but for now, it’s a big win for Hunter quite literally!
The Bolts vs The Amazing Amarettos
Moss: Here we go, Thunderbird!
Howley: I’m personally excited for this next match, Mossy! Magic verse mystique as one of my favorite teams, the Amazing Amarettos, welcomes the newest addition to our tag division, The Bolts!
# (-) Ions #
The song is new, but the man jumping through the curtain to a shower of boos is not. Walt Whezl soaks them in with a smile as he twirls around to introduce his latest… protégés.
Howley: I don’t know why you’d boo someone who’s given you the gift of Lord Colossus, let alone a new tag team to boot!
Muninn takes a single step through the curtain and stands, inflating his chest in an obvious attempt to look as large as possible. Whezl proudly points back to his talent, but-
Moss: There goes Muninn!
The first Bolt flies forward after Huginn attempted to storm through the curtain, plowing into his partner who was still standing right in front of it trying to look as menacing as possible.
Moss: Huginn just sent Muninn straight into Whezl!
Whezl catches Muninn without losing his own footing, and shoves him back, sending him flying back into Huginn.
Moss: Muninn didn’t even make Walt budge, and Whezl just sent him back into Huginn who just got sent flying back through the curtain!
Howley: What in the…
Huginn comes scampering back out onto the ramp, dusting himself off. He joins Muninn, the two exchange suddenly serious head nods, and storm down the ramp with Whezl behind them shouting insults at the two.
Robbins: … finally… making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of four hundred pounds, soaking wet… THE BOLTS!
# Abracadabara #
KA-BOOM! Twin explosions create two rising plumes of purple smoke, and the Amazing Amarettos, Carlo and Gomez, “magically” appear on the stage. They regale the crowd as they flourish their capes, twirl their wands, and tip their top hats to the audience in perfect coordination with each other. The Classic fans respond with boos.
Moss: Here comes the magic, T-bird!
Howley: I don’t understand these fans!
Their lovely assistant Suzie steps out through the entry-way in a rather normal, non-magical fashion, and her eyes roll back as she holds out her arms in a half-assed show of presentation. The brothers pose with absolute pomp and majesty before all three make their way down to the ring.
Moss: Whezl hasn’t been able to take his eyes off Suzie since she stepped onto the ramp.
Howley: Do I hear jealousy?
The Amarettos perform all manner of magic tricks as they walk down the ramp, conjuring up all manner of cards, quarters, scarves, confetti, pigeons, and flower bouquets seemingly out of thin air.
Robbins: Introducing their opponents… at a combined weight of four hundred and eighty pounds… The Amazing Amarettos!
Carlo and Gomez climb up to the ring from opposite corners and converge at the center of the apron, where they take Suzie by either hand and delicately “levitate” her off the floor, over the ropes, and into the ring before stepping through the ropes themselves. With all three in the ring, they again pose majestically for the audience.
Howley: LET’S GOOOO!
Felipe Chicoda checks in with both teams. Huginn and Carlo decide to start for their respective teams, as their counterparts step onto the ring apron.
DING! DING! DING!
Moss: Carlo and Huginn kick off the action as they both meet in the middle of the ring, locking up! Carlo, definitely not used to being the larger of the two in a grapple, exerts his physical advantage transitioning effortlessly into a side headlock.
Huginn starts frantically stomping his feet while flailing his open hands trying to slap Carlo off of him, but the Amaretto just smiles for the crowd and flips Huginn over, slamming him down to the mat. Huginn bounces two thirds of the way across the ring ultimately grabbing at his back in agony.
Moss: The Evil Abra looks in control early! He stalks Huginn who’s slowly getting to his feet.
Howley: You just wait, Moss!
Moss: Carlo raises his hand looking to grapple Huginn again, but he decides to bolt back toward his corner instead.
Howley: You’re proud of that one, aren’t you?
Moss: It may or may not have struck me as funny, yes.
Howley: Lord, Colossus, save me.
Just before Huginn can make it back for the tag, a sprinting Carlo catches up and leaps, delivering a corner body splash from behind.
Howley: Foul play by the clearly EVIL Amaretto, with that corner splash from behind sending Huginn face first into the top turnbuckle!
Moss: You could say he was huggin’ it!
Howley: Please stop. Oh and to make matters worse, it looked like Huginn tried to stop himself from hitting the turnbuckles so hard by grabbing the ropes, but missed and ended up knocking Muninn off the apron!
Moss: Right, you are, Thunderbird. Looks like there’s some confusion in The Bolts’ corner about that, too! Carlos just flipped Huginn around and started to throw some backhands and Walt Whezl began throwing a fit. He’s screaming at Felipe Chicoda, claiming that when Huginn knocked Muninn off the apron it was actually a legal tag!
While Chicoda argues with Whezl, the crafty manager can be seen fiddling with his cane and casually pointing it toward Carlo, who’s off to Chicoda’s side.
Moss: I don’t think Felipe can see Walt’s cane from that angle. I don’t like this!
Howley: Maybe Walt’s just trying to show the Amarettos a new trick?
As Walt lines up the cane, Suzie seductively approaches the manager. Whezl quickly turns feverish in his demeanor, sweating profusely at the sight of the Amarettos’ manager.
Moss: Looks like Chicoda is conceding! Muninn is the legal man!
Carlo, thinking quick, turns back and races to his corner to tag in Gomez. Muninn slides into the ring while Chicoda instructs Huginn to exit through the ropes.
Howley: Gomez is in, but he’s taking precaution approaching the Bolts’ corner with all the commotion!
Just as Huginn exits the ring, Muninn sneaks around Gomez, who is trying to tell Suzie to get back to their corner.
Moss: Looks like Suzie is giving Walt a kiss goodbye!
Just as Suzie leans forward to plant a kiss on Whezl’s cheek, she casually pushes his cane just a bit. Once the kiss lands, Walt’s cane pops.
Moss: Black mist! It hit Muninn in the face! Gomez turns around to see his opponent blinded. He kicks him in the midsection. DDT!
Gomez runs back and tags Carlo back in. Carlo runs to the opposite corner and sends Huginn flying off the apron with a strong right hand. Gomez and Carlo jump up on opposing turnbuckles as Muninn rolls over, in the middle of the ring, on his back.
Howley: OH NO!
Moss: The Amazing Amarettos are doing their thing on the top ropes of opposite corners… they both take flight! THE AMAZING ATOM SMASHER!
Carlo makes the pin as Gomez leaves the ring, waving and bowing to the crowd as he walks up the ramp.
Felipe drops for the count.
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!!!
DING! DING! DING!!!
Robbins: Your winners, by pinfall… THE AMAZINGGGGGG AAAAAMAAAAAAAAREEETTOOOOOOOS!!!
Moss: What a match! But what about Whezl, huh, T-bird?
Howley: I remember being that nervous around girls… when I was in middle school! Unacceptable! Especially for the type of talent he’s got in The Bolts!
Moss: Sure.
Felton Bigsby (W/ Gordy Lovett) vs Jack Fargo
“The Payback” by James Brown plays through the arena and the fans don’t know what to think right away. Out through the curtain comes a Classic Wrestling newcomer, but they start to boo when he’s accompanied by Doris Hilton and Gordy Lovett!
Robbins: Coming to the ring first, hailing from Houston, TX… weighing in at 320 pounds…FELTON BIGGGSBYYYYYY!
He slides into the ring and flexes hard for the fans to see.
Howley: Holy Cow Puncher, Moss! This guy is jacked up! He’s got muscles where I don’t even have body hair.
Moss: Don’t you shave your body hair?
Howley: Erroneous.
Doris and Gordy wait at ringside.
The docile tones of folk legend John Prine’s “Pretty Good” soft rock the arena. A single spotlight focuses on the curtain where a slightly tanned average looking dark haired muscular fella in a baby blue college style wrestling singlet, with a bronze metal painted on each side, walks calmly from the back.
Robbins: And his opponent… From Plainfield, IL… weighing in at 245 Lbs… He is “BRONZE” JACK FAAAAAAARGOOOOO
It is Bronze Fargo former all American wrestler and Bronze metal winner. In his hand is a box of Wheaties with his picture on it. He hands it off to some fans before rolling into the ring. Out of the back slowly and sneaking by is Burton Howell III. Keeping his eyes on Fargo the whole time.
As the bell rings both men run at each other. Fargo makes contact first with a clothesline. Felton pops up to his feet quickly. Fargo lets loose with a few body shots to the larger man. Stunning him only momentarily. Felton grabs an errant fist and wrenches down on it, taking Fargo down to a knee. Felton Reaches high with his free arm and brings it down on the open shoulder of Fargo, who yelps out in pain.
Moss: Felton showing off quickly.
Howley: Big Man putting in the work!
Felton Picks up Fargo by the hair and whips him into the corner. Almost as if he’s stalking him, Feltonfollows behind. Grabbing Fargo by the chin and lifting his head to meet his. Felton Smiles and unleashes a huge front elbow to the side of Fargo’s head. Followed by two more. Fargo tries to slide down but Felton slows him and pins him in the corner, and runs a knee into his abdomen. Felton Uses the back of Fargo’s head and pulls him to the middle of the ropes. He whips him and on the rebound lifts Fargo and slams him hard to the mat. Felton Stays on top of him for the pin as the ref slides in and checks both shoulders before counting.
ONE….
Fargo gets a shoulder up after one .
Moss: Fargo has been around Classic since day one and it’s going to take more than that to keep him down.
Howley: True but Felton has been impressive so far!
Moss: Well it looks like Fargo has some fight left in him.
Felton’s frustration shows as he gets up after slamming a fist on the mat. Fargo drags himself to the corner. Felton Looks around and sees Fargo up in the corner. He rushes at him, but Fargo gets a boot up just in a nick of time. Felton Shakes his head and goes at him again. Right on cue Fargo gets a boot up again. Felton Stumbles backwards, but clears his vision again and once again rushes towards his opponent. Fargo waits for Felton to put his head down and steps aside and drives Felton Into the corner post.
Moss: Fargo stays one step ahead.
Howley: Savvy move by Fargo.
Fargo pulls the larger man from the corner and tries to get him in the center of the ring. Felton Struggles but gets to his feet and catches Fargo at the last second going for a leaping clothesline and flattens him with a huge shoulder tackle. Felton Rubs his shoulder and rolls it a few times as he sets up in the opposite corner, waiting for Fargo to get to his feet. As Fargo gets to his feet Fleton begins to stalk him. Now on one knee Fargo shakes the cobwebs out as Felton grabs him from behind.
Moss: Fargo looks like the newbie is giving him all he can handle at this point.
Howley: I hear Plainfield is really this nice this time of the year.
Felton grabs Fargo in a full Nelson and lifts him from the ground!
Moss: It could be……
Howley: NOOOOOOO!!!!!
Fargo hooks a leg and frees an arm, dragging Felton to the mat. Fargo rolls off to the side and leaps on the back of Felton and wraps his arms around Felton’s head and neck and begins thrashing side to side, taking Felton to a knee in the process.
Moss: PLAINFIELD PARALYZER!
Howley: And they are in the center of the ring.
Moss: Lets see if Felton can make it to the ropes.
Fargo pulls back as hard as he can, Felton Flails for a few moments, but soon is motionless. As the ref checks Felton he continues to flail. He begins to drag Fargo closer and closer to the ropes. Felton’s fingers are mere inches away……
Felton’s hands drop as he goes completely motionless. The ref immediately calls for the bell as Fargo let’s go of the hold and falls back first onto the mat. Extending his hands above his head in victory.
Harold Robbins: The winner of this match by Technical Submission…. JACK FARGO!
Moss: WOW! What a wrestling match! This is the kind of action you’ll only find in Classic Wrestling.
Gordy Lovett sneaks into the ring and using his Bull rope, he wraps it around Jack Fargo’s neck. The referee calls for the bell and tries to break the wild texan loose but to no avail. Felton gets up and starts stomping on Fargo as he goes down to the mat.
Howley: This is out of hand, even for me!
The fans come alive as Papa Wild Thing comes flying from the back. Freddy Kilgore dives under the bottom rope and gets right up. Both men see him coming and quickly scatter from the ring. Once Kilgore stares them down, he starts to help Jack Fargo back up to his feet.
Moss: Well thank goodness for Freddy Kilgore! Who knows what would have happened to Jack Fargo had that assault continued!
Lord Colossus vs Ricky Broadway
Moss: Alright, Thunderbird, are you ready for some more action packed entertainment?
Howley: Sure am, Moss! Let’s just hope Lord Colossus doesn’t hit Ricky Broadway so hard it creates a black hole, sucking us all in and ending Classic Wrestling as we know it!
Moss: Yes, gotta say I didn’t think about that.
Broadway: Where it began, I can’t begin to know when. But then I know it’s growing strong.
The guitar begins to play as Ricky Broadway comes through the curtain with microphone in hand.
Broadway: Wasn’t the spring. And spring became the summer. Who’d have believe you’d come along
He moves towards the fans who chuckle a bit at the song choice. They sing along anyway. Broadway entertains with some light dancing.
Broadway: Hands, touching hands, reaching out. Touching me, touching you. SWEET CAROLINE!
Fans: BAH BAH BAAAAAAH!
Robbins: Introducing first, from New York City, New York… Weighing 215 Lbs… This is RICKY BROADWAY!
The fans give him a mixed reaction as he dances in a small circle.
Moss: Ricky, looking ready for action here tonight, hoping to pick up his first win at Classic after a debut loss to Holo Make.
#Ace of Spades#
Walter Whezl pops out from behind the curtain receiving his usual sneers and jeers from the crowd..
Moss: No love lost for Walt tonight, T-bird.
Howley: BAH! They just don’t understand what it takes to lead a man like Lord Colossus!
Moss: Yeah, that must be it…
The crowd quiets down quickly as Lord Colossus steps out onto the top of the ramp. Whezl points at the big man who is wearing a studded leather vest and armbands over his one-shoulder black wrestling singlet. Blonde curls poke out from under his leather hood under a 1970s style hockey mask. A Black Gorget wraps his throat. He slowly makes his way down to the ring, before handing off his vest and armbands to Whezl, stepping over the top rope and moving to his appointed corner.
Felipe Chicoda checks in with both men and then calls for the bell.
DING! DING! DING!
Moss: Here we go! Lord Colossus steps forward toward the middle of the ring, raising an open hand up to invite a test of strength. Broadway looked like he was going to go toe to toe, but thought better about it and is now dancing circles around the big man.
Howley: Looks like Broadway learned his lesson from his match against Holo.
Colossus slowly rotates in the middle of the ring, watching Ricky circle around him as Walt Whezl shouts angrily at Broadway for stalling.
Moss: Ricky jukes from the rhythm he was building up and dives in at LC’s legs!
Howley: HAH! The big man didn’t even budge!
Lord Colossus, unflinching, looks down at Ricky grabbing at his legs trying to take him down. He raises a large right hand and throws it downward onto the back of Broadway, sending him flat onto the mat. Ricky turns over, holding his face in pain.
Howley: Colossus lifting Ricky back up by his hair… An irish whip sends The Exceptional One into the ropes. He bounces back, LC lifts up a big boot!
Moss: Broadway ducks under the boot and bounces off the opposite ropes! A running, leaping shoulder block from Broadway sends Lord Colossus back a couple steps trying to regain balance! Ricky quickly gathers himself and charges back! He leaps! Cross body block- NO!
Howley: Look at the pure power of the cosmos, Mossy boy! Colossus just caught Ricky like he was a wrestling doll! Here comes the slam!
Moss: No! Ricky sends some sharp elbows to the side of LC’s head instead! He’s got Colossus stunned! Now he’s adding some knees to the ribs. Lord Colossus has to drop him, falling back against the ropes, stunned!
Broadway grabs Colossus and whips him to the opposite side of the ring. The big man bounces back and Ricky jumps, throwing both legs up at his quickly approaching opponent.
Moss: What a dropkick from The Exceptional One! Lord Colossus just hit the mat so hard I think I felt my seat shake!
Howley: That was the universe, Moss. And it ain’t happy!
Moss: Broadway quick to take advantage of his fallen opponent, going to work on the giant’s legs.
Ricky grabs one of LC’s legs and lifts it up while dropping an elbow with all of his weight behind it on the inside of his opponent’s knee. Broadway pops back up immediately and repeats the elbow drop on the same knee. He gets a third in before stepping back to catch his breath.
Moss: Colossus grabbing his knee after that third elbow drop, clearly in pain here, T-bird.
Howley: Whezl isn’t too happy with him about it, either!
As Felipe Chicoda checks on Lord Colossus, Whezl’s shouting gets Ricky’s attention.
Moss: The Exceptional One is giving it right back to Walter! Oh no! Whezl’s raised that cane of his! I don’t know if Ricky knows what that could mean!
Howley: It’s just a regular, old cane, Moss! Nothing to see ther-
Moss: Chicoda sees the shenanigans and quickly pulls Broadway back away from the ropes! Looks like he’s giving Whezl an official warning for trying to interfere in the match.
As Ricky turns back around to face his opponent, that’s exactly what happens.
Moss: Broadway’s shocked to see Lord Colossus back on his feet, towering over him as the two stand toe to toe!
Howley: Colossus grabs Ricky’s pretty head – OH MAN THAT HAD TO HURT!
Moss: A hard headbutt from LC sends Broadway reeling back into the ropes, he stumbles forward – CLOTHESLINE!
Howley: Broadway nearly lost his head from that one!
Moss: LC goes for the pin!
Chicoda drops to the mat.
ONE…
TWO…
KICKOUT!
Moss: Somehow Ricky gets a shoulder up! Walt, losing his cool outside the ring, can’t believe it and is now accusing Felipe of a slow count.
Chicoda shouts back to Whezl, giving him a final warning, as Lord Colossus yanks Broadway up to his feet and throws him across the rings and into the ropes.
Howley: GIVE HIM THE BOOT!
On queue, LC raises a gigantic boot up…
Moss: Even in a blur, Broadway still manages to duck under the big boot! He bounces off the ropes and leaps up! Hurrica-
Howley: VOLT THROWER! COLOSSUS GRABBED RICKY ONTOP OF HIS SHOULDERS AND JUST THREW HIM DOWN!
Moss: Lord Colossus with the pin!
Chicoda drops.
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
DING! DING! DING!!!
Robbins: And your winner, by pinfall… LORD… COOOOOOLOOOOOSSUSSSSSS!!!
Moss: Another impressive win for the monster Colossus!
Howley: Ricky Broadway makes an exit stage left!
Lord Colossus stands up and looks down at Ricky Broadway. He goes to lift him up again but Walt stops him and tells him it’s not worth it. Colossus lets go, allowing Ricky to fight another day. They both leave the ring as the theme song for Colossus rings out. Hurting all the fans ears.
Dash Dackson vs Bradlee Nelson vs Alex Bruder vs Undercover Lover
Robbins: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is a Fatal Fourway match for the number one contendership to the Real World’s Championship! Introducing first…
Flash Gordon starts on the PA as smoke bellows on the stage. Boos begin raining down on the arena as a spotlight zeroes in on the center of the stage where Dash USED to be kneeling down. However, Dash’s newfound attitude has him just waltzing out, carelessly. His trusty robot companion, Hello World, wheels behind him as Dash acts disgusted at the idea of slapping hands with anyone.
Robbins: From the Future… Weighing 210lbs… DAAAAASH DDDDDDAAAAAAACKSON!
The fans come alive as ‘Nothing But A Good Time’ by Poison plays in the studio. Through the curtain come the two smiling young wrestlers: Bowie Abrams, and the competitor in this match, Bradlee Nelson.
Robbins: Next, from Pocatello, Idaho… weighing in at 217lbs… BRADLEEEEEEEEEEE NEEEEEEEEELLLLLLSOOOON!
Each member of The Surf Express Bros slap hands with the fans as they make their way down to the ringside area. While Bowie stays on the outside, Bradlee enters the ring and sizes up Dash Dackson across the way.
“Hello It’s Me” by Todd Rundgren begins to play over the arena’s sound system. The crowd begins to boo as Undercover Lover makes his way out from the back in a pink robe, dancing seductively down the aisle as usual. He stops at one particular lady and gyrates his hips a bit. When she looks disgusted he waves her off and moves towards the ring.
Robbins: On his way to the ring next, from “The City of Love” New Orleans, Louisiana… weighing in at 225lbs… UNDERCOVERRRRRRRRR… LOOOOOOOOOVERRRRRR!
Just as Undercover Lover gets into the ring and chooses a corner to stand in, “Train of Consequences” by Megadeth begins playing and the audience boos even LOUDER. The former Real World’s Champion walks through the curtains, looking sour at the fact that he even has to compete in a match to get a rematch against Vito.
Robbins: And finally, their opponent, weighing in at 238lbs, from Hillsboro, NC… All Business….ALEEEEEEEEX BRUUUUUUUUDERRRRRR!
Alex makes his way to the ring, slowly, patiently. But just before he can get to the ring… the famous guitar solo opening of the Eagles’ classic “Life in the Fast Lane” hits the speakers and the crowd goes absolutely WILD!
Moss: Hold on a second, folks!! Looks like we have a fifth person coming out, and he’s our Real World’s Champion!
Howley: Aw what the hell is this bald-headed, New York idiot doing out here?!
Bruder’s eyes close, clearly agitated that he has to hear the music of Vito Valentino for a match he isn’t even involved in. Turning around to eye his nemesis, Vito waves and holds up the Real World’s Championship. The audience roars as Metro begins making his way over to the announce booth!
Howley: WHAT?! No. Stop. This can’t be happening.
Moss: Will you stop it?! It looks like Vito Valentino is joining us for commentary here for this match, folks! A match he clearly has a vested interest in!
Vito “Metro” Valentino picks up a headset next to Howley, slapping him stiffly across the shoulders. A scowl on Howley’s face tells the story of a man who is far from amused.
Vito: As my good friend Carlos Ruiz would say, HOLA! Let’s get this match underway, whadda ya say? We got a new number one contender to crown!
Just as Vito says this, referee Kevin Clady calls for the bell.
Ding!!! Ding!!! Ding!!!
Alex Bruder begins this contest by rolling outside of the ring. Bradlee Nelson is none too happy about the former Real World’s Champion bouncing from the contest and gives chase. Back in the ring, Dash Dackson attempts to sneak attack Undercover Lover, but Lover’s sixth sense tingles him and he turns around to greet him with a right hand. Whipping Dash into the ropes, Lover nails a dropkick on the rebound.
Back outside, Bruder is running around the ring with Bradlee hot on his tails, but all of a sudden Alex suckers him in, turns around, and blasts the Surf Express Bro tag team member with a hard lariat! The fans in attendance boo Alex unmercifully as he smirks all-knowingly at surprising his chaser.
Vito: Ah marone! Typical Alex, really. Mind games. Bradlee, unfortunately, was not prepared enough for that.
Moss: Bruder certainly has an edge on the rest of the competitors in this match in that regard, Vito.
Howley: Holy smokes. Are all three of us actually in agreement about something? I didn’t anticipate this happening tonight!
Vito, Moss, and Howley all share a laugh as the action continues.
Back in the ring, Lover is waiting for Dash to get up as he measures him up for another dropkick, but Dash sidesteps it and immediately crashes down across his back with an elbow drop. Seeing nobody around, Dash makes a, wait for it, dash to turn his opponent over and make the cover! Kevin Clady is right there for the count!
One!
Lover kicks out with ease just as Bruder slides back into the ring under the ropes like a snake on the hunt.
Moss: Just a reminder, folks. This match does not have elimination rules. It’s one fall to the finish!
Vito: Thank God I’m not defendin’ my title in there tonight ‘cause I wouldn’t even have to be beat to lose it!!
Howley: Well, Vito, that’s why they call them “Fatal Fourway” matches. One wrong move or one out of place moment, and your chances at winning become fatal.
Bruder grabs Dash by the back of his neck… AND TRIES TO GO FOR THE COBRA CLUTCH! The fans all freak out, giving an idea of who they especially don’t want to win tonight. Lover is back up though, and he charges forward at Dash, connecting flush against Dash’s exposed abdomen with a football tackle that drives both he and Bruder harshly against the turnbuckle, breaking the latter’s attempt at locking in his feared submission hold. Bradlee Nelson is back in the ring though and just as Undercover Lover is getting to his feet with Dash and Bruder in front of him, Bradlee sprints towards them, leaps and connects with a jumping corner splash! Undercover Lover, Dash Dackson, and Alex Bruder all fall to the canvas as Bradlee Nelson stands tall amongst them!
Vito: I’mma just say it, okay? I’m impressed with this guy. I don’t care if people think he’s a tag specialist or whatever. This. BRO. Can. GO.
Moss: He’s looking really good so far!
Howley: He can go. For now. But when the chips are down? This guy doesn’t have the singles experience by himself to win.
Bradlee brings Alex Bruder to his feet, but as soon as he does, Bruder rakes his eyes! Bruder lifts him up… and nails a power slam!
Vito: Uh oh.
Bruder hooks a leg and Clady is in position…
One!
Moss: He might have him!
Two!!
Howley: This is it!!
Thr- Undercover Lover smashes down across Bruder’s back with an axe handle smash, thereby breaking up the pin attempt. Lover gets the former Real World’s Champion to his fet, scoops him up, and slams him down shoulder first across his knee.
Vito: Whoa! That looked rough… this Undercover Lover is damn impressive!
Moss: I believe he calls that one Separation Anxiety
Before he can go for a pin attempt, HELLO WORLD sweeps his leg with one swipe of his metal arm and Lover goes down in a heap, clutching his leg.
Howley: Haha! Yes! Hello World paying dividends for Dash Dackson right now!
Seeing his trusty robot companion take out Undercover Lover, Dash raises his arms in victory.
Vito: That robot needs a beat down. He tries that with me and—
Bradley Nelson runs at Dash with a running jumping back elbow but Dash instinctively ducks and BLASTS Hello World on the outside as he lands! Hello World tips over and Dash is nearly apoplectic.
Moss: Take that, Dr. Robotnik!
Dash goes to climb through the ropes, but Bradley Nelson rolls him up with a school boy!
One!
Bruder is back up and sees the pin attempt.
Two!!
Bruder dives to break up the pin…
Three!!!
…but he’s too late!
Howley: NO!!!!!!
Ding! Ding!! Ding!!!
Robbins: The winner of this match via pinfall and the new number one contender to the Real World’s Championship… BRADLEEEEERER NELSOOOOOOON!!
Vito: Wow. I… didn’t expect that!
Vito removes his headset and grabs the Real World’s Championship from the announce table he rested it on.
Moss: I’m STUNNED. I don’t think anyone gave Bradlee Nelson a chance in hell of winning this match! And now? He gets a shot at becoming the third ever Real World’s Champion in Classic Wrestling!
Howley: What a travesty of JUSTICE!! Bruder was right there!!
Vito: But guess what, Thunderturd? He wasn’t. Bradlee won this one fair and square. So you know what? I’ll be HAPPY to defend my Real World’s Championship against him and give him the shot that he deserves. I said if I won this championship at In Your Haunted House, I would be a fighting champion and defend against ALL comers. I’m a man of my word, guys… so that’s exactly what I’m gonna do!
Bruder sits on the mat, knees bent, shaking his head out of sheer disgust for what just happened. Dash Dackson is arguing with Kevin Clady that he got a shoulder up, and Undercover Lover is being checked on by the ringside medical team for a possible leg injury after Hello World’s blatant interference.
Speaking of Hello World, the robot is spinning in its tracks as helpless as a stranded turtle on the outside mat.
Moss: This kid has the biggest match of his life ahead of him! What a win!
Howley: He better not waste it against that jerk, Vito. Thunderturd?! I better not hear people chanting that!
Bowie Abrams slides into the ring to congratulate his tag team partner, fist bumping and BRO-hugging each other to much fanfare!
Suddenly, as Vito Valentino has made his way down to the ring, he climbs into the ring. The Surf Express Bros look at Vito with caution as the fans all begin to wonder about the Real World Champion’s true intentions.
But everyone’s questions are answered immediately as Vito Valentino extends his hand out of respect. Bowie and Bradlee look at each other, shrug, and they each extend their own hands with fists, asking Vito to bump them.
Nodding at them both, Vito clenches his fist and bumps both of their hands out of respect!
‘Nothin’ But a Good Time’ by Poison hits the arena speakers and the crowd launches into cheers, excited to see Bradlee Vs Vito in the coming weeks.
Clapping for Bradlee’s well-earned victory, Vito exits the ring with the Real World’s Championship, slapping hands and delivering high fives along his way to the back..
Premier American Championship: Shujin Yama (c) vs Carlos Ruiz
Robbins: Ladies and Gentlemen the following matchup is our MAIN EVENT of the evening! The Premier American Championship will be ON THE LINE!
The fans cheer loudly and get excited just at the announcement.
Moss: Here we go Thunderbird! I’m very excited for this matchup!
Howley: You’re not kidding Moss, It’s one of the hottest stars in Classic Wrestling, against maybe the most dominant champion in Classic, it’s going to be a great clash!
“Bombeleo” by The Gypsy Kings plays over the PA system and the Classic fans get to their feet. It isn’t long before everyone’s favorite Spaniard comes through the curtain. He’s fired up and shows his love to the fans.
Robbins: Coming to the ring first, the challenger… Hailing from Madrid, Spain… Weighing in at 212 pounds! “The Spanish Luchadore!” CARLOS RUUUUIIIIIZZZZZZZZ
Carlos rolls into the ring and hops up to his feet. He stands on the second turnbuckle and motions that the championship will soon be around his waist before finally removing his sunglasses and tossing them into the crowd. His theme song fades out.
Moss: A great opportunity for Carlos, he’s gotten here with both a terrific win loss record, as well as coming out on top of a number one contenders match at In Your Haunted House!
The Japanese National anthem begins playing as Sensei Abe Lincoln steps out onto the stage waving a Japanese flag. Shujin Yama follows behind, in a sparkly white robe bedazzled in red diamantes.
Robbins: And his opponent. Hailing from The Greatest Nation On Earth! Weighing in at 469 pounds! He’s the reigning, defending, PREMIER AMERICAN CHAMPION! … THIS IS SHUJIN YAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAA!
They march down to the ring, Yama paying no attention to the crowd while Sensei Lincoln laughs and taunts them. Arriving to the ring, Sensei Lincoln walks up the steps and holds the middle rope down for Yama to step through. He bows in the centre of the ring, as Sensei Lincoln unhooks Yama’s robe the Championship can finally be seen. Once freed, he raises his left leg and drops into a dramatic sumo pose while shouting something incomprehensible to both English- and Japanese-speaking audiences.
The pair meet in the middle of the ring after being checked for weapons. The bell rings and Yama waists no time surprising Carlos during the standoff with a right uppercut to the jaw. Reeling Carlos finds the ropes and uses them to keep his balance. The champion follows up with a double ax this time to the shoulder which drops Ruiz to one knee. A knee lift followed up by a forearm smash to the back of the neck continue the onslaught. Yama grabs Ruiz by the hand and sends him running off the ropes. When Carlos comes back he sees the clothesline coming and ducks it. Yama turns around and his opponent is already coming back at him. Carlos hits a clothesline that rocks but doesn’t drop Shujin. Ruiz hits the ropes again and clotheslines him again.
Moss: Two shots but the big man doesn’t go down! He’s reeling and trying to keep his balance! Here comes Carlos again a third time!
Yama catches Carlos this time and slams him down with a sidewalk slam that shakes the ring.
Howley: BOOM! Did you hear that Moss?
Moss: Like a gunshot going off.
Yama hooks the leg but Carlos is able to kickout at one.
Moss: Going to take more than that to kill the spirit of Carlos Ruiz! He didn’t get here by giving up!
Howley: If anyone can break that spirit, it’s this man!
Yama grabs Ruiz by his giant head and pulls him back up to his feet. Ruiz at the last second slaps away his hand and delivers a huge standing dropkick that finally sends the Champion to his back. The crowd erupts as Yama leaves his feet. Both men try to get up quickly, Yama using the ropes. The Spanish Luchadore runs at the champion but Yama ducks and pulls down the top rope.
Moss: Oh no!
Howley: He’a flying Spaniard alright!
SPLAT! Carlos hits the mat outside the ring and immediately curls up holding his chest.
The official inside the ring yells at Shujin for the dastardly move. Telling him to keep it inside the ring. While this is happening, outside the ring Sensei Abraham Lincoln creeps up on Carlos. He raises the Japanese flag high into the air to strike Carlos in the ribs. CRACK!
Moss: HEY! This guy shouldn’t be allowed out here!
Howley: Referee didn’t see it Moss, it’s essentially like it never happened!
Moss: Tell that to Carlos!
Lincoln walks away innocently when the referee turns around. Carlos starts to get up and Yama reaches over the ropes and grabs the hair of Carlos, guiding him back up on the apron. He goes to suplex the challenger back in, but Carlos is able to sit out onto the apron and spike Yama across the top rope instead. As Yama holds his neck and stumbles back to the middle of the ring, Sensei Lincoln complains to the referee to no avail. Ruiz runs across the apron, climbs the turnbuckles in a flash and as Yama turns around he jumps.
Moss: Huge Crossbody block finds it’s mark!
Howley: And now the cover!
The official slides into position…
ONE…
TWO…
KICKOUT!
Yama pushes Ruiz off over his head. Carlos stands right back up and waits behind Shujin for the right opportunity. When he Yama gets up, Carlos takes his shot.
Moss: SPANISH E….
Howley: YAMA BLOCKED IT!
Using both his forearms together Yama pushes away the leg of Carlos before it gets to his face. Avoiding the patented super kick. Carlos spins around regaining his balance and then runs and tries another crossbody but Yama ducks and catches Ruiz instead. With one quick motion Yama falls backwards driving his entire body weight into the 212 lb luchadore.
Moss: BIG SAMOAN DROP!
Howley: Goodbye rib cage!
Yama hooks the leg and leans all the way back onto Carlos.
ONE…
TWO…
THREE!
The bell sounds and the Japanese National Anthem starts up once again.
Moss: Oh so close for Carlos! A great matchup! He proved he’s got what it takes to compete at the highest level and I have a feeling it won’t be the last time we see Ruiz take on a champion!
Robbins: Here is your winner and STILLLLLL PREMIER AMERICAN CHAMPION! SHUJIN YAAAAMAAAAAAAA
Howley: Yama now 2-0 defending his championship! He’s on a tear in Classic Wrestling, I’ve only got one question Moss…
Moss: What’s that Thunderbird?
Howley: Who in the heck is going to stop Shujin Yama!
The camera zooms in on the champion and his manager Sensei Abe Lincoln. Yama angry and intimidating stares directly into the camera. He raises the championship high into the air.
Moss: I don’t know Thunderbird, I just don’t know… We’re out of time folks, Thanks for tuning in and please join us next week here on RBTV o see more Classic Action!